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Who has 2 thumbs, talks in the third person, and is a pathological pointer? This guy.
The face of every Calgarian upon seeing T-Storm warning. #yyc #abstorm
Oh, I can tip using the Starbucks app now? I'll take care of that later then, outside of the store.
doors open at 7pm, Svak will be opening at 8pm and @monstersandmen
will be hitting the stage after.
I'm enjoying the Korean version of Orange is the New Black on #Sense8 #Netflix
Just once I'd like to do a cool secret handshake with a person I run into on the street, say nothing and walk away.
Best joke from @woltzy
heard this weekend:
Me: When was the last time you got laid?
W: What time is it?
W: hmmm, 3 months ago.
Great weekend with way too many good people. #Repost
hmnhong with repostapp. instagram.com/p/58pSltmt4EHR…
Elevators should have an automatic "this is how you get fat" message for people who try to take the elevator up a single floor.
You lost me when you used the phrase "whole nother thing."
Best thing I've seen all week. I really hope Cesena gets to Foo fight because this was amazing. youtube.com/watch?v=JozAmX…
Listening to Idle Mind - Close by Idle Mind. Great track #np
on #SoundCloud soundcloud.com/mrsuicidesheep…
You can find me in my office parking lot, freebasing coffee beans with a spoon and a lighter. Mornings are difficult
Very excited to see @boburnham
in Calgary in October, and happy that he is now aware that Saskatoon is real.
Just some good tunes to play adult sports to! Playlist on @AppleMusic
Cleaned out a file cabinet at work that for some reason was covered in glitter. My hands look like I just choked a stripper.
A tornado warning with golf ball sized hail, followed by immediate sunshine like nothing ever happened. Typical Calgary.
Tornado warning in Calgary! Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, save me. #yyc
App idea: Backseat Driver. Tells you when you're in the slow lane, asks you frequently if you're lost, and it's in your moms voice.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is surprisingly awesome. No fergie and more lyrics than their last 3 albums combined. youtu.be/ElbL_MixCls
He might be a dick, but that doesn't exclude him from being passionate about his music or performing his heart out. Stop crying Toronto.
People can't differentiate between Kanye West the celebrity and Kanye West the artist. Ye would bring the house down at the Pan Am games.
why are unicorns not called unihorns ?
My current diet plan: I use the term "nuke it to oblivion" on questionable leftovers.
Don't act like squids aren't aliens and giant squids aren't at the bottom of the ocean plotting their revenge on us for eating calamari.
Coworker: "How was your weekend?"
Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."
Man in wig fights off British enemy for control of his home - history of our country / plot of Mrs. Doubtfire
Happy Nelson Mandela day otherwise known as the day people post a picture of Morgan Freeman thinking that it's Nelson Mandela.
Instead of signing my emails with
I'd like to start signing my emails to people who annoy me with
Finished brushing my teeth manually before remembering that I was using an electric toothbrush. How's your morning going?
I think one of the most ironic things ever is that the word ironic is constantly used wrong.
I went out to get a salad for lunch and got soaked by a flash rain storm on my way back. Lesson learned: don't eat salad.
Was in the presence of a true legend last night with @hollistonlogan
.The one and only Stevie Wonder.… instagram.com/p/5FFwdSmt1p/
Important question: why are they called piggyback rides when pigs are seldom ridden.
Ok Calgary.... Here I come!!!! Prepare your livers!!!!
Yolkin it up with the nhlflames brass. Joe Colborne in the house! instagram.com/p/45wP3KGt-8/
is my spirit animal. #havingawedding #bryck
Amazing job setting up the social media presence for the #havingawedding @bryckweddingMC #bryck
Happy Canada Day! Chased down an ice cream truck for the first time in 20 years! instagram.com/p/4nES5GGt01/
I call this piece: "The many faces of @bawahong
enjoying his breakfast". #invermere instagram.com/p/4jbNeLloKH/
Monahan, Bennett, Gaudreau, Brodie and Hamilton all 25 or under. That's how you build a team.
Hamilton extension in Calgary likely not an issue given the history of agent JP Barry and the Flames.
BREAKING: The Calgary Flames have acquired D Dougie Hamilton from the Boston Bruins
I love dinosaurs, and action movies but the plot of Jurassic World made no sense. They never explained why the big dinosaur was so smart...
Bride surprise party success! Brynn will never say no to a Starbucks run/ work distraction. 🎉🎊🎊instagram.com/p/4XIs8zmtzr/
Hi, the weather is always bad on Wednesday when I have ultimate Frisbee. Can you use meteorological wizardry to fix that?
George R. R. Martin should pull a Beyoncé and drop Winds of Winter tomorrow. Seriously, I need more now. #GameofThrones #GameofThronesFinale
! I'm awake! How long have I been asleep? #Lifeonacomet