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Funny Tweets

3,967,130 followers
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My Valentine is me and I am happy
  6h
How it feels spending money on food
'Pick it up.' "I picked it up last time." 'It was your idea to have it.' "fuck off."
I just realized that all my friends are askholes
When someone asks if I like pizza
my reaction to everything
who wants to join my club
who wants to join my club
my tolerance in 2016
when ur mom is yelling at u to do more chores while ur already doing chores and ur there like
what are you wearing tomorrow
When you're striving to be consistently positive but people and life always trying u
THE ACCURACY IS REAL
When you spill your soup
Me when I'm proving a point
 




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