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Andrew Gaskins
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some short guys go on a really, really, really, really, really long walk, have some arguments and then one loses a finger -Lord of the Rings
Old man travels to Venezuela to visit a waterfall. -Up
Kid goes to school for special children, nails his best friend's sister. - Harry Potter
Texas schools closed on Monday 10/20 because of outbreak of Ebola. Check if your school is open at:
Peyton Manning breaking NFL records and I'm sitting here eating ice cream
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian". Well nobody's laughing now.
she wears short skirts i wear t-shirts and we’re both getting sent home from school because its distracting to boys apparently
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JJ Watt stopped at a park to give an impromptu speech because he saw a little league football team practicing
Laughing because I still don't know how to pin these things after 4 years😁 @ Last homecoming�
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JJ Watt: First player in fifty years to have a touchdown reception, a pick six, and a fumble recovery for a TD all in the same season🏈🏈🏈
Houston (hue-sten) (pr. noun) Where it takes you 1.5 hours to get home because exit to 610N is shut down and everyone forgets how to drive
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You can't just shank Obama because he won't pay your Hogwarts bill.
My Brain: *check instagram* *Like photos* *Close app* *hey lets check instagram again* Same photos
lizards shouldn't exist in real life theyre just gross lame snakes with legs #posers
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Today's #TeenChallenge: Scrape an #Obama bumper sticker off a teacher's #car!
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'ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TI-' 'I'm going to slap you'
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'how about you eat a bowl of drop the sass' 😊😊😊😊
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Imagine how terrifying horses would be if they were carnivorous
I watched this like 20 times and I'm still laughing 😂😹
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Me: ngana yaaaaaaaaan Taylor: Ngana kill u if u don't shut up
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me: "wow i need to do homework but first: *eats dinner* *goes on twitter* *checks facebook* *knits a scarf* *does oragimi* me:"oh it's 2am"
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Love people when they're hard to love. It's tough not to be selective with your affection, but know they're the ones who need it the most.
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"I want to go to the place where the kangaroos are" "Where's that? Africa?" ....... oh honey
Senior boys who make fart noises really epitomize the level of maturity I'm forced to deal with
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"that moment when bae texts you while you're on stage"
Retweeted by Andrew Gaskins