I hate it when I’m doing push-ups and I lose count after 1000.
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common? A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
For *express* service on elevators, press the “close door” & your floor # at the same time. You’ll skip all floors between.
my room: messy
my thoughts: messy
my hair: messy
my life: messy
Drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee significantly improves blood flow.
people annoy the life out of me
You can replace me but you can’t replace the memories you had with me.
I can’t live a day without music.
I like my bed more than I like most people.
You have microscopic mites living on your face.
Regret setting your phone on ‘Silent’ or ‘Vibrate’ once you misplaced it.
Chivalry is reserved for appreciative women, not the others…
Boost your social media productivity! Twitter, Facebook (profiles, pages, groups), LinkedIn, RSSfeeds, blogs,Plurk… j.mp/1ibuNmD
People who tend to cry when they’re happy are also the ones who giggle inappropriately during a tense exchange, research shows.
We treat hoes like hoes and we treat good girls like good girls.
Cherophobia is the fear of being too happy because “something tragic” will happen.
I don’t even get mad anymore, I expect bullshit from people..
If you truly love someone you’ll want them to be happy even if it’s not with you.
buy me chick-fil-a and i’ll be ur chick-for-life
Clothes shrink too small? Soak clothes in a mixture of hot water and hair conditioner for 5 minutes, to unshrink them.
When 2 persons share a dislike of another person, it brings them closer.
When I find a song that fits my mood, I listen to it over and over again.
Successful people work on ABC issues. Stressful people live in unplanned life and work on XYZ issues.
If you remember and use people’s names in conversations, they will like you more.
It’s not hard to find someone who can tell you they love you it’s hard to find someone who actually means it.
If I don’t fuck with you anymore, it’s probably your fault. I’m speaking in general cause I don’t just cut people off for no reason.
Music can help time pass by quicker, make your workouts stronger, and help you feel less pain.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.
If you don’t think you’re good enough, no one will.
Those who plan ahead with priority, get ahead and stay ahead of daily disorder.
Barbie now comes in tall, curvy, and petite with different skin tones and hair textures to better represent women around the world.
The only fight there should be in love is for each other.
Dying to know. Afraid to find out..
real life: *gets ignored* internet: *gets ignored*
That one friend who you always greet with an insult.
America’s obesity problem where 1 out of 3 people weighs the same as the other two combined.
Since you can upload up to 5K tweets with SocialOomph this is quite a good way to preschedule tweets j.mp/1aUA94g
The longer we associate with a group of individuals, the more our thinking and feeling processes become like theirs, or theirs like ours.
my fashion sense is called i am cold and pissed off
Your pupils can expand by as much as 45% when looking at someone you love.
Nothing in life is ever random. Everything that happens is supposed to happen. Trust the process.
Single and waiting is better than taken and faking.
Baby you’re my everything, you’re all I ever wanted.
James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling eachother would be the greatest sound in the world.
You know what’s fun about being sober on Saturday? Nothing.
*cant wake up in the morning* *cant fall asleep at night*
This Tool Get your message out while you sleep. Make social media work for you 24/7. Easily manage multiple accoun… j.mp/1hYDGSV