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Chelsea Handler
You can now find my dogs and my breasts on Twitter only where my followers have the right to choose what they say. Bye bye instablock
If instagram takes this down again, you're saying Vladimir Putin Has more 1st amendment rights than me. Talk to your bosses.
If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it's ok, but not a woman? Are we in 1825?
Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to show I have a better body than Putin. pic.twitter.com/SFih1Aa17x
Anything a man can do, a woman has the right to do better. #kremlin
Congrats to my friend @BridgetMaryMc on receiving the Guardian of Justice Award. You are an amazing example of a human woman.
My Chilean driver, Osvaldo, zip lining. Then we feed him empanadas.
Chilean zip lining. Spending my time wisely.
I checked into a hotel in Patagonia a d this is what they had on my bed.
Chunk's face when I told him I was leaving again. This is my time off, I said. "you're not a mother," he said. #unfit parent
TJ Doing audio recording for Uganda. Plays my South African Safari guide with Australian accent. you do what you can pic.twitter.com/2iX6ppIVPv
TJ Doing the audio recording for Uganda. He plays my South African Safari guide but with an Australian accent. you do what you can
Visiting my nephews college dorm. I've never been so thankful I skipped college, or rather, college skipped me
We'll be in Auckland nov 29th at the ASB THEATER. Go to chelsea handler.com for tickets
Taking the day to himself
Swung into ocean to breast stroke my way to Sydney opera house. November 20th. I'll see you there. Come be with me! ๐Ÿ˜ท
Swung into ocean to breast stroke my way to Sydney opera house. November 20th. I'll see you there. Come be with me!๐Ÿ˜ทpic.twitter.com/0AyU9X1rKpp
I didn't even know my dogs had been saving.
This is what I see when I look at Dave Grohl. Sonic highways premieres tonight on HBO at 11pm. It's brilliant pic.twitter.com/BrhYubAPZQ
Chunk going down on me @balletbodies. The family that works out together, burns calories together.
One has the nose of a Jew and the other looks like he got smacked in the ace with a frying pan. #sense of smell
Me and my Moroccan hair doo doo doopsy doer. #ayahuasca
They bought me my own harness #netflix
This is a woman taking the potatoes off my plate in madrid. #carb loading
What 50 cent saw in me.
Tonight's the night. A woman just showed me this at the airport. I will be on a plane for my first STREAM!๐ŸŒšpic.twitter.com/Ve1sZWvVqmm
Thank you @stellamccartney for my Netflix debut negligee and bag. Letterman tonight, then Netflix. Happy to be home.
I canโ€™t be racist โ€“ my dog is an Asian/Jewish crossbreed. #UgandaBeKiddingMe is #NowOnNetflix nflx.it/Zuwlmv pic.twitter.com/5fY15qTspW
I canโ€™t be racist โ€“ my dog is an Asian/Jewish crossbreed. My new stand up special #UgandaBeKiddingMe is #NowOnNetflix nflx.it/Zuwlmv
This is who they assigned me at the Genius Bar.
Look at the Jew I found on the way to my bank. #i love Irving azoff.
You want to ignore me when I get home? Suck on this, chunk. And don't pretend you're not on Instagram.
I just ran into Chuy's sister in Chinatown.
Follow SiriusXM and @EWlive for a preview of my Town Hall with Dave Grohl. pic.twitter.com/6Rpy9hOfpv
In my new Netflix office getting de-kardashianiazed.
I just beat nadal on his own court. #pouissou
I did it. 10,000 leagues under the equator
I did it. 10,00 o leagues under the equator pic.twitter.com/Cj9gUagEgX
Don't you think this is a bit much for when I check into a hotel room that I've been to before. What the hell do they think I'm up to?
My doc removing some coral someone stuck in my toe. If my feet could talk, they'd have their own show on e!
Separated for a month and when I return, he chooses food over me for the first time in our relationship. I fear I may have lost him forever.
My stand-up special airs Oct 10th on Netflix. Come be with me. youtu.be/_fUYz66IVrw