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Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
I’m paranoid because
they’re out to get me.
If they weren’t out to get me,
then I wouldn’t be paranoid.
First in the deck:
Give him a peck
On his face.
He's an ace.
I read about a girl from Texas
who received the Humility Medal.
But they took it away from her,
because she wore it.
I saw a sign: “Baby On Board”
I looked up. Sure enough,
I saw a baby sitting on top
of a 10 foot two by four.
Dear Mr. Arabica,
You make nice cup of coffee.
c/o Eight O'Clock Coffee
1. eating peanut butter & jelly
2. playing cornhole
3. kissing my wife
BOSS: “I’m like the angle opposite the hypotenuse.”
ME: “How so?”
BOSS: “I’m always right.”
A fish ... can't write his name or read a book
To fool people is his only thought
Though he's slippery, he still gets caught
With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future.
I live now.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Things aren't always @000000
There is beauty in simplicity.
Quality is the best business plan.
A writer is known by the words he keeps.
An artisan is known by the design he keeps.
Fred went to sleep
In a feather bed
His toes turned black
His nose turned red
And in the morning
Fred was dead
Man to Waitress: “I’d like a coffee and two bear claws.”
Then a grizzly burst into the diner and killed him.
Moral: Be careful what you wish
Some cats are killed by curiosity
Others by rambunctious shenanigans
She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped and crackled. Now she's ready to pop.
--ELAINE on Ally McBeal
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do...
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Could you be my partner every night?
~Holyfield & House (Anne Murray song)
All great change in America begins at the dinner table.
Have you ever seen a bee with an itch?
Or seen a frog drinking tea in a ditch?
Broken hands on broken plows,
Broken treaties, broken vows,
Broken pipes, broken tools,
People bending broken rules.
We never know the worth of water
until the well is dry.
FUDDLE BE GONE
from your house
will set you free.
from your mind
will let you see.
Our way is not soft grass, it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upward, forward, toward the sun.
Today I met the Frito Bandito. I was shocked when he told me that he HATES Frito's corn chips. Maybe he was kidding, but I don't think so.
Do it right or
do it over.
Quality workmanship matters.
Good things happen
to those who bait.
Gone fishin' --
Catch you later.
Man plans and God laughs.
Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker.
Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder.
Music gets louder. Life gets better.
I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Label on Batman costume...
Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
The more he ate, the hungrier he got.
So he ate and ate and ate a lot,
And had to be buried in a double plot.
Curiosity killed the cat
But you are not a cat
Temperature is 103
So much sweat I cannot see
I'm more uptight than Robert E. Lee
But she said:
Don't sweat it or fret it
Don't cigarette it
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Use design as a framework to bring order out of chaos.
The letdown of poor quality remains long after
the giddiness of a cheap price is forgotten.
Throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
She dropped her hot dog in my pizza
as I closed my eyes.
Now that #HotDogPizza
Oh, what a surprise!
If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
For T & R, every day is #nationalkissingday
Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
Many folks value pro bono work.
Popularity is not an indication of quality.
Henry David Thoreau ... taller than trees
What would life be
if we had no courage
to attempt anything?
~Vincent Van Gogh