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Zach Crocker
So here's a video I forgot to post from a long time ago. #supermario #fail
Mom wants to watch Orange is the New Black and it's gonna be really awkward...
There's always that one trainer in the Pokémon games that has six Magikarp.
Quote of the day: "If the P is low, reject the Ho." - Statistics professor
Before really listening to the lyrics to Style, I thought Taylor Swift was saying "Pikachu-like" instead of "thing that you like."
The poké ball keychain I have on my car keys keeps attracting unwanted attention...
Waiting for me to walk by so he can carry out his murder plot... #cats #kitty
The two grossest words I've ever heard on television... Transvaginal Mesh
I miss the fair! #FlashbackFriday
I don't ever get offended, but this girl on Steve Harvey said something must be wrong with you if you don't like dogs. UM YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
I'm so glad I don't have to do anything today.
Omg seriously I'm never drinking again.
Went to Chatham Manor today with @courtneybrucey and captured this breathtaking view of downtown Fredericksburg!
If you're that upset about police asking to roll down your window and giving them your license, then maybe you should stop breaking the law.
When your friends take pictures on your phone without your knowledge, just make them look as creepy as possible. Jokes on you!
Who knew how much variety we have when choosing smart phones! Which would you like? 6S or S6?
You're beautiful, it's true.
That moment when you realize Rosita on #TheWalkingDead was Suzy Crabgrass on Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide
Note to self: Don't name any of your children Betty or Chris.
#FlashbackFriday to when I had Ukelele gigs in my one man band called Tiramisu Bungaloo. Just kidding. Pretty sure I almost got thrown out of Guitar Center for disturbing the peace. Side note: I really miss that shirt even though Maryland and I don't really get along like we used to. #MissDemFresh
Apparently I haven't realized how offensive it is to servers to order water at a restaurant!
An Independence Day sequel without Will Smith sounds completely undependable.
The week after Spring Break is great! It's usually when my grades start to fall...
Wanna know how I know my house is haunted? This thing that holds the mugs shakes by itself and makes creepy noises.
I just caught myself singing a Christmas song. Only 275 days to go!
"Yeah, let me just lay here on this nasty ground and get dirt all over my white fur."
It's pretty bad that horror movie trailers these days make me laugh instead of scared.
Vegan dinner! #foodporn #healthy
I don't think this #ArnoldPalmer could be filled up ANY higher...
I've never had a more inaccurate fortune. It's technically not even a fortune. It's a lie! #fortunecookie
Jessica Lange is leaving American Horror Story. :(
Just filled out my March Madness Tournament bracket even though I know nothing about college basketball...
Sooo many Jennifer Aniston interviews where the interviewer brings up 'Leprechaun'
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
I just saw a guy wearing a whole lot of makeup, and then I realized it was just a woman.
It's so soothing if you subtract the wind! #vabeach #ocean
The actual title of this in the menu is "A Different Grilled Cheese." They weren't lying. #Marker20
One of the main reasons I wanted to go on a journey to #vabeach was to stop in Hampton to get some dirty rice balls! #Marker20
Helloooooo ocean! #itscold #vabeach
This place has golden water fountains...
Saying "go kill yourself" to someone who is being a bully probably isn't the greatest response.
#foodporn Cheesy potatoes and I managed to do it all by myself without burning the house down. 😊👍🍟
Somebody just chucked a glass of water at somebody at Denny's. Maybe it's time to go home...
I guess I should get rid of my Orakpo jersey :(
I just watched the first two episodes of #AmericanCrime, and now I'm really depressed...k time for bed!