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Zach Crocker
I saw one too many "women in labor" jokes on this Labor Day.
#BBAD Cody, Derrick, Caleb plotting to backdoor Frankie until Frankie walks in the HoH room and ruins EVERYTHING. GO AWAY!!! #BB16
Of course Frankie has to throw in some promotion to Arianna Grande in the closing seconds. Get him out. #BB16
Not sad to see Donny go. He would have never been able to break that alliance. #BB16
An IKEA in Australia is letting people sleep inside the store! (or u could just stay at your apt which probably looks the same)
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
Turn down for #RedRobin mixed drinks
I emailed a customer today that had an out of office still up from January 2012. I was too embarrassed to say anything...
You know how you have that pick your poison question at the end of the day? "Should I take Route 1 or 95?" I always pick the wrong poison.
.@BuzzFeed 's next quiz - "How many minutes have you actually wasted on Internet quizzes?"
The "2:30 feeling" that 5-Hour Energy talks about is real.
Ketchup is good on everything. Except salad. Ketchup is not good on salad. Or pancakes. Or chocolate. Ketchup is not good on everything.
The new Sheetz in Massaponax has a drive thru!!!!! Asdfghjklzxcvbnm
Get up before the sun rises....sounded like a good idea at the time.
These @BuzzFeed quizzes are getting out of hand. "Which Friends character should you hide in your basement?" Yeahhh, not weird. 😐
I'm not an actor, but I'm still trying out for the new power rangers movie. I'll be the character that contributes absolutely nothing.
I miss learning and gaining knowledge. Can't wait to go back to school in a few weeks.
Zach, get off the internet. Bad things happen there. Specifically rumors that someone from The Mamas and The Papas died from a ham sandwich.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life."
I just realized my last tweet could have been a metaphor for something, but you have to realize I'm not that smart a guy.
It always rains when it's time to go home.
The worst feeling in the world is having to get up early, and still not being tired at midnight. 😭🔫
Why is there always that one guy at golf tournaments that shouts, "GET IN THE HOLE!"?
The amount of cameos in #Sharknado2 is the only thing good about this movie.
It is perfectly acceptable to love Kanye as a musician and completely despise him as a person.
My 1800th tweet goes out to the 1800 census, the presidential election of 1800, and 1800 tequila.
Can't wait to see the hate Frankie gets after leaving the house. You wanted fame? Everyone who watches hates you. You're now famous. #BB16
If you take 10 minutes to order food DON'T USE THE DRIVE THRU UGH
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
Double Eviction Night!!!!!!! #BB16
I'd have one less problem without @ArianaGrande.
Love seeing my Redskins back on the field. #preseason #redskins #patriots
I'm going to admit my faults here and say that I really can't wait to see Into the Storm. #IntoTheStorm #ItsGonnaBeGreat #not
I haven't watched an episode of #OITNB in over two weeks, and that is not okay.
I could watch Zach go through that freak out on a loop for the rest of my life and never get bored. #BB16
There is nothing more painful to my body than a sunrise. #mornings
Here's what Wayne and Garth have been doing since the 90's ended. #WaynesWorld #partytime #excellent #nostairway #denied
Over the course of my employment, I've been called Devon, Scott, Zac, Zack, Skip, Mr. Croker, Josh, and ma'am.
You guys.................................NFL Football is back! #NFL #HOFGame
Time flies when you throw a clock in the air and it hits someone upside the head.
A great song to drive home to 😊🎶 #armin #trance
Tuesdays are still the worst.
Maybe I'm getting old or just not cool anymore, because now I have to look up what certain acronyms mean. #tfw #notswagenough #blessed