, he has some of the funniest and realist tweets I've ever seen!
Hotelscan has launched a student discount program to support traveling youth all around the world. sponsor spnsr.tw/t1Cxki
Netflix has almost every movie.... Except for the ones I actually want to watch!
How come I can't get a mobile reception in my house, yet a terrorist can upload his videos from a cave in Afganistan?
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
The rough neighborhoods in italy are called the spaghetto
"Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view and the b looks like a side view.
I didn't have Beer. Now, I have Beer bit.ly/1fBcPHR
Some people were hit with the ugly stick. You were gang raped by the whole forest!
I almost had a threesome last night. I just needed 2 more people.
The longest five seconds of anyone's life is waiting to press the "Skip Ad" button on YouTube.
Do mermaids smoke seaweed?
Special $0.95 #Veteran
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They met at blackpeoplemeet (dot) com pic.twitter.com/0qkBnjKR9T
Girls stop editing your pics. What if you go missing? How can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook, and Waka Flocka in person.
Bay Area based #Headshot
& Commercial #Photographer @ODLVjr
on all the latest in #photography
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
Almost got anal searched at the airport last week. The security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
How are you feeling today?! pic.twitter.com/VRh7sjukTb
I just learned today that bees have testicles... Guess who doesn't eat Honey Nut Cheerios anymore
Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.
You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating crayons.
What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up.
it's so easy a caveman could do it, if he could logg on.
Some leftover watermelon seeds
When Hugh Hefner dies, will he really be going to a better place?
I'm crying from laughing!..Follow @alicchio
if you're interested in "L'appuntamento" directed by Gianpiero Alicchio - vimeo.com/65308682
Check out @brownetj
for hilarious tweets and vines vine.co/v/hrqVWutdXnK
Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana.
People who bite ice cream scare the shit outta me.
I have a problem... I can't find my coat.... I hope someone didn't jacket.
Special $0.95 #Halloween
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Everyone should follow my good friend @bennylandr
, he's new to twitter
When I sing to you in traffic, enjoy that shit, don't flick me off!
Once you see the site go black you never come back.
Why are we still testing products on animals when we have 46 million beliebers?
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
That awkward moment when you see a vegetarian eating animal crackers.
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep shit out of your eye, but half the time if there's anything in my eye it's a fucking eyelash.
If you don't have an ugly person in your group of friends, it's probably you.
Every time I see "Miley Cyrus" trending, I run a virus scan.
10 Most Over Hyped Movies Of The Next Two Years buzzfeed.com/mediaspree/top… @BuzzFeed
I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff
Guys that try to carry on a conversation while peeing in a public restroom.
If you were a cookie, you'd be a whoreo.
Never Forget.... Locker Combination pic.twitter.com/yAZXxuGTKk
I'm convinced. Some peoples' brains are still on dial-up.
Hit on a girl today, got shutdown faster than the United States Government #govtshutdownpickuplines