Kenyan Memes π°πͺ
53,144 followers
Jiwa Pejuang 
Freedom Media Ethics 
Autoly Inc. 
This habit of fixing your wedding reception in church to deny people access to alcohol and weed should stop by next week.
Kindly be nice to your wife this month, hii ndo ile mwezi ya kugawa pesa za chama wamesave for the whole year.
Hata akikutusi, vumilia, jifanye ng'ombe kabisa!
That guy managing super metro should now take over Nairobi relationships.
When I visit you. Please Don't ask me "juice or tea". Give me juice as tea gets ready.
*Me to the ATM machine*
Enough with that ffrrrrrttt noise, it's only 2K
Imagine dating someone who doesn't know the meaning of 'T' on T-shirt.
Alafu naomba muache hio tabia ya kuangaliaπ tu tweets zangu halafu husemi kitu....si uombe hata pesa?
Mtu akimaliza kula kwa jirani anafaa kujitoa after how longπ Sitaki kuchomaπ
Just received a letter from my landlord this morning saying, "Final Notice "
I'm so glad he won't be disturbing me anymore.
Marriage shouldn't even be crossing your mind if you are not financially stable my brother.
Just suffer alone.
Hakuna kitu hukasirisha kama mtu ako na kichwa kubwa kusema hakumbuki kitu.
Relationship ikiwa ICU.
Her : Nataka uniambie ni nini sina!
Me : Mi naona hauna bahati.
American Mom: Wake up dear our neighbor passed away last night.
Kenyan Mom: Watu wanakufa na wewe bado umelala!
In Nairobi, they don't break your heart π only. They even bite a piece of liver.
Mjengo per day is Ksh. 500
Per week is 500Γ8 = 3500/-
Per month is 3500Γ30 = 105,000/-
Per year is 105,000Γ12 = 1,250,000/-
Toyota Premier second hand is 900,000/-
Swali ni jee, mbona huna gari?π¨π¨βΊοΈβΊοΈ
Whenever it is raining and you are indoors, it is your duty as a Kenyan to go to the nearest window, look outside, act completely shocked even though you can see very well that it's raining and say, "Alaa!! Kwani kunanyesha?" It's in the constitution.
Wakamba wana tutisha wanaeza roga watu na hawaezi roga kwao kunyeshe.
Ladies please stop breaking your sponsors hearts. They are our bosses at work and they are shouting at us for no reason. π
My bank has informed me that my Twitter followers can not be used as guarantors for my car loan.
Kikuyus, there is a tougher word than parallelogram. Mmejaribu 'Corollary?' Haisemeki hata kwa akili.
Relationship ni kama music festival unashukuru tu uko kwa list!
Stop being a boring boyfriend...sometimes Invite all your girlfriends for a date together, Sit down, turn on your camera and record That movie.
Who else talks to cockroaches b4 killing them, like "unaenda wapi wewe" then paah!
Fellow Kenyans,these are the updated tarrifs.
"Decade" = 10 years
"Century" = 100 years
"Till death do us part" = 3 years
"Together forever" = 8 months
"You and nobody else" = 3 weeks "Ride or die" = 2 weeks
"Irreplaceable" = Next day (24 hrs)
"I can't live without you" = 2 mins
Uzuri ya huku village the most expensive slay queen hawezi maliza 830/= in one sitting.
Mothers call their last borns βmy childβ as if the rest of us are visitors.
When I say "call me when you need anything" I'm talking about words of encouragement"...Please I don't have money.
I went to a church today yabo... The preacher came over to me and said, "You will walk today".
I told him I wasn't paralyzed, but he said it again with more enthusiasm.
After the service I went outside & my car was gone. I walked.
If bedbugs come from beds, that means cockroaches come from...
Aaah never mind.
Kuwa outgoing haimaanishi sasa kila weekend lazima uende mahali kama masufuria za catering.
Hi there!
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Why does fridge have a "D" and refrigeration does not have a "D"?
Don't be caught off guard by these 9 creative lies Kenyan men love to use. Number 9 will shock you π€£kenyanmemes.co.ke/blog/top-9-lieβ¦Iy
Mtu akikufurahisha na ukose kucheka, hiyo ndio furaha isiyo na ki funny? Ama ni furaha bila ma-funny-kio?
Have you noticed that biscuit manufacturers don't make noise no matter how bad the economy gets?
They just silently remove two pieces from the pack and maintain the same price.
Having a mom is the best until she unplugs your 2% phone and charges her 95% phone.
The pain of being a visitor,
You laugh even when their child
Runs away with your
FOOD
Break up is bad, I remember I got dumped while I was going to pick my Nephew from school I came home with the wrong child.
Therapist : Looks like you fall in love so easily.
Me : Yes my love.
House girl mistakenly calls Oga darling infront of madam, as we try to settle the matter gate man tells madam babe calm down.
The only thing Kenyans have agreed to do in unity is to cook rice every Sunday.
Dear bestie you are not
Getting any younger.
You need to get marriedπ
Lakini mapenzi nayo ni ngumu. Imagine apologizing for being busy through the day.
Normalize dating a person within your IQ level, in order to avoid explaining a joke.
Hamkuwahi niambia betting iko n dooh hivyo..ningeanza kubet kitambo sababu Jana nlibet n pesa ya lunch nikashinda njaa.
Ni kitu gani uliingia nayo shule Form 1 na ukatoka nayo ukiwa Form 4?
There are those people who get to work so early just to make us look lazy. Is this true?
Ni Friday na mchore Eyebrows vizuri last weekend sikupenda.
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