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Repeat After Me
Condom use doesn’t affect orgasm quality.
I love you, even when I hate you.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
We take the Estimated Time of Arrival on our GPS as a challenge
No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.
Fuck you for fucking with my feelings.
I love you, no matter what.
I will never say “I love you” unless I mean it 100%.
30 Pieces Of Cast Art That Almost Make A Broken Bone Worth It bit.ly/1EHqDLi
15 People Caught Sleeping at Work bit.ly/19QBGKz
24 People Who Made The Best Of A Bad Situation bit.ly/19QyKh3
“Weird Al” Yankovic and Suge Knight went to the same highschool.
You’ve got someone here. Someone who wants to make it alright, someone who loves you more than life.
Sometimes people are beautiful, not in looks. Just in the way they are.
women belong in the kitchen. men belong in the kitchen. everyone belongs in the kitchen. kitchen has food
Best friends are the siblings from different parents.
The Pentagon was constructed so that no point in the building is more than a 10 minute walk from any other point in the building.
Is everything expensive or am i just poor
I’ve been disappointed so many times, now I just expect people to fuck up.
Trust is the easiest thing to lose..
People do not walk barefoot because there are no government shoe factories.
A cool date would be actually going on a date
Mind-Boggling Stories From 15 Selfies That Can Make or Break Your Day! bit.ly/19U09yA ❤❤❤
If You Think You Knew Everything About Our World, These Things Will Prove You Are Wrong. bit.ly/19THXoV
Funny And Accurate Graphs About Irritating Everyday Life. The Toilet Paper Graph(#3) Killed me! bit.ly/1GUcwow
Know Your History Like No One Else – These 20 Rare Images Will Change Your View About The Human Past bit.ly/19THxyO
Actors Who Once Were Young and Hot – See Dumbledore’s Youth bit.ly/19QgOTH
I hate that ”what if” feeling.
I’m so hungry I could eat something healthy.
Be happy with who you are, don’t let anyone change that.
Either you’re staying or leaving. I don’t deal with people who come in and out of my life when they feel like it.
Admit It, we’ve all recorded ourselves singing to see if we could actually sing.
Justin Bieber once booked the entire Staples Center in L.A. for a screening of the movie Titanic.
I love you, even when I hate you.
April fools day is tomorrow but it doesn’t matter cause everyday of my life is a joke
My stress is stressing me out
Bitch please, I don’t need a “previously on…” I’ve been watching this show for nine hours straight
Of Cougar Town’s 102 episodes, 100 are named after Tom Petty songs.
This Tool has already found me scores of quality people to follow, and many of them have followed me back! j.mp/1a1yb1A
Spot On Renaming Of Some Disney Movies bit.ly/19QppFO
21 Dating Tips for Men bit.ly/1EHgOwY
Mind-Boggling Stories From 15 Selfies That Can Make or Break Your Day! bit.ly/19U09yA
Studies have shown that orgasms can make women more confident, productive and creative.
If you want it, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.
raise your hand if your GPA needs a prayer
April fools day is tomorrow but it doesn’t matter cause everyday of my life is a joke
Don’t be put off by the hideous appearance of my balls. They’re warm, soft & #velvety to the touch.
Zach Galifianakis writes three jokes a day.
If you text him and he doesn’t text back, he was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.