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Alan Felyk
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.@web_supergirl About 50% complete. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am with the results so far. It's just a joy to work on it.
Thanks @AlanFelyk @JennyShellby @CKGallimore for being top engaged members in my community this week (insight by
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Look for people who you would want to sit next to you during a 12-hour plane flight. Those are the people you want to follow on Twitter.
.@web_supergirl *Pulls up a chair* I have nothing but time, dear. Hahaha.
He never struck her like one of the smartest men she had ever met. He always left a mark and got arrested.
As a writer, your job is to never state the obvious. Like “I #amtweeting.” #amwriting
A group of flamingos is called a ‘flamboyance.” All right. I’m flipping the bird to the person who came up with that.
In addition to Fritos on my pizza, I like to add a heap of sadness and regret.
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Moms love to blame our post-baby belly pooch on our children, when we all know it's really from all the wine.
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Loving someone means never killing them even if you hear demon voices telling you "It must be done."
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The price of chipotle guac has risen more than minimum wage these last few years
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The reason it looks like I’m overtweeting? Might have something to do with the fact that you only have two other followers, who are mimes.
It should be a crime to look this good, especially since I stole this jacket.
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If you have armhair curtains I'm gonna have to say no.
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A room with an outlet for my charger is always preferable to a room with a view.
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Listen to your gut. Unless it's telling you to Super Size your meal.
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Let me rub my face on the wart on your back, so I know it's real.
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My biggest regret is that I wish I had Twitter when I was with my ex so I could have neglected him more often.
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Serial killers probably pick women like a magician picks an assistant from a crowd: the one that looks like she’s ready to be sawed in half.
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
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Current status: No less than 90% denial
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I could really fix this world if I could create characters in real life like I can in fiction. #amwriting
Women have described me as hot, but only when temperatures have hit 100 degrees.
“Subtweeting” sounds so gentle. Just call it for what it is: “Fuck off and you know who you are.”
It’s easy to get a woman into your bed. Find one that’s hitchhiking, and let her climb into the back of your pickup truck.
.@drmani Thanks so much for the kind words.
2 nice books I read recently. #1: 'Damaged Right Out of the Box' by @AlanFelyk -…
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Are my ideas better when I look up and to the left or up and to the right?
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I’m living proof that anybody can do it. Especially if “it” remains largely undefined. #amwriting
If Buffalo can survive 84 inches of snow, I can survive 2 inches of dust on my furniture.
I am literally driving in serial killer country. Where there is no place to pee.
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Just wondering about the reason that ships are referred to as females. Is it because the captain is expected to go down on her?
One question about the afterlife: Is there going to be a lot of stairs?
All this darkness and cold makes me want to hunt wild cattle, slay them and eat it all by a raging fire in the woods. Basically insane.
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Don't you just hate it when someone expects you to have a plan?
A fiction writer never has to ask “can I quote you on that?” #amwriting
This tweet would sound far more soothing if Morgan Freeman read it aloud. #TBTTweet
Let’s reveal the winners . . . Whenever I hear that phrase, I always hope it’s a wet T-shirt contest. #TBTTweet
I don’t lie… unless it’s to children
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