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Alan Garner
prayercomedy 996,435 followers
*walks out of exam* Me: So what did you get for question 8? Friend: 7.433 so easy. Me: Same, so easy. *walks off*
Me: For christmas I want a dragon! Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok I want a girlfriend. Santa: What color do you want your dragon?
When you wake up from a nap and you want food
16 Images Of Yesterday's Stunning Solar Eclipse
Retweeted by Alan Garner
It's called fall because everything is falling... leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation
*in the back of a police car* Yo you got an aux cord?
Lucas better keep his damn mouth shut
How far would you go to get this? I would date my mom's ex-husband.
This clown made me poop myself as a kid, and possibly still to this day.
When you're proud of something and nobody cares
Me trying to save my grades this semester
When your friend gives you the AUX chord
The spooky images of forgotten, abandoned, and historic mental hospitals
Retweeted by Alan Garner
95% of the time when I’m smiling at my phone, it's because of something I said, not something someone sent me. I’m hilarious.
If snapchat could take videos while playing the music from my phone just know my story's would be too turnt
You’re a Bitch You’re a Bit You’re a You’re You Yo Y Yo You You’re You’re a You’re a Bi You’re a Bitch Oh look, You’re still a Bitch
Removing emojis from someone’s name because they don’t mean shit to you anymore
me when I have no idea how to work a problem on a math test
do u ever zone out but ur aware that ur zoned out but ur too lazy to zone back in
School is not even about learning. It's about how much stress you can handle before you have a mental breakdown.
When you're in class tweeting and someone in your class retweets it
When you leave a party and you’re still drunk
I’m like 102% tired.
My eyes are saying "go to sleep" but my heart is saying "Netflix"
I wanna be in shape but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Ebola: I'm in the US broom broom America: Get out me country
People who make me laugh until I'm physically in pain are my favorite kind of people
Life’s big question: are you really that attractive or is your selfie game just strong
*Ebola tries to enter US* Frat guy: who do you know here