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Prince Charles
royals 376,577 followers
It's nice to see Russia and Ukraine are planning to mark the centenary of World War I with a full scale re-enactment.
Someone give Vladimir Putin a Snickers.
Closing the UK until further notice. #ukstorm
Mr Cameron on the phone. He wants to fully support those affected by the floods, which is a smart move to grab the floating voters.
Bloody typical. One's been waiting for public transport in Somerset for an hour, then two boats come along at once.
Pissing with rain, once again. Have sent a text to UKIP to see if anything can be done. Awaiting a response.
Have arrested Justin Bieber for crimes against music.
One has been given extra Royal responsibilities and duties, which is a fancy term for "take the corgis out for a walk".
Oh God, it's Monday already. Someone get one a bacon sandwich.
I now declare 2014 open. Happy New Year.
Royal New Year's Resolutions: - Become King - Make it illegal to be Justin Bieber - Teach Camilla how to 'twerk' - Sell France
Australia, the New Year officially starts when Big Ben strikes midnight and not a second before.
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their decorations up. Unbelievable.
Royal game of Charades. Harry's interpretation of 'Free Willy' was totally inappropriate.
Christmas dinner. William asked Kate if she wanted stuffing. Awkward.
On the first day of Christmas, Camilla gave to me...a partridge in a pear tree. One gave her an iPad. Annoyed.
Mr Cameron paid a surprise visit to troops in Afghanistan today. Not exactly the Christmas present they wanted. Poor sods.
Today is Nelson Mandela's funeral, who went from prison to politics. Quite the opposite to how we do things in Great Britain.
Dear MPs, at least Dick Turpin had the decency to wear a mask before robbing people. Regards, Great Britain.
MPs want an 11% pay rise?! Someone get Guy Fawkes on the phone.
Rest in peace, Nelson Mandela. The greatest man that ever lived.
On the third day, God created gin.
Trick or Treaters, one is officially "not in". Sod off, or one shall be forced to release the corgis. #happyhalloween
Yes, Mr Cameron, one would love to attend your Halloween party. One'll be dressed as the Invisible Man. #happyhalloween
St Jude has been downgraded from a hurricane-force storm to a summer in Scotland. #ukstorm