Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Dear fridge, I'll be back in half an hour. Please go shopping. Sincerely, I'm hungry.
I'm that friend that has to walk behind the others when the sidewalk doesn’t fit a group of 3.
Person: You're really cute. Me: Are you making fun of me.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
Sometimes I just feel like sleeping and never getting up.
I hate it when other people laugh and still look attractive, but when I laugh I look like an awkward horse.
All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips.
People I hate, are not allowed to be funny.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
You may have a hot body but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who's the real winner here.
"i wish i was skinny" *eats 6 cupcakes and entire carton of ice cream*
Me after 15 seconds of studying: I just can't do this anymore
It's funny how fast you can wake up when you realize you've overslept.
Do you ever just look at really attractive people and sigh.
If this Gets 25 RTs then I will go on a Massive Following Spree RT for a follow #TeamFerrel
Following the next 10 people who follow @JokingGinger
Retrain Your Brain. RETRAIN ITTTTTT!!!!!!
If this Gets 50 RTs then I will go on a Massive Following Spree RT for a follow #TeamFerrel
Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice. Except Chris Brown.
If Monday were a person it would be a fat ginger girl who likes horses and tells the teacher when you cheat.
People think I’m so innocent… if only they knew what really goes through my head.
Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote I do not understand the correlation
i’d actually go running if there wasnt anybody around to see me stop after 43 seconds
I miss being a kid, no one cared how you dressed, we were all friends and we all could be ourselves without being judged.
My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Girls are like Pokemon. It doesn't matter how good you are; you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Parents, problems, friends, fakes, love, crush, dating, responsibility, drama, heartache, failures, stress, happiness; It's life.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Me: Okay brain, lets focus for just 45 minutes on this math test we can do this. Brain: DADADA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO SQUIRREL POTATO LALA
Me: I want a hot body. Me: Does absolutely nothing to achieve this.
Police: "Anything you say can or will be held against you." Me: "Zac Efron."
You + me = perfection. Just kidding, you're a piece of shit.
Its amazing how one little conversation can change things forever.
If someone wants you in their life, they'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot.
I'm that friend that has to walk behind others when the sidewalk doesn't fit a group of 3
Some people just need a pat. on the head. with a hammer.
I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
I speak in sarcasm. If you don't get that, you're probably going to hate me.
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and you're not awake so its a win-win situation.
Dogs dying in movies should be illegal.
Sarcasm falls natural out of my mouth. Just like stupid falls out of idiots mouth's...
Alcohol is never the answer... But it does make you forget the question.
when you have an obvious white stain on your black shorts
Titus Young: redefining two-a-days pic.twitter.com/aUoS5NPDUw
We all know that guy who always tries to overcompensate by calling everyone else gay.
I hate how old guys at the gym always have towels but never wear them.
Don't be fooled by those high school movies. The hot girls are not on the cheerleading team.