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Vincent Mureithi
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Trust your instincts, folks
My internet works super fast only when I'm about to sleep and they ask me the reason for insomnia.
My favorite part of cooking is when the delivery guy shows up.#ccjokes
I didn’t take a nap. I took a horizontal life pause.
Even if women came with directions, you still wouldn’t read them.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
Now that their secret is out are we just going to call them ‘The Service’?
I like to hangout with people that make me forget to look at my phone.
I was that bored today I chased a plastic bag down the street.
Adults are allowed to buy alcohol because we have to put up with ridiculous shit from ridiculous people all day long.
There are some people making distasteful jokes about Robin Williams death. The good thing about that is they will never be as funny as Robin
No, you don't have "haters". People just don't like you. Get over yourself.
mental illness and kill themselves and believe in God your opinion sucks and is invalid my last two #tweets
when u start throwing around that he was an atheist and this is God's punishment then I really don't want to know you a lotof people suffer
I know everyone doesn't have the same views concerning The death of Robin Williams cause they don't understand mental illness but
I normally look at my old tweets then i think how stupid i was two days ago.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
Aladdin: "Genie, I'm gonna miss you." | Genie: "Me too, Al." #RIPRobinWilliams
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
#RIPRobinWilliams so heartbreaking.... thank u for the joy & laughter.... condolences, love and light to his family during this tragic time
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole.
Hahaa! "@VincentMureithi: I'm so glad that I saw ur baby on board sign on the back of your car window.I was about to ram my car up your ass"
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
I'm so glad that I saw your baby on board sign on the back of your car window. I was about to ram my car up your ass.
I wish i was you so i could hang out around with me.
Heartbreaking news about the late Robin Williams. May his soul now be at peace!
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Long story short, I love summaries.
I’m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
BEWARE: Smoking weed can have dangerous side effects, such as never shutting the fuck up about the fact you smoke weed.
We all have that friend that we love but every once in a while we fucking hate them and get the sudden urge to beat the shit out of them.
loool "@VincentMureithi: Teacher: Why r u talking during my lesson?? Me: Why r u teaching during my conversation??"
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
"@VincentMureithi: It's funny how all trust goes away when you can't find the remote. ''Are you sitting on the remote?'' No. ''Stand up''."
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
Teacher: Why r u talking during my lesson?? Me: Why r u teaching during my conversation??
I'm single, but its serious!
It's funny how all trust goes away when you can't find the remote. ''Are you sitting on the remote?'' No. ''Stand up''.
"@VincentMureithi: I have always secretly wanted to pull the fire alarm at school." My sentiments exactly...and run towards the exit ..
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
Checking your fridge every 5 minutes to see if any food magically appeared.
I have always secretly wanted to pull the fire alarm at school.
Do stupid people know how to take a nap
f someone says “This place is crackalackin!”, does that mean it’s lacking white people?
I’ve reached the age where Happy Hour is a nap.
I can say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed.
I don’t mind your weirdness, as long as it’s compatible with mine.
You know you're no longer mamas boy when you fall asleep on the couch.. And wake up on the couch
"@izzobratha: Haha sure RT@VincentMureithi : Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves."
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
Haha sure RT@VincentMureithi : Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi
@breeybabie: Haha yeah RT @VincentMureithi: Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.” Hahah'
Retweeted by Vincent Mureithi