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Jamie Capria

A promise to build a wall, a failure to condemn neo-nazis, a pardon of a white supremacist… I wish I had a punchline, but it's not a joke.
Still wondering why Kaepernick is unemployed? If so, this will help clear things up for you. comediansforcancer.wordpress.com/2017/08/25/qui…
Also, when you search "incompetent, narcissistic bigot" it takes Google .3 seconds to arrive at Trump. What's taking his supporters so long?
Due to time constraints, we now move you further ahead in your timeline where Donald Trump is still an incompetent, narcissistic bigot.
Friends don’t let friends in relationships like other women’s bikini pictures on Facebook.
It’s cool when a band smashes their equipment after their last song. It'd be even cooler if Ted Nugent's band did it after their first song.
Comparing Trump to his predecessors is like comparing apples and orange presidents.
4 years ago and the superpowers are still going strong.
If I were homeless, I wouldn't ask people if they had any spare change... I'd ask them if they had any spare Legos.
The more I'm around people, the more I realize I shouldn't be around people.
Numbers are the leading cause of statistics.
“I’m a people person.” ~Annoying people.
I always get FTD and STD confused. She’s going to be really pissed when she realizes I sent her a dozen diseases.
Trump is hard at work this morning trying to figure out how he can fire the 9th Circuit.
"Laziness is our biggest enemy." ~Jawaharlal Nehru "We should learn to love our enemies." ~Mahatma Gandhi Conclusion? Love being lazy.
The travel ban was unnecessary. If Trump really wanted to keep "bad dudes" and "terrorists" out of the country, he could've just left.
*Tosses a hat in the air out of respect.* #MaryTylerMoore
If I had it to do all over again, I’d probably fuck it up in entirely different ways.
Statistics show that 127% of all people exaggerate.
Three Men and a Baby:
Deep thought of the day: Even a maggot can get wings. #Inauguration
The only time I think about fitness is when one of my shirts is too small and I have to admit to myself "I'm never gonna fitness again."
Ignorance may be bliss, but knowing you're smarter than most people is rather euphoric too.
 
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