Elizabeth Windsor (parody)

All Photos Twitter.com 15 hours ago
A-level results are in. Boris Johnson was ungraded in health and social care.
Surprised to see #Fra at the #ClosingCeremony. One didn’t think they were competing this year. #Tokyo2020
Kier Starmer on the phone. Bit upset that no one has noticed he’s self isolating. Bit awkward.
Matt Hancock on the phone. Relieved to no longer be the most recent Englishman to have scored. #ENG
Prince Edward is ridiculously excited about #LoveIsland. Matt Hancock’s recoupling has set a high bar.
Matt Hancock on the phone. Says he’s resigning to spend more time with someone else’s family.
Matt Hancock on the phone. Says he was just testing his tastebuds.
Text from Nicola Sturgeon: “looks like Scotland is leaving Europe against our will again!” Awkward. #SCO
One’s coming up so you’d better get this party started. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-573296…
Stand down RAF. France didn’t win. #Eurovision
Text from Angela Merkel: “3 bloody points?! I’m paying for this shit!” #Eurovision
Text from President Macron: “Oh please God, I hope we don’t win this. I can’t afford to host it next year!” #Eurovision
Twelve points to France?! Get Amanda Holden on the sodding phone! #Eurovision
It’s quite nice to watch a programme that Prince Harry isn’t on. #Eurovision
Prince Edward has the Ukraine number on speed dial #Eurovision
Have him wrapped and sent to the Duchess of Cornwall. #Eurovision
Prince Andrew is on the phone to Mr Johnson asking if we have a trade deal with Azerbaijan and if there are import taxes on that group. #Eurovision
Singing in French. Very self conscious. #Eurovision
Prince Edward love this. He’s got that green feather jacket as well. #Eurovision
Lithuania clearly has some fairly deep rooted social issues. #Eurovision
The only thing that would improve this is Brian May. #Eurovision
What’s the number to vote for Finland? #Eurovision
Text from Angela Merkel: “Well that was the most awkward thing that’s happened since WWII.” #Eurovision
Is Moldova a real country or is it made up just for #Eurovision ?
Text from the King of Spain: “Sorry”. #Eurovision
The DoE was fascinated by Switzerland. Couldn’t understand how their army could fight with those little knives. #Eurovision
FYI Jimmy Boy, if you don’t make the top five, you’ll be required to self isolate until the end of recorded time. #Eurovision
No, Andrew, Serbia is on the red list. #Eurovision
Do they not have colour TV in Portugal? #Eurovision
Things are obviously very difficult in Russia. #Eurovision
Text from Rishi Sunak: “This could be Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome. LOLZ!” #Eurovision
One is watching #Eurovision One’s annual reminder of how exceptionally odd our over the Channel neighbours are.
Hello! My name is Tony, I was stolen from my home 7 days ago 💔 Please everyone keep looking for me all over the country. I need to be found as I really want to go home. I have distinctive markings making me easily recognisable. PLS RT and#GetTonyHomee#TooHotToHandlee#dogthefttA
Retweeted by Elizabeth Windsor (parody)
Kier Starmer on the phone. Bit upset. Says he’s sorry he once boasted about wanting to abolish One and he knows how it feels now the electorate want to abolish him.
Get your hand in your pocket, Lineker. You owe one £5m.
No, Meghan, one does not have Bill Gates’ mobile number.
Keir Starmer on the phone. Bit upset. He’s apparently the only person David Cameron didn’t call to lobby for Greensill. #Greensill
TBH one didn’t answer Mr Cameron’s calls when he was prime minister and one certainly doesn’t now.
This is why one never gives politicians one’s mobile number. #Greensill
Twiends™ uses the Twitter™ API, displays it's logo & trademarks, and is not endorsed or certified by them. These items remain the property of Twitter. We do not sell followers, we only provide display advertising. Bots & fake accounts are not permitted on twiends. © 2009
Grow Your Twitter Free
Want To Grow Your Twitter?
We help other people find and follow you on Twitter.
Key Info:
Started in 2009
Over 6 million signups
Country targeting provided
We never auto tweet to your timeline
We never auto follow others
We actively moderate our community
Please Share
Please upgrade your browser  chrome