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Tom & Robin
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~J. Paul Getty
A person who is fundamentally honest doesn't need a code of ethics. ~Harry S. Truman
I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some happy booze. But she just smiled and said, That ain’t the way Don McLean sings it.
artist, writer, this weird thing...
Old age is no place for sissies. ~Bette Davis
Rejected TV Show Titles: The Twilight Bone Star Wreck The Brady Crunch Quantum Leak Breaking Dad Mork and Bendy
The whale jumped out of the ocean, and ran down the street. Now that was amazing because most whales don’t have feet.
I don’t know why everybody wanna die rich... I’ve never seen a hearse with a trailer hitch. ~Kristian Bush
Those who dance are thought to be quite insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~Angela Monet
If pictures of cute puppies don't make you smile, then your name is Lucifer.
I read that before writing, there was oral history. Not sure if it’s about a society’s dental methods or their sexual exploits.
Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common. ~Satchel Paige
A man who works with his hands & his brain is a craftsman; a man who works with his hands & his brain & his heart is an artist. ~Louis Nizer
Stat Fact: Most who say "This is not my first rodeo" have never even been to a rodeo.
Most people think the art of Leonardo is great. But I think it’s awful. He’s a pretty good actor, though.
Peaches: “Shake your groove thing.” Herb: “I can’t. My groove thing is in a sling, ‘cause I tripped on yo chicken wing.”
There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ~Leo Tolstoy
My pen name is Tom Wheeler. My pencil name is Tom Whackadelfinstein (being harder to spell, need an eraser in case of a mistake).
My time machine does not work in the past. But it does work in the future. Well, it’ll take you there, but VERY slowly.
Wear tank tops. Support the right to bare arms.
The earth has music for those who listen. ~Shakespeare
In youth, folks called him Rocky; Middle-aged, they called him Mr. Rockford. Now an old man, he pleads, “Call me Rocky.”
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. ~David Frost
A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn
The ultimate inspiration is the deadline. ~Nolan Bushnell
Well, there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom".
I don't believe in skeptics.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
Art is never finished only abando
Poor mathematician Randy! He always gave 110%, but still got fired.
SON: Would you punish me for something I didn't do? MOM: Of course not. SON: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Designers can create normalcy out of chaos; they can clearly communicate ideas through the manipulating of words and pictures. ~Jeffery Veen
Creativity is intelligence having fun. ~Albert Einstein
Last night I went to a hotel. The doorman refused to let me in: “This is Hotel Real. We don’t like dreamers.” When I woke up, I was mad.
If you take a bite out of the first letter of the word EAT, what do you get? FAT weird!
I like the simple life, the way it used to be; We left our doors wide open, we didn't need no key. ~ LYNYRD SKYNYRD
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials. Lin Yutang
I am one with nature. Please join me, and we will be two with nature.
You are about to enter another dimension... A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone! ~Rod Serling
Simplicity and repose are the qualities that measure the true value of any work of art. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
The good news: Your life is unique, like a snowflake. The bad news: Your life is transient, like a snowflake.
The earth laughs in flowers. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Baby-Faced Fatty Left son in car to die Now facing trial The tweet you have just seen is true The name was changed to protect the guilty
Groan! Groan! Sounds like a moan, Maybe it's Al Capone. Croak! Croak! Sounds from an oak, I think a frog just spoke.
She forgot the funny button on her blouse. All day she felt stares from beastly men. “I must be irresistible,” she thought, mistakenly.
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. ~Edward Abbey