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BronwenWinterPhoenix
Just met Sid the Cat, who may parents have been looking after. He is lovely.
I am woman: I mark my lair with drying bras hanging on the radiators. Know it well.
Weekends with Murdo Borland are the best weekends.
Have you ever had the feeling you don't want to go to sleep because you'll miss looking at someone's face too much?
A camouflaged leopard gecko.
I'm so happy it is disgusting. This should not be allowed. Someone should really do something about this, before it gets out of control.
Still cleaning up the mess from last night. Cabbage and chocolate sauce everywhere...
THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD AND I NEED TO COMBAT THIS WITH RIDICULOUS IMAGES!!! WHO'S WITH ME?!?!!
Or a writing desk. Or squirting chocolate sauce from their mouths onto a flannel.
Feel like we should somehow be taking advantage of the fact that no-one's taking away our right to film a person making love to a cabbage.
Plumbers are here. They've just started playing Madonna...
“I am a genius but nobody knows it but me.” – Charles Bukowski
Retweeted by BronwenWinterPhoenix
Just thought I'd update everyone on the fact that I haven't died from tampon use yet. As you were.
Feeling very vintage today.
My Mummy has bought me an advent calendar. Thanks, Mummy. <3
Period fun time again. Only bought tampons. If I leave one in overnight, will it kill me in my sleep?
People going mental in Dundee over Black Friday sales. I blame The Rot; it's spreading.
Is there anything finer in life than root vegetable crisps and tea? Right now, I think not.
They've changed the voice on 7-minute workout from a friendly game show host to a woman T9-071 terminator.
Tea, banana loaf, bath, furry throw and yet more tea. Could not be more relaxed right now.
Selfie from last night that I managed to brighten.
Pumpkin is on her best behaviour tonight.
Explosions in Edinburgh.
About to go on this thing.
Falloch/Buried Sleeper gig.
This is the best fucking burger I've ever had in my life, sorry but it needs a photo.
Perfect eyeliner + angry chin spot = hidey face.
It's all about looking on the bright side. For instance; men with sandpaper faces = brilliant free exfoliation treatment.
I reckon this corset is starting to kill me about now.
Inside the Spiegel Tent!
Trying to deal with two angry spots on my chin, but all I have here is toothpaste, damnit. Anyone else got any ideas?
... is not something I'm going to put on Facebook, because people might judge me.
The word 'moustache' comes from the French word 'moustache' meaning 'moustache'.
Retweeted by BronwenWinterPhoenix
*DING DONG* -- Sorry, I can't answer the door because I'm currently on the bathroom floor with hair removal cream on my nether regions.
Why oh why did I think it was a good idea to eat so many dried prunes?