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Are you even smashed until you tell yourself how fucked you are in the bathroom mirror of ya mates house ??
Retweeted by shona
the people that write doctor foster need a career change asap
full offense she does NOT deserve success. i’m not generally one to hate but she’s famous for being insanely disrespectful to her mother…
Retweeted by shona
your wcw grates cheese in preparation for scattering on a meal but ends up eating it all before the meal is ready. it's me, im ur wcw
Retweeted by shona
I mean, they've not even dented the Lidl bag. They've been beaten by a Lidl bag.
Retweeted by shona
as if we're at critical again...🙄
can't deal with the stress of business assignments, legit just cried when i worked out that chris had made a £250 loss in his sandwich shop
Someone needs a big fuck off Halloween party this year
Retweeted by shona
'do you know who I am treacle?' bruh I'm dying 😂😂FkN
Retweeted by shona
as if jansen's been suspended how peaaakk😂
every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby
Retweeted by shona
Every single day my fear of adult me being trapped in a dead end 9-5 office job grows and grows
Retweeted by shona
Hate when people don't believe my exaggerations. Like, yeah I did wait 7 weeks for the bus once just fuck off.
Retweeted by shona
“If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.” #NeverForget911
You're a cunt if you keep a festival wristband on for months after the festivals finished
Retweeted by shona
ngl watching the trailers before a movie is my fav part of going to the cinema
Retweeted by shona
I'm going through the UGLIEST and FATTEST stage of my life right now. I truly hope the end is near.
Retweeted by shona
Uber driver: "I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh I see you" Uber Driver: "Are you the guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah floor it"
Retweeted by shona
i have never understood in tv shows when they accidentally send a text to the whole school, who has everybody in the schools number?
Retweeted by shona
become addicted to job hunting how sad
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