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Chris D'Elia
actor comics writers 306,956 followers
Just became Jenny from the block about 6 hours ago and I'm still jenny from the block how do I get out of this
Me and my best friend Matt D'Elia. #TBT
When's that eclipse supposed to happen I've been looking up for like a day. 😞
Decided to start modeling tomorrow. Going over different great looks for my face to have for the pictures I'm gonna have shot of me.
Attention drunk girls: we're giving away 10 free downloads of @chrisdelia's "White Male. Black Comic." on.cc.com/QpL1hW #StandUpMonth
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia
If you're kissing a girl for the first time and she won't let you honk her boobs too then that's bullshit.
New episode of our podcast @TenMinPod "Chris Hates Coachella" bit.ly/1qCXXy6 - Have a listen!
The only thing worse than this hat is crying in this hat. pic.twitter.com/UHeSBFvJ7i
SAN DIEGO in two weeks. Buy tickets here now. americancomedyco.com/catalogsearch/…
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE vine.co/v/MJpvdr3VUha
Almost went to Coachella but immediately realized no fucking way because of absolutely fucking not.
You know baseball is a bullshit sport because it's the only one that blonde guys are good at.
Moose guy is back hitting on human females. Woman is scared. Girl is terrified.
If you don't watch the NEW Dave Attell special "Roadwork" tonight at midnight on Comedy Central then consider yourself shitty. (@attell)
@chrisdelia this is the line waiting for your 10p show in Tempe.. You fckin rock man, ur 730 was amazing youtu.be/9jWUoEns9oI
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia
Last night at the Tempe Improv. Love this club.
There's a fuckin guy dressed as a moose in my hotel pool. Hey guy, no.
New episode of my podcast @TenMinPod "Y'Gah'Boyf?" bit.ly/1mZ7Zum LISTEN.
You can't fuck with my Cute Army. #CUTEARMY
"It's simple" I mutter in front of four woman of different backgrounds. "Lovemaking is like a car. You have to go inside it a long time."
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia
Follow @romanticjaguar if you want your love life to improve. He knows all the moves. @chrisdelia
Retweeted by Chris D'Elia