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Zach Crocker
An Independence Day sequel without Will Smith sounds completely undependable.
The week after Spring Break is great! It's usually when my grades start to fall...
Wanna know how I know my house is haunted? This thing that holds the mugs shakes by itself and makes creepy noises.
I just caught myself singing a Christmas song. Only 275 days to go!
"Yeah, let me just lay here on this nasty ground and get dirt all over my white fur."
It's pretty bad that horror movie trailers these days make me laugh instead of scared.
Vegan dinner! #foodporn #healthy
I don't think this #ArnoldPalmer could be filled up ANY higher...
I've never had a more inaccurate fortune. It's technically not even a fortune. It's a lie! #fortunecookie
Jessica Lange is leaving American Horror Story. :(
Just filled out my March Madness Tournament bracket even though I know nothing about college basketball...
Sooo many Jennifer Aniston interviews where the interviewer brings up 'Leprechaun' bit.ly/1xcu6EC pic.twitter.com/JURlWi8k15
Retweeted by Zach Crocker
I just saw a guy wearing a whole lot of makeup, and then I realized it was just a woman.
It's so soothing if you subtract the wind! #vabeach #ocean
The actual title of this in the menu is "A Different Grilled Cheese." They weren't lying. #Marker20
One of the main reasons I wanted to go on a journey to #vabeach was to stop in Hampton to get some dirty rice balls! #Marker20
Helloooooo ocean! #itscold #vabeach
This place has golden water fountains...
Saying "go kill yourself" to someone who is being a bully probably isn't the greatest response.
#foodporn Cheesy potatoes and I managed to do it all by myself without burning the house down. 😊👍🍟
Somebody just chucked a glass of water at somebody at Denny's. Maybe it's time to go home...
I guess I should get rid of my Orakpo jersey :(
I just watched the first two episodes of #AmericanCrime, and now I'm really depressed...k time for bed!
The new Carly Rae Jepsen song is starting to become a guilty pleasure...
From Paris Hilton with love
It is 62 degrees and it will be celebrated with SHORTS.
Just checked my symptoms on the Internet. I definitely have breast cancer.
Mmmm #BreakfastforDinner
Yaaaaas class is canceled tomorrow!
Can't wait for this heat wave to come through tomorrow followed by more snow on Thursday. ._.
The only thing I'm thinking about during this class is what I'm going to get for dinner afterward.
I guess "pursuing other opportunities" is considered slang for unemployed now? #KellyOsbourne #FashionPolice
I can't even with Tom Waits' voice. I think he needs another cigarette.
You wait for the return of Christ. I wait for the return of Enya to save us from the current musical crisis. #WhereArtThouEnya #NeedNewAlbum
Props to B101.5 for playing 2 Daughtry songs in a row thinking no one would notice at 3 AM, BUT I DID!
So the new Ford Fusion can parallel park itself. Any chance it can drive off a cliff, killing everyone inside? #populationcontrol
OKAY, WE WENT FROM "A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SNOW TOMORROW" JUST A FEW HOURS AGO TO A FORECAST OF 6 INCHES. I'M TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I'M ANGRY.