A girl can comfortably introduce 2 guys that she's dating to each other. They be like, "My love, meet my sweetheart".
Love is when you see your GF "pooing" and don't get irritated
It is with ShoCK! that I announce to you that some enemies of progress have reduced the normal 3 fishes inside "TITUS" sardine to 2Fishes."
A mother spends about 20 years training her son.. And a girl makes him a fool in 20 minutes.. Pathetic.
Many are MAD but FEW are roaming around
Mondays r just Unnecessary Long...arghhhhhhh
To my future kids, be patient Daddy is busy searching for the best mum you'll ever have...You'll never suck a tattooed breast, I promise!
Its official,nigeria universities r in hell
If you can’t do the right thing, at least do the thing right.
My phone has more apps than contacts..lolzzz
Ruth & Esther made moves on the men they eventually married. They are the only women with books of the bible in their name. woo a man 2day..
Out of all the lies I’ve told, “Just kidding” is my favorite.
This one Tecno now runs on Android and BBM's coming over. China na still China. PINGS gonna' be sounding like Bomb blast
BADLUCK is when you go to a herbalist to help you charm a guy,only for him to be the guy's father,just like glo ur madness go dey UNLIMITED
Dnt start an argument with a girl cs they all v 43050194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:27PM on 23/04/2009
there's a reason your boyfreind doesn't take pictures with you.So pls dont force it with *PICMIX*
Yoruba People SHOUT Over The Phone, Igbo people LIE Over The Phone, Hausa people call WRONG Numbers."
Laziness reaches the highest standard of quality on Sundays.
: i'm not sure if samsung is making phones to fit a human's ear or an elephant's ear ??"
That awkward silence when Abraham and isaac were walking home after he tried to sacrifice him...Abraham: I love u son , Isaac: If I hear!!!"
Wat more can I say.."WoMen" pic.twitter.com/LCwLM3vqe5
. At times, I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear in bubbles over our heads.
Nigerian uncles be like.... aah Ada, u are now a big girl oh! ehhhh! turn around.... oya come n sit on my laps..
Good thing I’m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.
If someone says “I love you” and you don’t feel the same way, just say “I love YouTube” really fast.
“And the rest is history.” -Lazy history teacher
: ASUU STRIKE is 74Days+X. Find X."
No matter how bad you are, you're not useless. You can still be used as a bad example.
I'm tired of saying sorry everyday because i keep doing the same thing over and over again but i'm really sorry :'(
She said she is studying at Birmingham university UK but she came home because of the ASUU strike 😳"
Girls who say, "a lot of guys are after me", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers."
5th grade: "so did you kiss her?!" 11th grade: "so did you **** her?!""
Don't build an MFM church near a petrol station."
That Awkward Moment when the Bank Manager realizes that d 'Twitter Celeb' he has been begging for a follow bk is his 15yr old
Webometric ranks OAU as best University in Nigeria, 8th in Africa | Your #1 source for Nigerian News sunnewsonline.net/news/webometri…
How can u lose ur mum and at the reception of her burial u paint ur lips red, wit better high heel n snap pinshure wit peace sign!!!!Hian
If any girl boldly tells you that her favorite food is EBA in this era,put a ring on her finger... She's original.. Wife material 100 yards.
U take picture, e no fine, u come dey claim say 'beauty is from within' .... Why u no take X-ray?"
It’s like all Bold4 owners met and decided the phone looks better with a cracked screen."
Why can't bank doors have Theme songs like "Wizkid's Samba" Or "Iyanya's Kukere" Instd of dat mystical shii they play
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = how far na
Tweets: 226415 Followers: 25208 Following: 6425....Account Bal: N2.25k CGPA: 00.2...bros your in a mess!! Quit Twitter...
I'm not competing with Anybody... If YOU get there before Me... Congratulations..... Life is an Express Road and overtaking is allowed."
No matter how expensive your Wrist watch is, as long as it won't tell you Christ's Second coming, its as Useless as the "p"in Psych."
Dear God, thank you for today, yesterday, and tomorrow. My family, my joys, my sorrows. For all that made me stronger.
The awkward moment when u realize that Lil Wayne's teeth are more expensive than your house.
Dad, how does it feel having the best son in the world? I don't know, ask your grandfather."
Using 'etc.' in an exam to make it seem like you know more, when you really don't.