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That awkward moment when you’re actually telling the truth but you laugh during it, and everybody thinks you’re lying.
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad...
There is always one person you just want to punch in the face..... repeatedly.
That awkward moment when you realize you probably shouldn't have told someone something.
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation.
Holding her hand in public, is just another way of saying you're proud to have her.
Retweet if you miss someone right now.
Follow me on Instagram at wethinkfunny21 for the funniest pictures ever #teamferrell
When you scroll fast it's purple! 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 💙❤ ❤💙 RT!
How it should be: M̸o̸n̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸u̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ W̸e̸d̸n̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ Friday Saturday Sunday
I am hungry 25 hours a day.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
When you call your mom back after 7 missed calls
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Too bored to stay home. Too lazy to go out.
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
who needs april fools my entire life is a joke
Check this one out: 1
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
i like staying up at unhumanly hours but i also like getting 12 hours of sleep do u see my problem
One of the most valuable thing is an 'Idea' as it could be the beginning of a milestone.
you wear that shirt a lot" yes because i own it
Always be positive. *Trips down stairs* Wow I got down those stairs fast!
If I tell you my problems, that means I trust you.
Vlut = A virgin that acts like a slut.
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. My alarm is the cops. School is the jail
❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Doesn't matter, I’m awesome.
accidentally slams door* *gets lectured for 84 years*
My eyes during a test*(←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→). *When the teacher comes next to me* (↓_ ↓). *When the teacher walks away* (←_←) (→_→)
1 universe, 8 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u
When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and very politely say, "You hit like a bitch".
I wish I could live like Spongebob, laugh out loud all day without any reason and annoy the bad people with my happiness.
Yeah. I'm WEIRD. (W)onderful, (E)xciting, (I)nteresting, (R)eal, (D)ifferent.
I like Twitter more than Facebook because I can update my status every 5 minutes without people thinking I'm crazy.
If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when your older.
Teachers call it cheating. We call it teamwork
Throwing lamps at bitches who need to lighten up
sometimes i feel completely useless then i remember i breathe out carbon dioxide for plants so i guess i'm not that useless after all