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sarcasm

that on friend who turns into a philosopher when they're high
"what you look like shouldn't matter, It's what's on the inside" me:
whenever someone asks me why i never go out or leave the house. me:
me acting shocked when my poor decisions lead to negative outcomes
"i'm sticking with beer tonight nothing crazy" 4 hours later:
me watching my phone ring till i miss the call
me after completing a minor task
when your boss thanks u for staying late to work but u were just looking at memes and lost track of time
This is accurate
when you wave the sheets looking for the remote control and that bitch fly across the room
when you're anxious but trying to act cool
when you're given all the tools to succeed in life but you are too dumb to use them
when all ur friends are talking about all the jobs they applied for online and u just finished a survey to find out what type of bread u are
when you drop your lollipop on the carpet and pick it back up
when you broke so you have to go to sleep for dinner
Really, I do😳D
me: *spends hours with my favorite person* me as soon as they leave:
when your mom picked you out a new outfit and keeps telling you how handsome you look in it
why is this so funny to me 😂�33
when you're about to unfollow someone you've been following since day 1
when you send a video to your friends at 4:20 and they respond with the "LMAOOO" at 4:21 but the video 3 minutes long
Me when i get paid: Don't you dare spend any of this pay check on food. Me the next day:
open for a surprise
 
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