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tx2sturgis
#ProsOfDatingMe You'll never catch me out in a lie or a scary hidden past secret as it's all plastered over twitter 😂
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Its taking awhile to shrink my 'following' list...in other news, lunch is almost ready...
What happened to #Amazon's 2day prime shipping? Its more like 9 days now...
I don't pretend to be anything except not totally drunk on occasion, & I won't be winning any Academy Awards for those performances either.
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Just. One. More. Motorcycle. I swear. ;-)
Only Utah would brew such a beer... why have just one? @ Wasatch Brew Pub instagram.com/p/3URCxXI_Rf/
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I hate it when you've got that perfect tweet nailed, and you're just ready to hit send... and you lose the Wi-Fi connection in church.
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Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
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Just because my body has the ability to produce milk & eggs, doesn't mean I like to bake.
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wow i feel sorry for rap....it keeps trying to be music....
Hello, Twitter! It's Barack. Really! Six years in, they're finally giving me my own account.
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this is supposed to be my "fun day"—so far not that fun
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A brand-new photo from my shoot with Gray Hawn! She is absolutely fantastic! Go check out her Facebook page...😍�pic.twitter.com/hEvVyixTN0N0
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not to brag but i finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
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It's been a while since we shared the music videos from our new GOOD VIBES EP.... check out this one for "Never... fb.me/43K1W5eXj
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#eBay and #PayPal getting a divorce.... They were such a cute couple.
Almost close enough to Houston to hear @SheilaMarshall music! pic.twitter.com/51iz5IENGg
I ate the whole box of weight watchers chocolates. Let the skinny begin.
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New term for those of us in Tornado Alley: TorCon.
A sobering reminder of the job I do. youtu.be/MnmUvbgVwi8
I think Bruce Jenner is the prettiest, of all the Kardashian girls.
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Apple Watch? Oh yeah, thats how Isaac Newton figured out gravity.
Her- Should I wear my hair wavy or straight? Me- Straight. Her- Really? With that dress?! Me- Wavy. Her- Really? With that dress?
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Hey. Family of four, two tables over. Stop texting and talk to each other. Says me. Tweeting.
7 million views on youtube and over 800 subscribers and i'm still refusing to monetize. I'm either stubborn, or stupid, or both.
"I'll bring this up later" - women
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On a scale of 1 to 9,887,656,032, how dramatic do you think I am?
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A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle
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My stupid microwave quit! Now how am I sposed to grill a steak?
*mentally prepares for a massive influx of daylight savings time tweets*
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Yes. Albuquerque!
All the snow in the South has melted. So, we're done now, winter. Peace out. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here #SpringFever
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