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Andrew Dize

When everybody's going through drama but you're antisocial so nothing be happening to you
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For the next four years, I look forward to Trump's weekly tweet reviews of SNL episodes 👍…X
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How many other Broadway plays have their own album made of popular and new songs sung by the likes of John Legend a……
*cracks fingers, leans back in chair, takes sip of coffee*
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What's the point of scheduling an appointment when they don't take you in on time?
So dealing with potential identity theft the week before finals is really gonna push me over the edge :-) Wish me luck
The one time out of 25+ visits this semester where I forgot to lock my wallet in the car, it gets stolen. Salisbury is not safe!
Reminder 2 my followers: Lock your stuff up at the gym because there are actually low life scum out there who will go thru ur stuff & steal
I'm very quickly losing my sanity but hey at least I got an A on my cost exam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me looking at everything due this week
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*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation ...
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This happens to me far too often
I made the Trump/Romney photo black and white, and it looks like a Twilight Zone episode where a guy just made a fo……
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Every 1st date I’ve ever been on on the East Coast: Where’d you go to school? Me: BYU you’re Mormon? Have y……
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My life is just one big episode of a sitcom where bad things always happen to me
Today I was made to cut out snowflakes and I'd much rather chew my fingers off than do that for 2 hours
Boy I can't wait to quit my job. 2 more weeks 😅😅😅
86. lil sebastian - left us in a time of need - bernie supporter - too pure - we want him back
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79. jerry - nothings wrong with him just everyone hates him
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64. annoying cracker - someone break his glasses - loud - gives me a headache
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Just overhead one of my professors say "My tests aren't stupid. The people who take them are"
One man. Two exams. A group project. His regularly scheduled homework. 2 weeks. Will he survive the semester? Tune in next week to find out
Westworld pulled a S1 GoT move tonight 😾
Ok so I'm just realizing this but some dude from the Bachelor randomly commented on an Instagram post I made
My stepdad just lost $155 because the Pats didn't go for that TD. He is PISSED
Lowkey wish I had someone to spoil for Christmas because I could get the BEST deals on stuff
Not saying this Jill Stein thing is a scam, but if it were a scam, it would probably look a lot like this.…
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When Forrest says "Is he smart?" I swear I tear up every time 😩w
I come inside to get away and I kid you not that 4 people followed me
I'm about to chop my ears off so maybe this headache will go away from family talking non stop for 4 hours
When you get your plate of food and see a family member with something on their plate that you didn't see
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The #dubchallenge is twitters new way to make yourself look narcissistic 🙃🙂
Me: two day week you can get through it Me to me: miss one day make it a one day week
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I finally decided what I want for Christmas
when the cops tell you they found your son’s body but you were just talking to him through the lights
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Some dude parked next to me, sat here for 2 minutes, then backed out and moved 3 spaces down.
Remember the families of politicians* are off limits * applies to democrats only…
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me: go to bed right after #Westworld inner me: Stay up and contemplate theories for 80 minutes
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On Hamilton, Pence, and "this is why Trump won"
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This is the best thing about the whole Hamilton debacle. He also fought for the electoral college…
Me: I'll only eat a couple slices Me to me: couple slices means a whole large
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