Admiral Lex 🛳⚓️⛵️

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This #HunterBiden video just reminds me I could never be a crack addict or crack dealer. I would spill the little crack bits everywhere.…
Today I spoke to my 5-year old daughter and reassured her, you know that light green building down the block that says "Health Center" with the mural of happy kids with balloons on the outside? It's an abortion clinic and it's open seven days a week. You will never go without.
Forgotten fact: in 1994, the Bill Clinton fired Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders for publicly stating that schoolchildren "perhaps should be taught" to masturbate. See 2022 for how far we've come.
The internal elevation of #PeteButtigieg isn't because that boyish dope suddenly discovered how to run a Transportation department. The (D) powers are clearly realizing they need somebody new to run for the top slot as the current heads are sinking.
The #BritneyGriner and #LeBronJames comp thing is so stupid. Yes, they both play basketball. Do you think if the last guy on the Sacramento Kings bench was locked up in Russia we'd go balls to the wall to get him back?
#AnneFrank wore braids. I think you know what I'm saying.
The new #BritneyGriner sympathy meme is because she only makes $225,000 per season in the WNBA, she had to take on a second job in a dangerous foreign nation. You know, like most people who make ONLY $225,000 and have to be overnight clerks at the 7-Eleven to make rent.… Maybe gender really is just a false Matrix construct and not innate... then you read stories like this.
There should've been a movie comic universe for Underdog.
So, if #ElonMusk can afford to buy Twitter, he can afford to take care of the poor people in your city you're letting rot on the streets. And if Elon Musk doesn't buy Twitter, he can afford to do the same. That's some logic tree.
#FeliciaSonmez reporting that #ShinzoAbe once peed on the toilet seat in 2nd grade. So please balance your thoughts on this day.… "When she discovered that Hunter had been engaged in an affair with Beau’s widow Hallie, it was the final straw." Wives are funny like that. Crack, booze, strippers, debt -- ok. Banging your dead brother's wife -- we need to talk.
Whatever ire or rage you saw from political protestors of the past few years is going to pale in comparison to the pussy hat wearing pro abortion women. Maybe less stores will burn literally, but the fire is going to be unparalleled. And I say this as a pro choice person.
You can experience content again for a first time through the eyes of your children. Like today I was belting out Funky Cold Medina and my daughter said, holy crap, are you singing a song about date rape? And I was like, no, um, yes. Who knew.
The biomarker for #LongCovid may have been discovered. Here's what it looks like under a microscope.
America is now largely run by the world's most annoying HOA.… If you want to feel bad for #JoeBiden about anything, through all his sleepiness and destruction, understand he has to take phone calls from Debra Messing, et. al. and assuage their Brentwood estate rants. Hell.
So, Twitter is going to continue to be the same as it was for the foreseeable future. A social platform with a TOS it uses to shield its entirely subjective, private corporate decisions on what's best for the world. Still free.
#ShinzoAbe was on my Top 5 list of All-Time Best Japanese PMs.
James Caan, Shinzo Abe, and… I’m hiding under my blanket.
People still rant on Facebook. It’s adorable.
If Robert Crimo had deadnamed Ellen Page he would’ve been flagged and stopped.
The asking price for #JimmyG is now two gallons of regular unleaded and a JUUL vape. Which for the record isn't a nothing in California.
Coming off #PrideMonth where we celebrate the brave men and women who get hot for the same sex, it's tough to get much feels for #DisabilityPrideMonth and people who only have to face the tiny hurdles of walking, breathing, seeing, hearing, and being largely ignored by society.
#TheBaby on HBO Max is not stellar, but it's impossible not to give credit to whoever got a show made about a smiling, adorable baby who gruesomely murders innocent people with his mind.
#Transgenderism is what happens when your shrink is too lazy to tell you what's really wrong with you.
Thief is probably my favorite #JamesCaan role if I had to pick one. Godfather is likely how he'll be most remembered, but Thief really set off the 80's with Caan, Michael Mann and Tangerine Dream music.
Is there a reason why the @JoeBiden social account is pumping out tons and tons of self-validating Tweets right now? Did he die like a month ago? Would anybody know?
See so much of this now, a charitable group hit me up to help "empower women and non-binary entrepreneurs". So, it's a charity to help women entrepreneurs. And also men entrepreneurs if they check off they are non-binary. That's not an actual focus. Macy Gray gets it.
Since I was a kid I always thought it was such an easy idea for everybody to just leave everybody else TF alone. But it turns out that was to be an impossible pipe dream for humanity.
I kind of feel bad for even obnoxious celebrities like @robreiner spending their golden years in fits of rage over hyper partisan politics. They could be living on cool islands, fishing, spending time with family, but instead have a bottomless political rage demon that owns them.… We absolutely do not want to start suspiciously tracking every teen misfit with psychological issues.... until they start posting obsessive death and destructions communiques, threaten to kill their families, and start buying weapons. Then, yeah.
The deeper #JoeBiden sinks in the polls, the more his staff puts out aggressive Tweets for him and sticks him on bicycles. When he hits 20% favorability, he'll be posting nasty memes and be strapped to a skateboard and pushed into an empty pool.
Pro-tip on spotting the young man at your school or in your town most likely to commit a mass shooting -- it's the guy everybody knows is the craziest, most dangerous, troubled, gun-owning, law enforcement run-in, pariah posting endless murder thoughts on social media. Him.
#GavinNewsom handlers know #RonDeSantis is a GOP presidential frontrunner. So you try to become his man "rival" by running attack ads in his state and elevate your profile being the anti-RDS. This is like lower boxers talking crap about higher ranked fighters hoping for a beef.
Hollywood women, you're being schooled on standing up for women's rights by Macy Gray and Bette Midler. Would not have picked those two, but there you are.
I will admit, I was only so-so about gay people until this deluge of corporate avatars with rainbow flag overlays. Now, love them. I just told my kids to be gay or leave the house. That's how serious I got. Thank you, #Pride.
How does #JoeBiden approval numbers change daily? Who are the people on Monday who are like, that geezer is doing a shitty job and destroying this country and on Wednesday are like, oh look, Biden on a bike. Seems like he's going a good job.…
Generally, I don't support recall movements, wait for the next election. But when candidates overtly lie during campaigns on massive issues and do the big switcheroo once in office, that's not just doing a poor job in office, that's outright fraud. #RecallChesa #RecallGascon… I mean, cutting off your perfectly healthy breasts seems like an overreaction, but everybody responds to wardrobe decisions in different ways.… I don't get people who think #JohnnyDepp came out golden from this trial. He came out looking like a painfully broken and spoiled drug addict indulged because of his money and fame. If he wasn't born handsome, he'd be beneath an overpass tonight.
I had the like and dislike thumbs on Twitter for one glorious ten minute stretch.
Day 2 of #PrideMonth and I'm fresh out of gift ideas. Time for the corporations to step in with some rainbow commercials.
Every fad diet has one weird thing the person is able to eat that seems totally unreasonable. Your friend will say, I'm on so and so diet so I can only eat broccoli stems, ultra lean proteins, dried acorns, and hot fudge sundaes.
My mustache is rainbow colored this month in ally ship of those oppressed in this nation for loving super hot people of the same gender.
The conversations you have with a person of color in HR/company hiring about "diversity" is SO different than what you experience when talking to a white college educated women who runs the DEI-function at a company. One is borne of of grounded experience and deserves attention.… Is there really a good way to find out your husband is banging his deceased brother's widow?
I didn't know (or care) much about #JohnnyDepp before this long civil trial. Now that I do, I think far less of him than my superficial celebrity understanding of him. Who exactly is he speaking of when he says he got his reputation back? Who that disliked him now likes him?
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