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Chris D'Elia
I'm on Comedy Central XM channel right now. Channel 95
15% off the all new CUTE ARMY sweatshirts in the store this week with promo code "BUTTERS15".
It's fall. You wanna be a part of my fuckin Cute Army? Enter discount code "BUTTERS15". Good for 15% off sweatshirts only through Friday. #CUTEARMY (Ehehehehe)
Tiny as fuck but still cute as fuck. (Photo credit: Troy Aikman)
Hey @JohnnySkourtis honestly you were really good in Equalizer. Made me very happy to see. Had no idea you were such a talent.
#modellife #BTS #DBJ #weareliving #blessed #instacool #workflow #summerfashion #bye #hollywood #besos #darkhair
OHIO and INDIANA this weekend. Check my website for tickets.
And if anyone were to give me any award for it I would NOT accept it and I would say "I wasn't acting. I was Japanese for a little bit."
And you're not even gonna realize until the end of the movie that I also played another little part of an old clerk that was in one scene.
BTW not gonna do extra hair and make up. Gonna just straight up BE a fuckin Japanese guy and it's not gonna be racist it will be BEAUTIFUL.
and I literally do a FULL THREE minute monologue to Colin Hanks about the best way to prepare a Kobe steak and it's SO fucking captivating.
"There was one part where he is crying in it and he falls down and you feel so bad for this Japanese guy. You don't even think it's him."
People will be like "Hey did you see D'Elia in that movie where he plays a Japanese guy? No it's actually SO good. Not funny at ALL."
Gonna play an asian guy in a drama one day. Gonna take it SO seriously and cry so hard in the part and actually feel like I'm Japanese.
Framing my face with my feet then makin' a cute fuckin' noise. Camera work by me.
Taking a picture of the crowd. (Photo by @stefandelmedico)
Gah'beard. Lem'putit on'y'fays. Wen'uh'mayk'luv uh'putit on'y'faiiiiisssss m'lips goh on'y'liiiiips. Go inseid'y'baudi. W'feal'guhd.
Hey guy. Be more Canadian.
I love Canada. It's just so fucking awesome.
Left or right? #100PERCENTFUCKNO
Thanks, Toronto, for TWO awesome crowds. 🍁Columbus. OH, you're next. 26 cities left. #undernoinfluencetour
Toronto girlz are D'Elievers too. Ehehehehe. #undernoinfluencetour
My special "White Male Black Comic" is on right now on @ComedyCentral.
About to do my new hour in front of an awesome Toronto crowd. Being brought on by @brodyismefriend who always gets the crowd count wrong. #undernoinfluencetour
First one at the airport at 3:58AM. Thanks for making me be like this, dad. You have passed on your "way too early at the airport" gene. At least I can sit however I want because no one is fuckin' lookin' at me. My feet are in the air and I'm bein' mad cute. Thanks, Albany NY. 27 cities left. #unde
Hey guys. My driver in Albany has two pairs of glasses on right now while he is driving. This is not a joke. It is real. He didn't do it to make me laugh. He did it because he wanted to. Needless to say, this is very interesting to me because of how the most pair of glasses anyone should ever wear a
...annnnnd has to shit so bad.
Bro. I will fucking kill you. For real. Absolutely play nothing from the horns section of an orchestra in a goddamn airport and that's of the utmost obvious nature. #100percentfuckno
This picture goes out to all my haters that said I could never be Japanese. I always knew no matter what I wanted to do, I could always accomplish my dreams if I worked hard enough. Sometimes when becoming Japanese felt like the furthest thing out of my grasp I just wanted to give up... but instead
Don't have your hair be all stupid and shit. Have your hair be normal always.
Modelin' with Bryan Callen. Gonna be on billboards probably for products and bein a model.
This is how i text with @chrisdelia. "Why?" you ask?.. cause he's creepy.
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia
I like @PhilCollinsFeed, @CHVRCHES and Tupac. I like zero other music. Fuck you.
I pray that someone, anyone... actually fell for this.…
Did you guys hear about this guy that has 100 orgasms a day?! So insane. That's 82 more than me.
It's @davidsullivan AKA Andrew Jackson Hair ASLEEP IN PUBLIC. Hey wake up bro! Also why did you cut your Andrew Jackson hair?!
Superwater? #100percentfuckno
It's fall. Can girls shut up about it now?
Do you know who is the funniest man that ever lived? Sinbad. Straight up. Disagree? Fuck you.
Back with this dude.
This dog wants to be a fucking seatbelt so bad.