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Started in 2009
Over 4.5 million signups
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"Maybe I'll get you out of my head. Maybe I'll forget all the things you said..."
"Risin like the smoke, you linger on me..." 🎶
"Don't get arrested!" "I can run in heels. Fuck the police!" 😂😂😂😂
Flexing my twerk muscles while I'm sitting down at my work, cause I'm a lady in these streets but as soon as I go home...
If he doesn't make you wanna touch yourself in the middle of the day, he's not the one.
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Oh Hey there Followers. Long time, no see. 😉
My future husband won't put the ring in a champagne glass. He'll put it in fresh, clean bong water. 👌
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So hey um, if you're not busy this Friday... Uhh, wanna go to a lecture on quantum physics theories of black holes?
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Just saw a nipple ring so pretty it made me consider getting mine pierced. 😍
Me: Honey, I have a joke for you Hub: Ok M: How many men does it take to change the toilet roll H: IDK Me: [Throws TP] ONE! IT TAKES ONE
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June Marieezy is Bae. 😍
if you never hit yourself in the face were you actually hula hooping? lol you feel me hoopers
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I'll doit free RT @YungKeem4rmLB: “@FeelMySneakers: For 1million would you take this ride? ”naw iont fuck with heights
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I used to walk into a room and wonder if the people in there liked me, now I wonder if I'll like them.
Oh, your account is NSFW? Around here that's called 'Twitter.'
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I woke up with my middle finger in the upright and locked position.
Its a go fuck yourself kinda day
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I think birds should be required to wear diapers.
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*gets high, forgets to text you back.*
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Easy ways for high school girls to lose weight for a perfect bikini body? You're in fucking high school, hard can it be?
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Single moms slay. Who wouldn't want to date a single mom? Her pussy is certified as good enough to nut in. Just sayin.
Have you tried just telling her to calm down? *snickers -Me, telling my 8yo how to handle a girl that yells at him at school.
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I love when customers start flirting. All I see is dollar signs.
I need a blunt... 😒
Morning head would be so rad this morning.
One thing adult life has taught me to be true. There are three languages everyone speaks: 1. Pussy 2. Money 3. Weed
"The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees. I want money." 💵💵💵
Booty watchin 👀
Got my shit locked down like fort knox in my bra. Leggings don't have pockets.
Drunk tweet. 😜
Kinder soccer spectator drinking game. 1 shot whenever a player: Cries Falls on their ass Scores in the wrong goal Asks when snack is
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I'm smiling because I know I don't need you. I love me enough for the both of us. Imma be alright. ✌️
Study says the bigger Mom's fatty, the more likely your kids will be in MENSA.😉…5
Send me a pic of your books.
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Southern men talk like whiskey. Smooth and strong tongued. 😍
Don't get me started on silent P's. "Pterodactyl"?? Really? PAH-terodactyl? Pfuck you, english language.
Is anyone else as bothered by silent letters? Like the word "queue", wtf is that shit?
Today I saw an Arabic man in a cowboy hat. Your argument is invalid.
Rearranging my thoughts from least to most fucked up
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Why get mad when you could get high
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