The look on Miss New York's face when she gets crowned Miss America. This is usually the face I have… instagram.com/p/eTjU_qzJ6g/
Who went to the same high school as the P&G recruiter. This guy. #score #notthatithelps
All moved in! Getting lunch! #pizza
@ Ray's New York Pizza instagram.com/p/dH8XKRzJ5e/
Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Not guilty? That's just wrong. Apparently, killing someone is okay now.
i swear i get uglier each day
How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira's hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?
I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage....So now I know why zombies walk like they do.
Honey Boo Boo just got some pork chops for Christmas.
I'm just going to start cheering for people I want to lose, since apparently whoever I cheer for loses. #wimbledon
McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window.
My doctor said I shouldn't hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one.
This chick just looks crazy. pic.twitter.com/fzgk9raTjf
Serena Williams, if you don't win, what would I live for??
I'm ready for the semester to start, and we have another month and a half to go. #NerdProbs
At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*
My dog needs to be institutionalized for mental instability. #PsychoDog
Movie Popcorn + Pretzel M&Ms = A Very Happy Tyler. #heaven #food #sweetandsalty
I love how my mom casually asks "Y'all ready?" after making us wait almost 30 minutes like its our fault we are late.
There needs to be a dating site that matches you with the perfect slice of cheesecake.. #ThatWouldBePerfect
while we're at it, let's put the Greek one in there too!
And then Satan whispered, hey let's put the alphabet in math...
Serena Williams won her match. <3
Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back. #KillingMySelfEsteem
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -People who have never seen a flying cockroach. #TrueStory
AHA! Found a way to turn off parallax on my iPhone. They put the option in Accessibility..
T: Have you done your homework? S: You graded my test? T: No I have other student's stuff to grade S: I have other teacher's homework to do.
I never, ever, envisioned a day like this, ever, in Tennis History at a Grand Slam. I am still in a daze...and this is only the 3 rd day...
I just saw a baby rabbit and it totally just made my day.
I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals.
Where do cows go on the weekends?
"I keep two hammers beneath my bed. One for throwing and one in case I miss...." Uhhhhh @TylerClenney
I really don't need your so called "expert advice" right now. #JustShutUp
Finally got iOS 7 beta downloaded. Took forever, but its EPIC! :D
Research shows homework has no academic value and students are usually given too much. bit.ly/163SfeT
People tell me I have a lot of patience. Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around. #ISecretlyWantToHurtYou
Got my WWDC live stream. Woot. pic.twitter.com/OrVLKoXheh
I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy.