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If you’re swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it’s a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun.
AT&T will do anything for new customers. booooing!
What I think when I hear about a new iPhone 6 being released.
Mob baby sends his regards
Russia is suing Ukraine for 1 billion dollars..
The Hood Hammock
Hey guys lets give her one of these tonight... uhhh uhh uhh
Trunk in the junk
Justin Bieber told police in Miami heconsumed alcohol,marijuana,drugs. Or what Toronto mayor Rob Ford calls, a "light Canadian snack."
A message from the U.S. Government regarding the Ice Bucket Challenge.
We Met miley Cyrus today!
how girls take selfies
Boobs are proof that men can focus on two things at once.
Girl you're in shape. Unfortunately that shape is a potato.
I saw a midget carrying a TV to his car today... Me: Hey, You need help with that Plasma? He : Fuck off Asshole, its an iPad!
If you’re not following @TownOfComa
then you don’t know what you’re missing out on! Better than #MargaritaVille
Hey Bunghole @Chevron
, How does it feel waking up in the morning know you destroyed an entire Rainforest?
Life isn't a garden, so don't be a hoe.
Hey Bunghole you don't have to like me... I'm not a Facebook status.
Why is so hard trying to plug in your charger in the dark?
Video games don't make kids violent, lag does.
Make sure you follow @dailypotatonews
for all your #DailyPotatoFact
can make me laugh, I’m sure he can do the same for you! #WorthTheFollow
Shout out to all the people with hearing aids.
When you are about to sneeze run to the mirror and look at your face you make.
! Hilariously brilliant comic!!!
Hey Bunghole you never truly appreciate how nice it is to be able to breathe through your nose until you get a cold
A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wi-fi
, Comedian @JCMelbourneBoy
(FOLLOW HIM) needs his own show - STAT. Love him in youtube.com/watch?v=qAo-QD… #dontyousaythings
You're about as useful as a red light in Grand Theft Auto.
Work servers are down which means I'm done with work for the day! A Ric Flair "wooooo" just happened.
I just want to take you out and show you off.
Considering that Iron Man and Batman’s only real superpower is being super rich and smart, Bill Gates turned out to be a real disappointment
Hey bungholes find out how to turn your PC from a Clunker into a Hot Rod by following these tips. sponsor spon.tw/t1EFnQ
My Korean friend died last week. So Yung.
Never a dull moment on @bragghatesyou
‘s page. Check him out now!
Stay Tuned! @MediocreProgram
iscoming back Tuesday, May 27th! #MediocrityPrincipal
Hey bungholes find out how to turn your PC from a Clunker into a Hot Rod by following these tips sponsor spon.tw/t1EFnQ
When we say "the other day" it can mean any time from yesterday to 364 days ago.
They are like The Onion, but not as funny and stupid-er. Check out @dailypotatonews
, I promise you won’t regret it!!
I've never been skydiving, But I have zoomed-in on Google Earth really fast.
Why does toilet paper even need a commercial? Who is not buying TP for your bunghole?
If ugliness was measured in bricks you would be the great wall of china
Bungholes why do you cry on the last day of school. The right time to cry is the first day of school.
You'll Smile, Laugh & Maybe Even Feel Inspired!
When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon
Bungholes you can earn 5 Figures Online - Larry Wentz Will Pay To Get You Started brought to you by spnsr.tw/t1EnGk
You lost your phone and it's on silent? Too bad. If you liked it you shoulda put a ring on it.
for some funny as hell tweets!
Help put People back to work and check out Gongit. brought to you by spon.tw/t1EkG6