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why do i just know @manticmichael is somewhere smirking and SMASHING the preorder button?…
Retweeted by michael
wisconsin may not black out today, but i will
i judge my worth as a human being by the clarity of my pee
i would rather watch trump get sworn in tomorrow sober than one more snapchat story of fucking bath bombs
as they say, january showers bring shitty presidents
new year, worse me
for xmas i got the worst hangover of 2016. so blessed
when u take so much adderall that u can't tell if ur a drug addict or just a fantastic student
some girl from my group tried dragging me on fb after i did the entire fucking project so i deleted her name from the final paper ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
when the prof says the final isnt cumulative
if u dont push ur chair in when u get up ur a garbage human being
looking at only millennial votes, hillary would have won by a landslide. i know it may be hard, but we have to keep……
rome wasn't built in a day, but it burned in one
hey green party, how does idealism taste now? #fuckrightoff
when u see ppl on campus w harvard sweaters and are like aww was this ur fallback
they didnt even give me a sticker after voting what the flying fuck
there's a special place in hell for profs who dont do any review before midterms
voting for gary johnson is quite easily the stupidest thing you could possibly do. fight me
i'm trying this new diet called eat like i'm about to go on the show survivor
love love LOVE your cross tattoo 🤗
roses are red harambe's in heaven bush did 9/11
i'd rather suck the hairspray out of donald trump's combover than watch anything on fb live
i have unpacked nearly all the boxes in my new apartment and still can't seem to find my motivation 🤔
*pays with credit card that matches outfit*
first broken bone of my life and it happens 2 months after my 21st birthday. is anyone surprised?
i would totally fuck jesus
living above a qdoba was the worst thing that ever happened to my scale
my to do list for the day: -go to work (after un mimosa) -cancel tidal and sign up for 4th free trial to avoid supporting jay-z's whining
your future wife/husband could be taking a painful shit rn
the new instagram icon makes me nauseous
i'm just happy i don't have to obligatorily carry around a backpack anymore
team zodiac killer ted cruz just won trivia night! is this the kind of accolade you put on a resumé??
funny how none of the nutri sci TAs seem to be practicing what they are preaching
my body is a temple: visiting hours are 24/7 and it is catered by qdoba
most of the people i surround myself with are pretty avid drinkers and i appreciate that
i've got 99 problems and trying to be an adult is all of them
me walking past tour group: DO NOT come here they make you do group projects
all these people from my high school are getting engaged and i can't even commit to one brand of toothpaste
i'm really feeling the burn. no literally, i'm sunburned all over my body.
me: why is my computer so slow?? *hasn't turned it off in 3 years*
being a wisconsinite means waking up hungover and going for milk over water
"middle class women are the most privileged group in our species"
Retweeted by michael
does putting ice in my drink count as alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks
trying to set the record for # of unfriends during this election season
uw horoscopes: you will meet the stupidest people of your life on the 80
"If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder" ....or quail hunting? #byescalia
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