My friend just sent me this. Laughing so hard that I am crying. rats-funnybone.com/25-funny-auto-…
neat magic trick.
Yes, they were my underwear. Apparently, they got stuck in the leg when I washed them. It was a clean ball of underwear at my ankle. HA!
I say "in a con" because I was walking through the middle of the convention floor when this all took place.
I am my own worst nightmare.
In a con in summer, half way thru the day I noticed a lump at the ankle of my skinny jeans. I reached in & pulled out a pair of underwear.
Thank you for entertaining me with your 140 character stories. They're all SO awesome. I will leave you with one more horror story of my own
This is seriously the best entertainment. Your stories are KILLING me. Also, Vicodin and Flexeril are AMAZING. WOO!
I'm first grade I was trying to imitate Sylvester the cat and said "sufferin' fuckatash", got ratted out by a classmate.
I jumped out of the chair and tried to walk out of the room all dignified but slammed the side of my face into the door frame.
I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 16. It was the 1st time being sedated. I woke up & was embarrassed I fell asleep in front of the nurse.
I cannot stop laughing at this “@KevinInChains
Haven't thrown up since 1989.”
Adults falling is my kryptonite. It is always funny because they're so out of control trying not to fall. ALWAYS FUNNY.
OH GOD. HAHA! “@rzochoa
I once slipped and fell on ice in my driveway and slid all the way under the car.”
: One time a Canada goose hit the power lines going to my parents house, rolled off the roof and landed on my dog's head.”
Once, I dropped a piece of plastic down into the cigarette lighter in my car and I used the key to lift it out. ZAP.
: One time, my cat fell asleep on a chair arm, fell off the chair arm, bounced off a yoga ball, and into a trash can.”
Yes, I know I should be icing my back but it's too cold and I'm a wimp. LESS MEDICAL ADVICE MORE FUNNY STORIES.
Holy hell your 140 character stories are hilarious. This is awesome.
Anyone got any good stories to share in 140 characters? I'm bored.
I spazzed out my back and have been laying on heating pads while doped up on Vicodin and muscle relaxers for 2 hours. Seriously annoying.
OH GOD. HA! "@laurel_lee
: Wonder if this autocorrect fail has something to do w/@AnneWheaton
influence. #VandalEyes pic.twitter.com/pNn3SnZUZd
: This tree is surprised when people approach it pic.twitter.com/goXz4TOZkI
best I could do with the available letters. pic.twitter.com/oN6MQfCoVt
I had to be quick during crazy amounts of people around. pic.twitter.com/VcXc2dBY3X
Good morning, BEST breakfast of the ENTIRE year. pic.twitter.com/w6b8tkjvUW
I am ALL about bargains. Wil teases me because I love me a good deal, but I still find great deals a week or two after Thanksgiving.
I've never understood having a day to be thankful for what we have immediately followed by a day of scrambling to get more.
We do not participate in Black Friday shopping, but if you do, please be kind, courteous and patient to the store employees working today!
: I really appreciate your starting this whole spelling w/stockings in Target thing, so...
I really wanted to see the Punkin Chunkin in person this year but couldn't make it. NEXT YEAR. MARK MY WORDS.
I guess I should clarify that I'm not actually chunkin punkins in my house. I'm watching it on Discovery and it is MAGNIFICENT.
AIR CANNON PUNKIN CHUNKIN!
TREBUCHET PUNKIN CHUNKIN!!!!
If you enjoy the fire in food like I do, I also enjoy a SHIT TON of wasabi in deviled eggs. Fire in the hole! *kaboom*
I prefer the cream horseradish to the regular but you do what you want because they're YOUR POTATOES NOW BABY.
You don't have to follow the SHIT TON portion of the adding horseradish to the mashed potatoes. I guess just add to your liking but MIX WELL
Horseradish mashed potatoes-boil red potatoes (leave skin on), drain,mash,little bit of butter,milk,salt,pepper & a SHIT TON of horseradish.
Hello, horseradish mashed potatoes. Oh, how I've missed you.
As you can tell, I've been VERY busy today.
There are lots of things that come out during the holidays that are toxic to pets. I just named one on account of 140 character limit. :-)
If you're a pet owner & you're decorating for Xmas, please skip mistletoe. It's toxic to dogs & cats if a leaf or berry falls & they eat it!
I think everyone is covered now. Unless it's your birthday, then Happy Birthday! *blows up balloons, twists them into shape of a dog*
Happy Hanukkah to the tweety buddies that are celebrating it! To everyone else, yaaaay Thanksgiving or yaaaay Thursday!
Happy Thanksgiving, tweety buddies that are celebrating it! For everyone else, yaaaaay Thursday! *throws confetti*
My house smells like pumpkin pie. Sweet, charred, smoke- filled oven pumpkin pie.
HA! @ada_1983 @rickygervais
As much as I love this response, this one is more my style. pic.twitter.com/u7hiYqlcue
Happy birthday, @KarenGillan2
. You're the only person @wilw
was ever mad at me for meeting before he did. Woops. pic.twitter.com/W4TBNpyn0s
Tried for "eat brains" but didn't have enough letters :( pic.twitter.com/WKvbcALo6X