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Barney Stinson
comedy 532,902 followers
At a conference, Frasier runs into Howard Stern (cameo). F: I also get my callers to strip down—to their emotional cores. Stern: Sounds hot.
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Roz starts dating a circus performer. Frasier: "Apparently he has a degree from a clown college." Niles: "He went to Stanford?"
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Big ups to Pam Fryman, our wonderful director who's largely responsible for me pulling so much tail the past 9 years. Basically my pimp.
sdfgsldkfgnlksdj RT @ActuallyNPH: I just uttered my last word as Barney "Awesomepants" Stinson today.
I can finally bang coworkers without any repercussions! That's the dream! RT @HIMYM_Writers: The final week of HIMYM...
No collection of idiots better than those folks. @HIMYM_Writers forever.
With HIMYM ending and nobody willing to pay us to keep running the account (I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man), follow our writers!
There's been no greater influence on HIMYM than "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C. Societal touchstone.
As we go on... we remember... RT @CarterBays: Principle writing of How I Met Your Mother is now complete.
THESE KIDS RULE. AND LOOK SHARP! Way to always suit up, Danny! wcvb.com/news/local/bos…
Leave one in there. RT @notalwaysweak: @Broslife what if they're in someone else's pants?
Take your hands out of your pants for tonight's HIMYM. You'll need 'em.
I can explain. RT @CobieSmulders: Does anyone know how to get glitter out of….well…everything?
After all we've been through, you still hang in there, tough as ever. You're my best friend in the world. Merry Christmas, penis.
How I Met Your Music! It's just like sex, only with more moaning and less nudity: bit.ly/howimetyourmus…
Shooting our 200th HIMYM episode, which means that if you lined all the episodes up and boned them, one or two are bound to get pregnant.
If there isn't a restaurant in the South called The Bacon-Dixon Line, I have no faith in humanity.
BROS II BROS. RT @HimymCraig: So @BoyzIIMen stopped by to cover a #HIMYM classic today and it was awesome - pic.twitter.com/LlBHHSfMfs
Can you twt all day without using th lttr "E" #challngaccptd ttps://twitter.com/HIMYM_CBS/status/399959557826310144
Check out this new song from @clearsidemusic ! Reminds me of that sexy, sweaty rave I went to in the 2nd Matrix tinyurl.com/l5k4anh
Not great, Richie Incognito. Not great.
Check out my girl Cristin Milioti on the @HIMYMpodcast. She's not a mother, she's THE MOTHER. bit.ly/himympodcast
And we're a few days late on National Coming Out Day, but big ups to all the Bros and Lady Bros who stood up. You are all awesome.
Tonight's HIMYM written by @thedougmand & @gregorcorp, check out LegalPokerAruba.com -- I'm the CEbrO. Ranjit just wears the visor.
Bros and Lady Bros: Here is my blog from after last night's episode. Broliferation. It's a thing! cbs.com/shows/how_i_me…
This is NOT funny. I feel this man's pain. gawker.com/groom-decides-…
The @HIMYM_Writers are in Vegas preparing for hibernation by eating and drinking everything in a five mile radius. Strippers taste weird.
Australia! It’s time to meet the mother. #HIMYM’s final season begins 8pm Thursday September 26 on Seven.
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Hey Philippines! The legendary ending is about to begin! How I Met Your Mother Season 9 premieres on Sept.26, Thursday @ 8PM on @2nd_Avenue!
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Oh you know, just @BryanCranston RETURNING TO HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. BRB GRABBING MY METH TO CELEBRATE. cbs.com/shows/how_i_me…
SEASON 9 PREMIERE TONIGHT. It's gonna be LEGEN-- you've-already-been-waiting-for-it-so-I-won't-make-you-wait-for-it-- DARY
My friend Neil is hosting the Emmy's on Sunday. Then, the HIMYM season 9 premiere on Monday. Maybe consider watching those things, Twitter.
Wear condoms. It's like getting constant high-fives for your weiner.
I just threw my back out trying to perform the Alaskan Flamingo with two girls at once. #throwbackthursday
Less tweety, more writey, George. RT @georgesloan: Writing my third episode of HIMYM and getting nostalgic that it's going to be my last...
Con my way into becoming the only male inmate on Orange Is The New Black? Challenge accepted, Taystee.
I did Fantasy Football once. It was, uh, not what I thought it would be.
I can count on one hand the number of girls I've slept with. My hand is enormous.
RULING: It's okay to slap another Bro's ass as you walk by him as long as there are two layers between hand and cheek.
Ladies, what's your favorite part of a man's body? It's upper thighs, right? Gotta be upper thighs.
Straight from the Brold Testament... RT @HimymCraig: Look what Broses brought us! #HIMYM pic.twitter.com/qx8M0XKIUc
The Playbook, page 232: THE CARLOS DANGER -- Unleashing your weiner online and running for public office. (props, AW)
So HIMYM dominated Comic-Con. What up, @GameOfThrones? The Mother is Coming, bitches. popwatch.ew.com/2013/07/22/com…
HIMYM will be at Comic-Con this weekend. Copious fist bumps will be given to anyone in a ducky tie.
India you know you my girl. YOU KNOW YOU MY GIRL, INDIA.