Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you is the best feeling in the world.
Signs you are a Gamer #1 - You Press the A or X Button Rapidly During Loading Screens #videogames
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark? ....... Frost bite!
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Whats Long Brown and Sticky... ? A stick!
What do you call a deer with no eyes ? I have no I-Deer
Hey , "Hey" , "How r u" , " Good u" , "Good", "What r u doing", "nothing u" , "nothing", Retweet if you hate these convos.
Not sure how long I've been making dinosaur noises but by the looks I'm getting from everyone in the meeting it's been at least 10 minutes.
A hero need not speak. When he is gone, the world will speak for him - Halo #videogames
A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end?
Keep calm and Game on. #videogames #geek
I'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours - Alice in Wonderland
Send... More... Paramedics... The Return of the Living Dead #zombies
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein
The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.
Sometimes the simplest idea can make the biggest difference - Pay It Forward
Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?................ Because the rest are weekdays.
In dreams you lose your heartaches.
The match was invented after the cigarette lighter. Who knew?
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
When life got you down you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming - Finding Nemo
I'd rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not done. - Lucille Ball
Surprisingly, I have not gained a significant amount of power since drinking that bottle of #powerade
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it, then how bad a decision can it really be?
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.
There are more stars in the universe than all the brain cells of every human being who ever lived. #ChewOnThat
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.-- Dr. Seuss
I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be - Office Space
Id terrorize the South Seas! I'd torture the living! I'd demolish the er.. What I meant to say was I'd use it to pet kittens #MonkeyIsland
I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched Disney Channel today, he would cry.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the glue bottle?
If I had a day to myself I would just play #videogames
Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect - The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Everyone says to follow your dreams, so I'm going back to bed.
I hate it when I'm singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong.
Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Where is the button to restart summer?
David Guetta feat. the Person who Sings the Whole Song... ;)
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. - Dilbert
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven't died yet.
Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrr!
Dungeon Master Advice: He who buys the pizza, lives. #dnd
Late night conversations are usually the ones that mean the most.
You're just as useful as a red light on Grand Theft Auto.
Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment but when you transport by ship it's called cargo?
The book you don't read won't help. -Jim Rohn