Are you even smashed until you tell yourself how fucked you are in the bathroom mirror of ya mates house ??
the people that write doctor foster need a career change asap
full offense she does NOT deserve success. i’m not generally one to hate but she’s famous for being insanely disrespectful to her mother twitter.com/hotfreestyle/s…
your wcw grates cheese in preparation for scattering on a meal but ends up eating it all before the meal is ready. it's me, im ur wcw
I mean, they've not even dented the Lidl bag. They've been beaten by a Lidl bag.
as if we're at critical again...🙄
can't deal with the stress of business assignments, legit just cried when i worked out that chris had made a £250 loss in his sandwich shop
Someone needs a big fuck off Halloween party this year
'do you know who I am treacle?' bruh I'm dying 😂😂FkN
as if jansen's been suspended how peaaakk😂
every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby
Every single day my fear of adult me being trapped in a dead end 9-5 office job grows and grows
Hate when people don't believe my exaggerations. Like, yeah I did wait 7 weeks for the bus once just fuck off.
“If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.” #NeverForget911
You're a cunt if you keep a festival wristband on for months after the festivals finished
ngl watching the trailers before a movie is my fav part of going to the cinema
ME: SEND ME PICS
GIRL: WHAT DO YOU WANNA SEE 😏😜
I'm going through the UGLIEST and FATTEST stage of my life right now. I truly hope the end is near.
Actual greetin hahahahahahah
Uber driver: "I'm close, where are you?"
Me: "oh I see you"
Uber Driver: "Are you the guy in the middle of the road?"
Me: "yeah floor it"
i have never understood in tv shows when they accidentally send a text to the whole school, who has everybody in the schools number?
become addicted to job hunting how sad