Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want to get more twitter followers? Click here to watch our video.
Chris D'Elia
actor comics writers 348,480 followers
Some guy tried to shake my hand, I fist bumped. Then he tried again TWICE so I shook BOTH TIMES after that. Literally almost fucked him up.
I'm doing some dates for Oddball Comedy Festival next month. Come see me in your city.…
Montreal: Old people and women with good bodies.
I have always said that French people are the best at creating things that are technically not things. For instance, they will have something like a TV show of a guy in a clown outfit singing very passionately. Now we all know that that's absolutely nothing. But the French disagree or maybe they sim
Proud to announce my all new 31 city tour "Under No Influence". Check it out on my site. (Photo by @triggerchrome)
Proud to announce my all new 31 city tour "Under No Influence". Check it out on my site.
Hey girls, you are not a "mommy" just because you own a dog. You have to have a kid to be a mommy. If you are a mommy, then I am a dragon.
I'm in the airport headed to Montreal and I am currently 100% the ugliest I have ever looked.
Fighting Technique (with @willsasso and @bryancallen)
Butters knows Sam hates this. But he KEEPS fuckin with him. I hope Sam pounces on this motherfucker once and for all.
The only time I was ever on TV and my mom told her friends NOT to watch me. #workaholics
Guys who have brown facial hair but long blonde hair are absolutely fucking insane. Literally they will stab you in the front.
Girls are always like "That is SO US!" But... Nah, that shit ain't you.
GREAT shot of the three of us. These guys both look the best they've ever looked. (@rickglassman + @brentmorin)
@whitneyacummings blurry with laughter at @thecomedystore
Look at my friend's stupid as fuck Mophie pack. It looks like the fuckin bomb in a Michael Bay movie.
You don't have to quote anyone on twitter, because they have a twitter.
My friend @greenhiphop acting like he doesn't appreciate me in this speedo. (Photo credit: Pierce Brosnan) #NOCHICKSALLOWED
My new girlfriend Bo and I.
Why do fitness people always talk about "never giving up" and "pursuing dreams"? Other people work hard too. You just eat a lot of chicken.
New @TenMinPod "DADADA BABABOO" Have a listen.
Shout out to girls that always make the same face because they think that shit is sexy.
Chris D'Elia is one of the few white man I'd fuq.
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia