Someone run me over I'll give you 10$ for gas
Me: Aw he's really sweet I think he likes me
Me to me: Call him bro
"PROMISCUOUS GIRL YOU'RE TEASING ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I GOT WHAT YOU NEED
PROMISCUOUS BOY LET'S GET TO THE POINT"
Can we just take a minute to appreciate this.
body type: not terrible but definitely enjoys pasta
Doctor: "you've been in a coma since 2008"
Patient: hOW dID ii EnD Up iiN ah CoMA.? z( ._.)z
leaving a friend's house the next day
y'all this milk expires the same day america does
who wants to run me over? i'll give you gas money
2 reasons why im fat
1) i eat when I'm bored
2) im always bored
actually all of my systems are nervous
college is weird because sometimes you forget to eat and other times you accidentally eat 2 dinners
Me: I'm not spending no more money on food
My friends: You wanna go get some food?
when someone responds "huh" to a complete sentence, a sentence that has no grammatical errors or dependent clauses
that moment inbetween netflix episodes when you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what you are doing with your life
just imagine being Thomas Rhett's wife & knowing Die a Happy Man was written just for u... what a life
Sometimes I can't help but throw up the peace sign when someone's taking a photo of me, i hate myself for it but it's an initial reaction
The day that you stop lookin’ back, you’re gonna find that the future sure beats the hell out of the past. -Thomas Rhett
me: I need to save money and get more hours at work
work: you can go home early if u wa-
when you're having a nice conversation and suddenly they ask about your ex
Be careful who you call ugly in middle school
"I know we're supposed to trust Gods plan and all but sometimes it would be nice to know what the hell is going on" - Norman Bates 😂👌🏿