FaceTime with @SarahAnneReed
"Luna say hi. This is your sister."
This will never not be funny. twitter.com/derryvines/sta…
My hair looks so good that three people have asked me where I bought my weave. @CueHair
for the win!
Don't trust people that tell you jackfruit is a good meat replacement.
This man just got on the train with a toolbox and his name badge says Felix and I'm just really sad that Ralph isn't around.
Audra's baby is my new favorite person. twitter.com/audraequalitym…
Advice from a New Yorker: Never get too attached to a restaurant. It will shut down and leave you abandoned.
Why is everyone so excited about Tswift when ALY & AJ RELEASED THEIR FIRST SINGLE IN 10 YEARS!!!!?!!!
Why are so many people freaking out about the eclipse? Black Annie is playing in Central Park tonight. That's something to get excited about
It's so humid that my glasses have started getting foggy anytime I step out of air conditioning.
PSA: If FaceTiming with multiple people, please disclose so your friends don't pick up the phone with only a towel on. @ccbachmann
I have so much respect for @marcorubio
I'm the extrovert of extroverts and the night owl of night owls but I will never understand why people start their weekend evenings at 11pm.
I can walk up to CEO's and celebs and speak in front of thousands no problem, but the second I hear thunder I'm like a lost child in Walmart
My only true friend is @mckenzieconnell
Literally just spent four minutes searching for my laptop that was sitting in my lap. I need a vacation. Rome anyone?
Just dropped my Return to @TiffanyAndCo
pendant in the subway grates so if you stumble upon me sobbing later you know why.
Girls. Get excited to read @kye_clare
's book one day.
Confession: Sometimes I walk an extra half mile to a Dunkin with mobile ordering so I don't have to talk to anyone before I've had coffee.
The worst thing about wearing glasses is that when I take them off I can't see and therefore can't find my glasses.
Today I had my first walk through of my first wedding coordinator job for strangers and all my dreams are coming true.
A woman just walked by me in white tea gloves and Valentino kitten heels and I just realized that I have the style goals of an 80 year old.
Every time I look in the mirror I get the sudden need to cut my hair without it getting shorter. Does anyone else experience this dilemma?
Caught myself singing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" which means I'm officially in Christmas mode.
Not making a rude or sarcastic comment goes on my greatest accomplishments list.
Me-"I love Audrey Hepburn." Her- "I know everything about Aubrey Hepburn. I'm her biggest fan."
My biggest pet peeve is when people pretend to be experts on things they have no knowledge on. Example. This girl I met on the train.
I've had a queen bed in my tiny room since I moved in and I just switched it out for a twin and suddenly all my anxieties are gone.
It's that time of the year when tourists need shock collars when they walk to keep the rest of us from being late.
Jesus: “It is written.”
Satan: “Is it written?”
Know the difference.
How I feel when I'm trying to sleep and @marmolee
starts talking to me after I stayed up to pick her up at 4:15 in the morning.
Me "My sneezes are better than Mom's"
"She's gotten better. She doesn't sneeze anymore."
Confused, I ask if he's okay. "Sorry. I'm okay. I got distracted. Did you know your hair is growing?" I hate humidity. (4/4)
I'm stoked as I've never had an intellectual conversation about this era of philosophy. Suddenly, he stops talking and stares at me. (3/4)
We discuss the possibility of Socrates suffering from mental illness and Plato's role in Aristotle concluding there is one god.(2/4)
Want to know how disgusting the weather is? Today I met someone well versed in Ancient Greek philosophy. (1/4)
There are about 600 people in line to meet Miley Cyrus right now and I'm shocked because I didn't know she still had fans.
On Saturday, I walked out of the room for five minutes and Madonna walked in. My staff is just now telling me. I think I hate them.
YALL!! Yasmin was ordering a pizza over the phone, and she said
"I would like to order a pizza, half cheese, half pizza"😂😂😂😂
I've been awake since 4:45 Thursday so you can imagine the stress that just came upon when I realized I have to wash my hair tonight.
I am so much funnier than you people not liking my tweets give me credit for.
I'm going 30 days raw until 4 and in case you were wondering how I'm doing sans coffee I just stopped to take a nap at a friends house.
Pro tip: Assert your dominance by giving enemies terrible nicknames
Can anyone explain to me why the weather is cool enough for me to be wearing a jacket in June???
This man just sneezed so loud on the train that I thought it was crashing and now I know how everyone else feels every time I sneeze.
Dear world. You should be friends with @kye_clare
. That is all.
Forever conflicted by my need to be in the sun at all times and my need to protect my skin at all costs.
It's 75 degrees and I've seen three unrelated people wearing Uggs. Am I missing something?
"I just don't know what the world is going to do when people realize that most languages are gender specific." @JSandwick