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Still no over the fact I heard a parrot sing Rihanna Yesterday man hahahahahahaha
Retweeted by marni
good luck trying to get a text back during the love island final
if you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back if you pull it off again, the lizard will be like "dude."
when your crush walks past:
sunday bunday
the best way to a girls heart is punching through her rib cage i heard some shit like this is illegal but don't let it stop you
when you have a nice hat and someone mentions it and you feel nice
felt cute might delete soon
hi this is stomp dog stomp dog is here to stomp away sadness
did you know smoking is actually good for the planet, as it kills human beings
i want this cat
my dad just came up to me and said "that song is funny isn't it, came in a black...merc? left in a white van" 😑😩😂 fuck sake man really
it was 34 earlier and i saw a man pulling his dog on a lead as he rode his bike forcing the dog to run, it broke my heart ☹️
when the fan is just blowing warm air at you
it's so warm today that nans are wearing only one coat
shoutout to everyone avoiding the sun rn cos same
have you ever had to restart a song because you spaced out and weren’t appreciating it enough
What Redbone would sound like if it was Schwifty
Retweeted by marni
did your mouth instantly water itself when you saw this peeled watermelon yeah me too
omg tom & jerry is now in 4K ultra hd
when i say something rude & inappropriate
does anyone else have the most vulgar mood swings when they're hungry or is just me
i think this coke can voted conservative
just gave that show love island a chance ngl i kinda enjoyed it but it's definitely absolute shit, & that chris is a penis not a polar bear
"She's bringing the bloody DUP, Philip."
Retweeted by marni
for the record i don't hate anyone who is conservative, i simply do not believe theresa may is a strong enough leader for this country
a friendly reminder that you are a dickhead if you vote conservative today
remember when you used to hear "what did the fox say" everyday? that was not a good period in time
hahahahahaha what
when the tv remote isn't working
me: *eats big meal* me: i'm so full me: *15 mins later*
you know there's people out there who don't brush their teeth before they go bed and those people are called fucking animals
me: *spends £5* me:
dolphins are so majestic
"well, fuck" - my reaction to everything
i wonder what it's like to know what the fuck is going on
romeo: u got snapchat?
i just want to be rich so i can do things like this all the time
don't feel bad for making the right decisions that upset other people
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