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Tom & Robin
Peaches: “Shake your groove thing.” Herb: “I can’t. My groove thing is in a sling, ‘cause I tripped on yo chicken wing.”
There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ~Leo Tolstoy
My pen name is Tom Wheeler. My pencil name is Tom Whackadelfinstein (being harder to spell, need an eraser in case of a mistake).
My time machine does not work in the past. But it does work in the future. Well, it’ll take you there, but VERY slowly.
Wear tank tops. Support the right to bare arms.
The earth has music for those who listen. ~Shakespeare
In youth, folks called him Rocky; Middle-aged, they called him Mr. Rockford. Now an old man, he pleads, “Call me Rocky.”
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. ~David Frost
A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn
The ultimate inspiration is the deadline. ~Nolan Bushnell
Well, there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom".
I don't believe in skeptics.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
Art is never finished only abando pic.twitter.com/0kTbzvr0TQ
Poor mathematician Randy! He always gave 110%, but still got fired.
SON: Would you punish me for something I didn't do? MOM: Of course not. SON: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Designers can create normalcy out of chaos; they can clearly communicate ideas through the manipulating of words and pictures. ~Jeffery Veen
Creativity is intelligence having fun. ~Albert Einstein pic.twitter.com/4uXwWJHSeW
Last night I went to a hotel. The doorman refused to let me in: “This is Hotel Real. We don’t like dreamers.” When I woke up, I was mad.
If you take a bite out of the first letter of the word EAT, what do you get? FAT weird!
I like the simple life, the way it used to be; We left our doors wide open, we didn't need no key. ~ LYNYRD SKYNYRD
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials. Lin Yutang
I am one with nature. Please join me, and we will be two with nature.
You are about to enter another dimension... A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone! ~Rod Serling
Simplicity and repose are the qualities that measure the true value of any work of art. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
The good news: Your life is unique, like a snowflake. The bad news: Your life is transient, like a snowflake.
The earth laughs in flowers. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Baby-Faced Fatty Left son in car to die Now facing trial The tweet you have just seen is true The name was changed to protect the guilty
Groan! Groan! Sounds like a moan, Maybe it's Al Capone. Croak! Croak! Sounds from an oak, I think a frog just spoke.
She forgot the funny button on her blouse. All day she felt stares from beastly men. “I must be irresistible,” she thought, mistakenly.
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. ~Edward Abbey
The word hammockable (describing two trees perfect distance apart to hang a hammock) is not in the dictionary, but it should be. ~Dan Kieran
Buckets of grain, Buckets of pairs, Got all them buckets fallin' down the stairs. ~Bob Dylan twist (Buckets of Rain)
They stood beside the treasure On the mountain dark & red Turned the stone, looked beneath "Peace on Earth" was all it said. ~Lambert/Potter
The brain is amazing. It works 24/7, beginning at your birth and ending when you fall in love.
Clutter and confusion are failures of design, not attributes of information. ~Edward Tuft
I've got a pet peeve. He’s so cute. He's more loyal than a dog, more playful than a cat.
Love Is Fire... Sometimes warming your heart Sometimes burning down your house
Go away from my pickup, Leave at your chosen pace. I'm not the one you want, babe, And I don’t like your face. ~Twist of It Ain’t Me, Babe
Do not fear when your enemies criticize you. Beware when they applaud. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia Up in my bedroom I got up to wash my face When I come back Someone's taken my place ~Paul Simon
I dream of Jeannie with the frightful stare; She snorts like a pig, then roars like a bear. ~apologies to Stephen C. Foster
What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. ~John Steinbeck
My teacher told me: "If you have something to say, raise your hand, then place it over your mouth."
He was as useless as the P in his nickname (Psycho).
Worst Rhymes #124: A dog is Goofy; A horse is hoofy. A squirrel is nutty; JLo is butty.
Fluttering about, a butterfly overheard a caterpillar say, "I don't believe in Metamorphosis. It's nonsense." This made the butterfly smile.
It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. ~Herman Melville