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Started in 2009
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Arsalan Asif

"@toriilewis: I hate having an itch under my bun." Bum*
I knew you were trouble when you...
I've been told that #GoodFriday is the day when #Jesus died. Now how is that "good" again?
Walk into the club like wuddup I got a big sloth
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
"Yo is that @angelabainn ? Who's she with?" "Uh..2 people"
Drunk guy at Don Mills Square: talks to us thinking we're his friends, oh fuck you're in high school, walks Me: Run! The Messiah are coming!
Is Nelly Furtado retarded?
Happy Easter everyone!!!
A promising job offer, stocks, and a trust fund. What more is there to wait for for my 18th birthday?
@VosInterficiam This is certainly something we love to hear :) Pls keep us in mind if you ever need any help with your banking. Cheers! ^AB
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
ScotiaBank is the best!
#StandGrandContest Idk what this is, but if I enter, will I actually have to stand? #ArthritisProblems
"@autocorrects: Pretending to be a nice person all day is exhausting." Ikr People need to stop trying to suck my dick so much #ShadyProblems
OMG YOU HAVE THIS MANY FOLLOWERS, THEY MUST BE FAKE!!! Twitter is like a more retarded version of high school. #HighSchoolProblems #Twitter
Time to go for a run..stupid rain...#ParkourProblems
SnapChat me "roguezz" hopefully that's the right username hahaha
Honestly, I'm not even on drugs. I'm just weird.
Jay Walked right front of the cops #LikeABoss
That moment when you finish writing a tweet and you have 0 characters left. #Y0L0, not #YOLO
"@autocorrects: I hate when my parents ask who I'm texting." Yo, this tweet ain't funny. If I wanted a non funny tweet, I'd tweet it myself.
"@CommonWhiteGrl: but mom beyoncé doesn't clean her room"
I wonder if any of my followers are ever watching...
To tweet or not to tweet, that is not the question. Mainly because there is no question mark on it.
Interesting how fast you lose followers on Twitter once you stop tweeting.
On average, there are seven people in the world that look similar to you. I would like to meet these people and apologize.
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
A hawk is a bird that eats rabbits, but it is also a bird that inspires men to smell like a hawk-inspired body product.
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
Gonna go for a run before Get cheesed again. Stupid bitches messaging me 2 years later asking stupid shit...:/ #BitchyProblems
I trust people so easily, and always get screwed over in the end
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
Yo, why we're there a bunch of Paki people surrounded by the cops at Marc Garnau?
@sophiiaxo_ It gets easier Sophia don't stress over the little things baby it's not worth it
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
We Came. We Raved. We Love. We Thank You. Goodnight.
Retweeted by Shady Arsalan
I hate people who retweet 20 things a minute...#RetweetProblems
Wait, what? My Chemical Romance is done? God damn it...#SadTweet #MyChemicalRomance
I'm so freaking bored...
If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a bitch-a-whoreous.
The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. #TrustProblems #PoliticalProblems
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. #WifeProblems #MarriageProblems
I think I'll go to pizza pizza.
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