Papas got a brand new bag 😏
I was an absolute fanny 😂�vine.co/v/MxMJjuvavaO
I eat on average 4 full mangos a week and I STILL cant cut one without making a massive mess and taking 10 mins. Whyyyy
Rod Stewart oot his pie at the Cup Draw is 10/10 the best
Melania Trump look like she gunna go try and win the tri-wizard tournament
I'm honestly always gonna be a fat bastard. Go to make dinner and end up orderin takeaway. BMI? Bring me indian?
My weans been in the vets from 8 this morning. Cannot wait to get him home and smother him in kisses
was so good! Think I had a heart attack 14 times
My Twitter feed is such a bag of shite these days.
Started scrolling reddit at 1am in bed. Blinked and its 4am. 3 hours on a sub about the universe, time and reality. Fried brainnns.
Impractical Jokers Live was really good tonight!
Get some free uber rides up to a tenner if u sign up with the link x uber.com/invite/gemmao5…
Given they had 2 fuckin weeks to tell me. #1 am aff sick and #2 eh NAW ✌👅
Have to laugh at lassies that message u at midnight n say "we have a presentation 2moro can u do the powerpoint for our group"
People always complain about hospital waiting times but ive just went from walking in a&e to seeing a surgon in 15 minutes. #nhYes
Somebody suggested I say "Londonderry" instead of "Derry". A guy in GLASGOW. Good old fucking Glesga.
Been up for 21 hours and ive passed by the wall about 18 mile and am still going
Thought I was getting an early night. Noppppe. Fuckin hospital (as a patient not a colleague please dont sack me)
Ps Chronic ilness flare-ups really do suck. Only upside is i k ow itll go away in a few weeks .. Then inevitably return.
. Hopefully its not as confusing second time around.
Singing along to Into The Woods n the cat hasnt even looked in my direction once. Wee pie sleeps through anythin until u rustle a bag 😂
Ive got aboot 4959 assignments due n 2 exams on Monday & I've done fuck all about it since I finished up 2 weeks ago. Aw well.
🎶🎶 then came the day Osama blew us awayyyy 🎶🎶
was intense. Is it next Sunday yet?
I actually think YouTube Red is a pretty near idea. As long as its under a tenner.
2017 goal is to fuckin sleep normally
Because we all know (well those of us who have a brain) that sexuality, just like gender, can be fluid.
Annoying. George Michael being called a 'Gay Icon' I hate that phrase. He was an icon to all sexualities, no matter what you identify as.
For everyone tweeting me about the problems with the budget. I've a radical idea. Let's become independent and we can control ALL the money
We need more Mhairi Black's in the world.
Heading to a new studio in the morn for a tattoo sitting and I'm nervous about not finding the place 😂
Marathoned the OA in its entirety. Didnt get it 😂😂😂 waste of 8 hours
Ffs The OA has copied Stranger Things a belter
Haven't slept during the night for a good 8 weeks now. Please knock me the fuck out
Nothing better than yer first xmas/NY in 5 years not working. Especially retail. Best decision ever to walk out of my shitey job 👏👏
Nobody fucks with the jesus
On my way to an exam and ive found a poster from the Polo toilets from Sunday night in ma jacket pocket. Atleast #pololovesme
Wit is it with wee lassies going missing for a few days and being plastered all over facebook only to turn up 'safe and well'? Must be ket.
Right so I accidentally ate a dog biscuit last night and I just seen my maw n shes like wits that noise? Is that u barking again? Kill me.
Buzzing for tomorrow now!
On a positive note I can't believe I got 38/40 on my anatomy exam. 95%!! So shocked goes to show even bad students can become surgeons haha!
3rd double ear infection since september. How lovely.