Kenyan Memes π°πͺ
82,157 followers
Abdul Noormohamed 
Jiwa Pejuang 
wendyhalo 
The fact that I'll have to dance at my own wedding worries me everyday. Does it worry you?
People with iphone 13 pro max think and walk like they can download lives.
Whoever is saying that bahati has no qualities to be the leader of mathare i want to tell you that you're absolutely right
Felicity #andrewkibe
Retweeted by Kenyan Memes π°πͺ In college you watch your friend take the first sip of the cocktail you made knowing damn well it contains 99% alcohol and 1% juice.
I hate when people say "it's a Quarter till" man what time is it. Stop wasting time with extra mathematics.
Bills should be due every 90 days, every 30 is abit urgent and dramatic.
God please help me because I was also going to help you if I was God.
There are some people who don't know their Height, Weight, Blood group/Genotype.
They are just living their life.
You text me on WhatsApp using disappearing message, I take screenshot(s). Message vanishes, evidence remains.
Mikoras must fall!
For those struggling with English, let me help you.
Don't - do not
Won't - wo not
Kenyan families say their goodbyes then stand around talking for 30-45 more minutes.
Mumeharibu kiswahili hadi mtu haezi sema 'naenda soko' kwa amani
Umeingia KMTC Jana na leo ushapiga picha na zile earphones za madaktari na caption ya "when duty calls" duty gani Wangari?
If you've never faced the wrath of a woman who loves cooking, pikia sufuria ya chai ugali.
The cost of fuel has gone up again. It will continue going up after 9-8-2022 if you elect same people again. The choice is yours.
#WajackoyaThe5th
Retweeted by Kenyan Memes π°πͺ Hizi degree tumeacha tu kwa nyumba ndio zinapea politicians shida hivyo?
Siku hizi Tumbo Imekuwa Kama WhatsApp;
Chapati: Last Seen 3rd May 2022.
Nyama: Last Seen 1st Jan 2022.
Chicken: Removed You!.
Chips: Blocked You.
Sukuma Wiki: Typing...
Ugali: Online.
Omena: Added You.
Ukishatuma fare be patient,sio Kila saa ushatoka? Unakam? Umefika wapi? Kwanini hushiki simu nakupigia uniambie unataka Nini nkupikie? Jam iko aje Leo na kazalika..
Be like a luo,"Nisatuma" Full stop.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The stables have turned.
I GOT CALLED "PRETTY" TODAY! Well, actually the full statement was 'you're pretty annoying', but I only focus on positive things.
Kama unaitwa Agness na tulikunywa na wewe jana hapa Tao ukujie documents zako, me sifanyi kwa county nilikua nimelewa.
Unahug dame wa SDA alafu akifika home anakutext "Aki today we took it too far"
Kisii word of the day "Patricia".
In a sentence: "Utani patricia gas na pesa gapi?"
Wale watu hubeba packed lunch na wanaikula exactly at Lunch time huwa nawaogopa sana.
After husband ametoka kwa bafu.
Wife: Safaricom wamesema wanatoa mimba yako.
I was just talking to a lady today. She asked if I was fork lift certifiedβ¦sadly, I said βnoβ¦no Iβm not fork lift certifiedβ She walked away.
Marriage is beautiful. I lost an argument this morning. That I didn't know I was involved in.
Kichungi ni STRAINER, sio sieve. Sieve is for separating solids, kama ile ya mahindi kwa posho mill
πββοΈππββοΈ
Donate one kidney and you are a hero.
Donate ten kidneys and you are suddenly under investigation.
Hii Mwaka Ikianza Nilikua natumia Elianto Cooking Oil. Saa hii Mafuta ya Kupika iko kwa Chupa ya Dasani.
Mwenye alitufunza maganda ya pineapple ikae siku saba kwa maji na asali asante sana kamnyweso kako sawa. Ka mzinga kameiva.
Be warned I don't work for Keroche Breweries.
Mimi hua napost vitu vinavyo nipa furaha naweza hata kumpost mpenzi wako akiwa na mpenzi wake.
Lakini hii Kenya yetu...
Unaorder food inaletwa na baiskeli. Inabidi umekula na rider apate nguvu ya kurudi.
I admire those people who serve tasteless food with a lot of confidence.
Imagine meeting your crush and then finding out they stand up as soon as the plane lands.
Before you kill that mosquito, think about his family. What if he is an only son and a final year student at uniquito?
Even if you say you are strong, there was that one relationship that almost caused you stroke.
If he's older than 25 and he's not saying anything about marriage, dump him. Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve.
If you need money or any financial help, feel free to text me. We will beg together.
@kenyanmemes
*Kulingana na utafiti wangu*
1: Huezi hesabu nywele zako
2: Huezi ona maskio yako
3: huezi pumua ulimi ikiwa nje
5: Najua umejaribu namba 3
6: najua umecheka hadi ukasahau
namba 4
7: ona sasa umerudi kuconfirm
ππππ₯π₯π₯π₯
Retweeted by Kenyan Memes π°πͺ The day I decided to start minding my own business was when I saw a guy drinking beer at 7 am. I asked him "Isn't it too early to be drinking beer?"....He replied "Oh really, what time does the throat open?"
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW
Avocado: okay you were in the
bathroom so I rotted
Dear Kenyans. Stop WhatsApp calling someone in the same country.
"Niko na kijana anatoshana tu na huyu msichana yako."
Your mother shooting a shot for you.
Pipeline ni place poa ya kuanza maisha ukiaanza kuzeeka unaenda Rongai.
Dear kenyans
The Top Of The Refrigerator is Not A SHELF. Are we together?
Ushawai kuwa kwa relationship yenye mko na zero chemistry hadi mkienda kukiss mnagongana meno?
Hauna boyfriend and you want a
husband... kwanini unataka kuruka terms and conditions?
Pitia kwanza kwa wana israeli uteseke kidogo kabla ufike promised land.
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