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Chris D'Elia
Thanks to Larry Wilmore and the crew from @thenightlyshow. We had a good time talking about real political issues like nipples and fucking. Check out the clips on #nightlyshow
Magicians get lonely too. #zacefron
When you go to do a magic trick but you remember right at the "presto" part that your girl broke up with you.
Throwback Thursday? Or is it throwback Tuesday? I don't fuckin know. I've never done a #tbt before but this picture came up on Facebook and I was taken back. This is from the absolute first time I EVER headlined a comedy club. It was in San Jose, CA on like a Tuesday or some shit. A few people came
Hey world. Congratulations for making me so fiery mad that I feel it in my heart. I mean this dudes HAIR, man. It's drivin me fuckin nuts. Has this dude ever seen a profile of himself? Because this shit is RIDICULOUS. He simultaneously put the hair gel DEPP back in business while putting the franchi
When someone walks in on you taking a piss sitting down and you are doing that because you are an extra terrestrial disguised as a human and you don't really know human males pee standing up and now you have to kill the person because you realize they know something is up and you can't take the chan
I caught Pimp-Ass Ronald McDonald at the mall in Atlanta. He also had spikes on his shoes so birds won't land on them. I honestly have been laughing about this for 6 to 7 minutes. People in Atlanta dress so fucking hysterical it's unreal. Imagine this dude dressing like this at home and then leaving
My newest Tinder match. We are in love already.
Good night, Atlanta. Thanks for the show. See you tomorrow and also Saturday and then see you Charlotte on Sunday and then see you Long Island and then see you West Nyack and then see you Manhattan and then see you Los Angeles and then see you Brea and then see you Hawaii and then see you Tampa and
Me and the crew. 🐶🐶
Oh shit. Here is the worst thing I have ever seen. Good job, world.
So excited this finally comes out this weekend. Can't wait to see it.
Me when listening to anything on NPR because I'm a dumb piece of shit for real. 😔
Coffee always. (Photo Credit: Tom Hardy)
😳 #straightoutta
Ummmmm okay Ted Cruz? Kind of a weird response no? #republicans #foxnewslive #republicandebate #GOP
These are available now. For back to school. This way you can work but still also keep it VERY real. Go to my website. #100percentfuckno #backtoschool
Some dates on the east coast coming up. Also check my website for other dates. Link in bio.
Good thing the music isn't way too loud in the bathroom. I absolutely love to rock when I piss.

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