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Alan Garner
prayercomedy 996,435 followers
How far would you go to get this? I would date my mom's ex-husband.
This clown made me poop myself as a kid, and possibly still to this day. pic.twitter.com/OSdgAsVF0W
When you're proud of something and nobody cares pic.twitter.com/CnUEg4nL0l
Me trying to save my grades this semester pic.twitter.com/GaA2Obmipb
When your friend gives you the AUX chord pic.twitter.com/V9B63hl4vJ
The spooky images of forgotten, abandoned, and historic mental hospitals allday.com/g/forg
Retweeted by Alan Garner
95% of the time when I’m smiling at my phone, it's because of something I said, not something someone sent me. I’m hilarious.
If snapchat could take videos while playing the music from my phone just know my story's would be too turnt
You’re a Bitch You’re a Bit You’re a You’re You Yo Y Yo You You’re You’re a You’re a Bi You’re a Bitch Oh look, You’re still a Bitch
Removing emojis from someone’s name because they don’t mean shit to you anymore
me when I have no idea how to work a problem on a math test pic.twitter.com/snFK24d5Vo
do u ever zone out but ur aware that ur zoned out but ur too lazy to zone back in
School is not even about learning. It's about how much stress you can handle before you have a mental breakdown.
When you're in class tweeting and someone in your class retweets it pic.twitter.com/L5TlCivSxP
When you leave a party and you’re still drunk pic.twitter.com/Bjk7HllgRg
I’m like 102% tired.
My eyes are saying "go to sleep" but my heart is saying "Netflix"
I wanna be in shape but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Ebola: I'm in the US broom broom America: Get out me country
People who make me laugh until I'm physically in pain are my favorite kind of people
Life’s big question: are you really that attractive or is your selfie game just strong
*Ebola tries to enter US* Frat guy: who do you know here
Kinda wanna be 21. Kinda wanna be 6.
These 3D tattoos will blow your mind with how real and life-like they are bit.ly/3dinks
Retweeted by Alan Garner
My diet plan: - Make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get the thinner I look
Me studying: Writes down 3 words Checks twitter Changes song Gets snack Sneezes Contemplates life Loses place in notes Falls asleep
if a girl asks u for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it over..no one deserves that level of hell
The Best Photobombers Of All Time allday.com/g/bg0
These 3D tattoos will blow your mind with how real and life-like they are allday.com/g/bgb
Retweeted by Alan Garner
When the delivery guy arrives with your food pic.twitter.com/ssfsE0RydV
Three Boobs Isn't Even Weird for Florida allday.com/g/dw
The Chernobyl Amusement Park That Opened For Just One Day allday.com/g/dv
Retweeted by Alan Garner
Remember, people say ‘I love you’ in different ways 'eat something' 'get some sleep' 'have my fries' 'yeah i'll buy it for you'
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?!" Me: "Gravity, mom."