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Jhene Aiko
One time my friend offered me a popeyes biscuit, I had no other food or drink nothing, bit into like 75% of the biscuit bruh, on everything it felt like somebody waterbended the saliva out my mouth, y'all remember the first time SpongeBob went to sandy's house and didn't wear a bowl of water over hi
Remember back in middle school having to go to a physical to get checked out and shit, all I remember is a bad ass nurse or whatever the fuck she was come in and she was like "can you pull your pants down for me sir?" I was like shiddd you don't gotta tell me twice, she looked like she had a little
Nigga 8 dollars for some fucking orange juice? Them shits better have been picked with care, and mixed with a dash of love, shit better have been squeezed in between the nicest of all titties, 8 dollars nigga that shit better provide me with a year's supply of vitamin C, I better piss gold coins and
Most females will NEVER 🙊👄 tell you how they're feeling, BUT they'll tweet the hell out of it. 😂😂😂💯
Momma take one look at shawdy like "Mmhmm, don't do it" and you just thinking in your head fuck you mom what do you know you're old, then a week later you catch your girl sucking dick in Food Lion by the campbell's soup
It's hard to have an idgaf attitude with someone you clearly give a fuck about 😩❤️💯
When your homie says he could fuck your girl if he wanted to and you find a sticky note on the dresser
Wanna bless y'all timeline tonight 😍😘🙊�pic.twitter.com/KqsjB8Mh4YB8Mh4Y
When you see you ex's little sister in public
Nba street vol 2 gamebreakers used to be like 😭
Lmao bitches love talking about how crazy they are as if it was a desirable quality, *job application* tell me about yourself, "I'm crazy" lmao I was expecting outgoing or some shit. If a girl tell me she crazy idk what that means so imma just assume you a hoe and if you tell me you heartless imma j
When your memory gets full and you gotta start deleting shit
I am so bipolar it's crazy. One minute I'll want you to leave me alone and then the next want to be under you 😩💏😂💞
Fw my second page @ogjahmall
I Remember back in middle school when niggas would always do "book checks" which is walking up to somebody and just slapping they shit out their hand. I fell victim to this shit before, my binder used to stay messy af papers was loose af on the little flaps cause I was too lazy to put em in the ring
Any nigga cut my hair this clean I'll help raise his kids on everything, you don't even gotta be the father if u don't want to homie, yo son wanted a bike? I got you bruh just keep my hairline sharp
When little kids ask you if you have any games on your phone #AlmostAsBlackAsMyPants #MyWavesExtendToMyForehead #MustacheChildishAf #MyHandsLookSoUncomfortable
If you see me somewhere serving tortilla chips just know I'm working on my master plan
That one nigga that is always ashy af for no reason, these type of niggas walk through cvs and walk smooth past the lotion without even glancing in its direction, these the same type of niggas that's 19 with 3 kids and walks past the condoms in stores like they don't exist. Ashy niggas walking arou
This bitch got a permanent attitude on her face, this the result of letting a Crackhead do your eyebrows for a dollar behind the liquor store, the motion of her eyebrows represents the results of my grades over the semester, Why her eyebrows look like 2 sperm cells about to fight till the death
There's nothing like the day when you and your ex break up and you set her free into the wild to be a hoe again, shit is so beautiful like watching your child go off to college and start a new life
Like "nah babe me and tyrone are just close friends he's helping tutor me in Spanish" like you lying son of a bitch that nigga gotta 3% in Spanish fuck you mean he tutoring you the nigga can barley speak English, that nigga so dumb he failed a survey so tell me again what he tutoring you in
I keep that sauce on me bruh
My nigga Herb 🔥
When your college professor bad af and you ask to stay a few minutes after class for some extra help and she says "what can I help you with?"
Fuck around and do some shit like this and see if I don't tell the waiter to bring you a kids menu and some crayons since you wanna be childish, you just went from steak to a grilled cheese sandwich with orange slices, congrats
"Retweets are hints, favorites are hidden feelings." 😳😁💯
When niggas get in a relationship and can't tweet like a savage anymore
Lmao like did y'all see that shit
That one old ass uncle that's always talking shit cause he old af like "Boy what you know about football? You don't know a damn thing, I was there for superbowl number 1! Ahh the 60s you wasn't even thought of, so don't tell me about anything young blood with all this damn technology you got, you kn
Don't trust my pullout game I guarantee you'll end up disappointed, I can't even pull food out the oven without fuckin up, this is a warning
Y'all go check out the homie Mixtape, shit is 🔥🔥, shit burn hotter than prostitute pussy on Saturday nights, link in bio
Click on some random shit like the weather like damn baby did you know there's gonna be a high of 28 and low of 14 tomorrow in Mexico
Bitches ain't shit Chapter 3 "cousin zoned" There comes a time in your life when you just gotta come to the conclusion "I'm ugly af and it is what it is" I realized this the moment I came out the womb and the doctor almost dropped me after seeing my face, but guess who's laughing now? Probably sti
Yes it is correct bitch
Bruh wildest fight I've ever seen
Fam this the most niggaish thing I've ever seen, like oh shit I've ran out of buns lemme wrap it in this crispy ass piece of chicken, if I wanna enjoy the sensation of some chicken df makes them think I wanna shitty ass hotdog interfering with that? Nigga I can wrap a hotdog in a chicken tender myse
Lmao i just been fucking everybody's head up 😭
Better take her ass back in the house and put on something more appropriate, like hefty trash bag
This bitch look like she eat rusty nails and car tire scraps for breakfast while bench pressing a human size dildo, I always wondered what it would be like if a dyke tried to fight me, like do I punch this nigga in the chin or grab her titties idk