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Bo Burnham
"Taylor Swift stays out too late!" - some people, apparently
JUST HIT A MILLION FOLLOWERS! I AM SO HAPPY! KIDS! PURSUE LARGE TWITTER FOLLOWINGS AT ALL COSTS! THIS IS SO SATISFYING SPIRITUALLY!!!!!!
Thank you to everyone sending me nice birthday tweets. I AM NOW FOUR FACTORIAL AKA XXIV AKA JACK BAUER AKA TWO MOTHERFUCKIN DOZEN.
BILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Movie postquels. They're like prequels except they show what happens NEXT, wait, whoops, nevermind.
LA! Just released a few last minute tickets for "Bo & Friends" tonight. Will be me and 4 of my closest comedifriends. ticketfly.com/purchase/event…
A picture of me wearing one of the many smiles Robin Williams has given me during my life. pic.twitter.com/t8f09vBcSQ
Well that really fucking sucks.
CONGRATS TO ALL THESE ANCIENT AND POSSIBLY IMMORTAL SHAPESHIFTERS FOR FINDING SUCH BEAUTIFUL HUMAN SKIN TO WEAR!!! pic.twitter.com/EBe4Rg76ZP
Hey new followers! I wrote a book of poetry: amazon.com/gp/aw/d/145551… it has stuff like this in it pic.twitter.com/kFHvrUveUL
LOS ANGELES: Come to see me work on new material but stay for my professional comedian friends! BO & FRIENDS tix: largo-la.com/event/632943/
I live my life by a simple code: 01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100001
FUN FACT: A person who thinks that the average person only uses 10 percent of his or her brain is only using 10 percent of his or her brain.
Had a great time Showing My Song today. #krollshow pic.twitter.com/xy080TIXh6
WHAT A DISASTER! I NOW KNOW JOKES CAN HURT! #SORRYHUNTERS pic.twitter.com/X9CMzRcIQw
I'M DOING MY BEST. I AM SO SORRY. pic.twitter.com/W1UVFw20Sp
I AM NOW PERSONALLY APOLOGIZING TO ALL HUNTERS WITH TWEETS. I AM SUCH AN IDIOT. THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.
Let's all take a second today to just sit and think about how lucky we are to not be named Hunter.
Had a wet dream about Betsy Ross. #America
Every time I say something racist all these PC 1st-amendment-hating liberals are all like "you're racist." #smh
I'm performing @FestivalSupreme on 10/25 in Los Angeles. Amazing line-up. Tickets at festivalsupreme.com pic.twitter.com/QmJWFXh0v7
@iamdiddy: In a world where you can be anything you want, BE YOURSELF.” WILL DO, SEAN COMBS!!!
Been in the library for hours trying to figure out the subtext to Katy Perry's "it's time to bring out the big balloons" line. No progress.
I like Lana Del Ray because she sings sad songs but also looks like she could sell you a quality jar of beeswax.
Well then I guess I got a FULL-RIDE SCHOLARSHIP. Right, Diddy? Diddy? Plz respond “@iamdiddy: Failure is the tuition you pay for success.”