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Ben Nemzer
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Last day at of #FAOSchwarz on 5th avenue. I worked here for 4 years, my first job. Lots of memories.…
I just did the smelliest fart and there's a guy right next to me on the elliptical and nobody else within 30 feet... #gym #fitness #cardio
Patti LuPone confiscated a cell phone at last night’s Shows For Days at @LCTheater #LuPwned
Retweeted by Ben Nemzer
time travel is sooooo last year. and next year.
Retweeted by Ben Nemzer
If you are looking for something fun to do in #NYC, see my 1pm #Magic show today in @bryantparknyc in front of the Carrousel. It's free!
Had a great time at #sammagic convention! Excited to practice some of the new tricks I learned on the @Amtrak ride home.
#sammagic @DO_Magic Congrats to young magician Robert Dorfman on his achievement!
Thanks @SAMMAGICIANS for the rad cuff links. #sammagic
I just experienced some awesome customer service from @Uber. Thanks!
"What should we call this thing in the ocean that is land?" How about island? "Seems too obvious" What if we pronounced it weird "Perfect"
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True #NYC commuters will recognize this #poem Overslept. So tired. If late. Get fired. Why bother? Why the pain? Just go home. Do it again.
I love you in person, I just can't stand you on #Facebook.
Can finally let everyone know that I'll be on this upcoming season of @nbclastcomic - let the nail biting commence!
Retweeted by Ben Nemzer
An exhibit in the Bronx examines well-known photos that have been altered, staged or faked
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So exciting to watch @dalesoules1 in @OITNB! Did you know she was in Doug Henning's The #Magic Show? @OITNBNews #OrangeIsTheNewBlack
"So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon." -- @EmoPhilips #pun #Israel
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it! -Charlie Chaplin
Here's a mean #prank you can do to someone! Surprised to discover this @Howcast video has over 75000 views!! #magic
"I'm not Don Draper." Meet the man behind the '71 Coke jingle that ended "Mad Men"
Retweeted by Ben Nemzer
I think I just saw Ashton Kutcher jog by... Then again, there are an awful lot of people in this town that look just like @ashtonkutcher.
Deck of #cards at @metmuseum Cloisters from 1470AD. This is the King of Game Nooses. #cardistry #nyc #magic #poker
Check out my from college @douamoua's film! Now give him money. #asian #lgbt #trans
Excited to be performing late night at the Weaveny Mansion, in the middle of the woods. Check out my "dressing room."
Performing after a #prom is great. All of the guys were hoping to lose their virginity instead they are seeing a magic show.
#NeverSettleForVerizon UNLESS you love having reception all the time & you think @TMobile is tacky for this smear campaign. @VerizonWireless
This is me trying to outsmart the weight sensor for the mini-bar snacks in the room at the @Bellagio. #LasVegas
Had a WONDERFUL #mothersday at the @metmuseum Cloisters! Well, except for the rudest person I've ever met (Paul Miranda the security guard.)
My 3rd grade #magic student to the class: "You don't know who @tinafey is?! She was the jail-guard in @TheMuppets movie!" Class: "Ohh...!"… Cool article piece my #wedding from a #magic site: featuring the @nytimes article.
Goodnight & goodbye #LasVegas! Last night at the @Bellagio
What an amazing show. Vocals, percussion, cello; @OneRepublic was astounding on all levels. I'm a new fan. #SALT
On my way to #Vegas! Looks like instead of a first class #flight I booked myself in steerage...
I literally have no idea what @DuckDynastyAE is. That's how out of the loop I am. I'm imagining a Chinese themed Duck Tales.

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