Los Alamos sits on fault line; fracking, which causes earthquakes, now done in area. Maybe besides Iran's WMDs we shld worry about our own
Mandela, Mandela, Mandela - jeez, someone needs to take this prick down a peg! And that's my Xmas present to Twitter Trolls - have at it!
Mandella's passing reminds me: Politicians shld never have say in who stays in prison,under any system;parole decisions based on asscovering
Evangelicals love the Jews like the audience in The Capitol loves the Hunger Games contestants
So HealthCare.gov working pretty good after all; and under Republican plan if YOU like giantheaded Uncle Sam probing YOU, YOU can keep him.
working pretty good after all; and under Republican plan if U like giantheaded Uncle Sam probing U, U can keep him
I don't always read cat books, but when I do, I choose Downton Tabby. www.amazon.com/Downton-Tabby-Chris-Kelly/dp/1476765936
I don't always read cat books, but when I do, I choose Downton Tabby. say.ly/wfh7kOW
yikes, ANOTHER Website snafu? I wldn't want to be doing Kathleen Sebelius's job. Whatever it turns out that was. I mean, Happy Thanksgiving!
I know its a little early, but I just can't wait, I'm putting my tree up today! Well, its actually more like a giant plant...
So glad FAA's gonna let us make calls from the plane - now instead of having an annoying 6 hour conversation you can listen to one!
Congrats to @rihanna
for the well deserved Icon award at AMAs and thanks for having me present it to U! Light 'em up!
Presale for @billmaher
at Flint Center @CityofCupertino
CA 2/15 & @marincenter
San Rafael 2/16 rbpconcerts.com
Obama said Clinton was OK in doses. They were together a lot this week. Oy. And next week, they meet again at the annual lighting of Al Gore
I see Ford motor co.has asked #RobFord
not to use their logo anymore on his t shirts. And Coke said "Don't even think about it"
Things that started as jokes went on to huge success: EuroDisney, Hubbel telescope, Spiderman musical...Ronald Reagan. Chin up
Off to new orleans for standup tonight at the Saenger! I don't pop molly, i rock Rob Ford!
If you are a Democrat, the Clintons are a preexisting condition. Quotes from @HBO #RealTime
Nov 15, 2013 bit.ly/I5tUxv
If you are a Democrat, the Clintons are a pre-exiting condition. Quotes from @HBO #RealTime
Nov 15, 2013 bit.ly/I5tUxv
Congratulations to the Republicans for passing the "You Can Keep Your Crappy Plan" Act - what a stunning victory for the barely insured
I c #SarahPalin
thinks we're slaves to China - first off, Americans wld make terrible slaves -half of slave force wld be on slave disability
: Enuf! OK, they fucked up. However, I wld like them to admit that after 400 profiles of opera singers nobody still gives a shit
I see the FDA is going to ban trans fats. Ending Chris Christie's winning streak at one.
In Albany for stand up tonight at the Palace! Driving upstate brought me back to college days... now if i cld only really be 20 again!
Look, they're betting on my head! Last show of year for me at the Palms in Vegas tonight but back next yr!
After having said to so many politicians 'Are you on crack?!' refreshing one can finally say 'Actually, yes, I am'
Heading to Vegas for standup at The Palms this weekend -hoping to ease all our bruised souls over #JonasBrothers
breaking up -damn you Yoko!
Every year they go further and further with the erotic Halloween costumes - I'm no prude, but Sexy Malala?
Congrats to Red Sox - they have fans all over the country. Michele Bachmann loves them cuz she feels camaraderie with people who have beards
Don't miss your chance to see @billmaher
during his last dates of his Vegas residency Nov 2 & 3rd! thepal.ms/BillMaher #palmslv
"Ppl who only listen to FOX can wake up w/ Drudge & have lunch w/ Limbaugh & go to bed w/ O'Reilly" @billmaher on.cnn.com/17vUVVe #pml
"It's going to be a rocky birth but it's not going to fail" @billmaher
. on.cnn.com/1aAWaB2 #pml
The polls favoring pot legalization are so amazing (25% for in the 90s, 58% now!), Obama is thinking of getting the Choom Gang back together
With the cast from Friday's Real Time - and now I'm in Springfield, Mass for standup tonight - i get around! pic.twitter.com/VJJYei4J2f
Its official: women in the Tea Party have replaced Rand Paul with #TedCruz
as the guy they think of when their husband is humping them
Those asshole scout leaders who tipped the rock? I'll just say this: no gay scout leader wld ever do some macho bullshit like that
Looks like some Repub.s are now coming around to dropping the bs and actually working with Obama - or what they call 'the Doomsday Scenario'
Maybe i was hogging it a little... pic.twitter.com/lGptnD6OR0
Some of us were so happy about end of hostage taking it called for an extra long celebration! pic.twitter.com/4XMF8aoYfN
Rep.s: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid from getting a free inhaler
Yikes, study says global warming so bad planet unrecognizable in 2047! On the upside no more winter Olympics
Remember, the govt shutdown isnt bad for all. For example, salmonella is doing great!
But gotta say, California? Just passed 1st law expanding abortion rts since 2006. Cali, our porn stars have to wear condoms but u dont!