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Crude Jokes

God dammit rays! You can't let the pitcher score what the hell
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say "nice dick"
What's the difference between snow women and snowmen? Snowballs
Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom
How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!
Did you hear about the racist Mexican? He joined the que que que
What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh
Nice legs.. What time do they open?
Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could get laid too
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers! They went through tons of stories in 5 seconds!
What did the World Trade Center workers order for lunch on 9/11? 2 Large plains
What is the only time a pentagon has four sides? When it intersects a plane
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!
My wife came home from work one day crying and asked me to console her.. So I hit her over the head with my Xbox
What’s the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from camp!
How do you starve a Mexican? Hide the food stamps under the soap.
What's worse than a baby swinging from the fan on a rope by the neck? Stopping it with a shovel.
A black guy, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "get the fuck out"
Why don't black people go on cruises? Yeah, like they're gonna fall for that one again!
What's the difference between a Tyler Perry movie and an abortion? I don't laugh at Tyler Perry movies.
What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You don't fuck a rock!
What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you racist asshole!
Why is Tylenol white? It works.
What do you call 5 Mexicans at the bottom of a pool? Cinco.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it.
What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns.
Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today..
What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use lubricant.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her
How do you start a rave in Africa? Tape a piece of bread to the ceiling.
What do you call a Muslim that owns a camel and a goat? Bisexual.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon!
How do you fit 5 babies in a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail it's other hand to the floor!
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? There's 20 of them!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open by the time she brings it to you!
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice!
What do you call a woman that can't make sandwiches? Single.
What takes up 12 parking spaces? 6 women drivers
Why haven't they sent a women to the moon yet? It doesn't need cleaning.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They glued doorknobs to the walls
I like my women like I like my fish.. Battered
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