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I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. there is no cure.
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How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
Hey @neiltyson, what was the biggest factual inaccuracy of the movie Interstellar?
My roommates think it's funny to take a picture of me when I fall asleep everywhere. I think it's…
Too Many cooks might be nothing short of brilliant. The combination of nostalgia and WTF makes this so fun to watch.…
Do dogs know how cool they look with sunglasses on?
Best book title ever. Very excited to read it! #books
My spirit animal is actually Danny Devito trapped in a playground.
My spirit animal is a Costco sized box of gingerbread Oreos.
Call me crazy, but my bed is more comfortable to sleep in when there's all my laundry on it.
Yellow candy is lemon. Stop making it banana.
#tbt when I met @ruralalberta last week after a super awesome show. #latergram
These guys. The Black Keys!!! megan_alice_ @ Pengrowth Saddledome -
So so excited to see my favourite Canadian band @ruralalberta play tonight! Time to party with @_mismith @hollistonlogan @SmugAnt @jurso14
If you haven't heard Village now has 2 locations! Victoria Park and Britannia Plaza, both open until 10p tonight Villagers!
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You know that girl w/ a Facebook profile pic with a horse and loves horses?Everyone knows horse girl.Why is horse girl always batshit crazy?
I don't think I really know how dimples work.
General Motors, where failure is not an option, it comes standard.
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I'm at the age where an "all-nighter" means I didn't have to get up to pee
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My boy Johnny Gaudreau taking a real number. #13 #nhl @NHLFlames @JohnnyGaudreau
.@KateBeirness Another fantasy hockey season, another chance to win the coveted Beirness Cup!
A five year old told me I look like Tony Stark, so it doesn't matter what anyone says to me for a year, this is the only compliment I need.
The word literally is figuratively used wrong every time.
You know there's something wrong with me when I'm more nervous about my nhl fantasy draft than I was for my LSAT test to get into law school
when books make you cry like fuck you book you?re a stack of paper
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I drank too much coffee today, and now I'm trying to trick my body into thinking it's tired because it's god damn 2:30 in the morning.
Stalked a couple to their car for their parking spot at Costco. They got in their car, and began arguing. I still need a parking spot.
If you're looking for some really good chill songs, I highly recommend @_idlemind. Massive fan of his remixes.
#ff @hollistonlogan because she is my favourite person on Twitter
The new @ruralalberta album #MendedwithGold might be their best yet. Thanks for autographing my record…
Me and sister at #ArcadeFire. Amazing show! #lokihelmet @ Saddledome Calgary Arena
Broken Bells absolutely brought the house down tonight. @micinesmith @ladyvey mojamz100…
Just your average Tuesday. #icing #vacation #lakestuff @ Invermere on the Lake
@woltzy gets Instagram. Harasses his friends until they like all his photos.
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This weekend's impromptu BBQ proved to be a success. Mojitos, beersbie, DQ ice cream cake for no…
The Mayor or L.A is an absolute beauty.
The obvious Grey Poupon commercial.…
Alright George R. R. Martin, hurry the fuck up. Some story lines are now over. #GameOfThrones #GoT
Visual representation of HBO's treatment of A Song of Ice and Fire.
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Tywin Lannister, with the classic dad move, this is why you lock the bathroom door. Happy Father's Day! #GoT #GameOfThrones
C'mon, the ratio of pro soccer players crying in agony to the amount of players who get stretchered off has to be 1 000 000:1 #WorldCup2014
I'm in Chapters. I want to yell out "BOOK FIGHT!" and start hurling books at people.
I just asked a dollar store worker how much liquid she thought their plastic bats can hold. #Batsbie
Baby oil- is it extracted from babies, or do babies harvest from canola fields?
Mayor @nenshi announces that public facilities such as parks and LRT stations to have free WiFi #shawgowifi
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