Thanks to this clear-out, I may have found the best-fitting, most comfortable pair of skinny jeans ever.
Today is 11/12/13 meaning it’s National OCD Day.
Going to unsub HuffPost Celeb. Don't care about Kardashians etc. - doesn't stop me clicking and learning I own the same powder as 'LiLo'.
There was a 28yo woman who lived in a house. She owned so many pairs o jeans, dresses, tops & shoes she just lived in a heap of her own mess
Everyone loses their winter gloves. It's like a tradition, or an ancient charter, or something. @Rhys180
Even better, I don't even have to buy any new tops now; turns out I own some pretty cool stuff.
Coming across things I forgot I ever owned. And some handy winter gloves I thought I'd lost forever.
Having a clear-out; getting rid of stuff so I can buy more stuff. It's a woman thing.
The truncheons are calling. It's for you.
That tweet about the eye was extremely badly timed, as at least two of my friends have posted about seeing eye doctors today. Oops.
There was a dyslexic boy at my school called Alan Beads. I shit you not.
Oh, so you want to have a guest slot on my blog, do you? Promoting grammar, is it? Monies with that, I will need.
You know that old saying 'it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye'? Load of old bollocks, it was hilarious.
Haven't been this knackered since the last time I said I was this knackered. 'Night, the ferals of Twitter...
Make your mind up, Tesco. You *asked* me to bring my own bags, pack them myself and use the self-checkout, now you’re calling it “stealing”.
I'm so knackered today, @BrentSpiner
forgot how to spell 'veteran'. Apologies to his millions of followers.
When you turn 100 you get a telegram from the Queen. Presumably when you turn 75 you get a metallic blue Honda Jazz and a Panama hat.
Hello world my name is average boring middle class teenager and I fight racism and stereotypes on the internet look at me I'm a good person
If no-one tells me they want a fucking Cornetto, I will not be held responsible for my actions.
Going down the shop, does anyone want anything?
I was actually being serious. I think I'm floating in and out of consciousness while I type th... Grandma? Is that you??
I'd like to see a 'Twitter is under capacity' page every now and then. The 'fail whale' could be replaced with a 'knock yourself out trout'.
I need a nap while I wait for sod all to happen.
I will cum on your notion that I am here to do all the work and make all the effort and you are here to do fuck all and act like a cunt
I will cum on your disjointed memories which allow you some degree of artistic licence
I'm so addicted to the soft, squishy, fruity goodness of Rowntree's Randoms, it's not even funny.
Steve McQueen was cool. BULLITT is super cool. And, when you watch this you'll think @MrAlanSpencer
What just happened? I don't even... m.youtube.com/watch?v=qpjwjm…
I used to think that Ginger Rogers was a really specific gentleman's club.
I feel compelled to speak one last time about guns. I hope it's the last time. I have received so many (cont) tl.gd/n_1rre9mn
I hope one day 'Miss Universe' becomes more representative of its name. Typical humans, so fucking arrogant.
Just watched 'Seven Psychopaths'. One of the most original films I've seen in a while, so kudos to Martin McDonagh.
Antique '70s sunbed goggles, for an antique blue '70s 'Slimtan' sunbed... which my Dad still owns.
I don't feel like eating today. Apparently that's good for you, so I'm just going to run with it bbc.co.uk/news/health-19…
Someone just sent me a link to the 'Incest sex lovers in karachi' FB page and told me to 'use it as u will'... #truestory
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then how on Earth has it just poured me a rum and Coke?
I just did a Brian Butterfield. I won't need to eat for a week now.
I have not eaten all day for this moment. INAPPROPRIATE BREAKFAST X 1000
ARGH!!! WTF is 'Airdrop'?! Have I just commanded a box full of ammo/tactical supplies to fall on me 'Call of Duty' style?? #ios7
Down with this sort of thing.
My iPad's iOS7 is freaking me out.
The Tyrannosaurus rex always played its cards close to its chest.
FB friends and followers are dropping like flies today. I suspect it's politically or technologically motivated disowning.
Britain needs a new, updated Robin Hood, dressed in modern superhero garb. This is how far we've come, people. It's laughable.
Said it before and I'll say it again; the term 'the cost of living' just sounds so very wrong to me. Why should living come with a cost?
"A depraved Sheriff of Nottingham is ruling Britain." rt.com/op-edge/britai…
If it doesn't taste slightly of dirt, it's not a proper baked potato. Think about it.