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Zach Crocker
I wear my sunglasses at night
The most painful sentence I've ever read
Steel fabrication & WHAT?!
Got to drive Barb's Jeep today!!! Now I really want one...
Audrey to Clay- I'm tired of being the ebola virus in the house that everyone avoids #BB17
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
Like Gronk even knows what BB is... Bwahahahaha.... He is going to try and deflate Jackie's tits for Brady #BB17
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
A 13.1 bumper sticker says you finished a half marathon which means you didnt finish a marathon which means you suck at running AND bragging
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
What an awfully big blue eye you have!
I am never drinking again! For real this time!!!
I love you, America!!!! #imdrunk
Do you wanna build a snowman? #frozen #independenceday #freedom
Let them eat #freedom cake
Can't get anymore free than this! #fourthofjuly #independenceday #nofilter
My outfit is #onfleek today! #independenceday #fourthofjuly #merica #freedom
Putting this here just to be ironic
Side note: That Chrysler also had a Ben Carson '16 sticker, so take that as you will.
"Cheer Up. 20 years down the road, you'll be saying that these were the good ole days." - Bumper sticker on a beat up Chrysler
I'm so happy @tacobell converted to using paper bags instead of plastic. Save the Bell. Save the World.
That awkward moment when you keep encountering the same person at the grocery store.
Impromptu trip with mother!
K so OITNB is out on early release and now I'm trying to decide if I should risk watching it or just go to bed.
I was reminded 5 times yesterday to not wear jeans to work today. So what was I wearing as I walked out the door? I'll give you one guess.
Thank you 90s on 9 for playing Closing Time at 5 'o clock.
Love how 95.9 had the balls to play Fast Car by Tracy Chapman while I was in traffic.
Half of this morning was spent trying to untie the twisty tie off the new loaf of bread. Happy Friday Eve!!!
Sirius XM be like: Let's have a radio station where we play all decades of music, but we're gonna play the same Pink song 3 times a day.
Just sitting in silence and listening to the rain is all I need in life right now.
90 minutes just trying to get home from work. Livin' the dream...
Lifetime is airing a live episode of Hoarders. Canceled all plans for Thursday.
Watching Weekend At Bernie's for the 99th time, and questioning why I like this movie.
Mercury must be in retrograde. Accidents everywhere!
A little too early for that, don't you think? #grumpycat #AdventuresOfGrumpyCat
"I tried Spirit Week once, it was awful." #AdventuresOfGrumpyCat
Oh how I wish I could live your life for a day! #cats #catsofinstagram #kitty #BlueEyedBeauty
My bed is so comfortable. I'm never going to get up. Nothing can take away this beautiful moment......OMG I HAVE TO PEE.
If you're gonna say "I'm busy" when I call you, then don't pick up the phone.
Whoever made this San Andreas movie that's coming out soon stole my short story I made in Humanities two years ago. I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!

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