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prison mike
this is sick. how the fuck is not being raped considered "goals" now this should be an expectation
Retweeted by prison mike
So glad Halloween is over so now people can go back to posting selfies of their stupid regular faces.
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it's literally SO EASY to be something funny & non-offensive for halloween yet people decide to anyway, i don't get it
how fucked up are you to think that's at all funny or a good idea? disabilities are not costumes
i normally don't get offended too easily but yesterday i saw a guy dressed as a blind man for halloween and it was just :-/
last day at the great dane tonight, first day at sephora tomorrow 😇 it's gonna be a good week
hazelnut coffee with white chocolate raspberry creamer...why not
If you drink and drive tonight then u will most likely die and your parents will have to come identify ur body while ur dressed as a minion
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girl: ur so pretty! me: *sobs* So prECIOUS & Pure, whathav e i dOne to desERve thiS BLESISNG boy: ur so pretty! me: ok 1. i kno 2. did i ask
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this guy from my work dressed up as bob ross. he also had an art palette shaped clipboard he was taking orders on
"i am waiting for my check this week. i blew through the last one" "what'd you buy?!" "a dildo...and pizza. a lot of pizza"
(i should mention it's raining)
there's a girl on the sidewalk literally holding a plastic bag over her head so she can talk on the phone..... i love madison
Whats going on with mycareer
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i hate working on halloween more than any other holiday
these are the scariest pumpkins I've ever seen omg 😱m
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i'm hyperventilating
how am i supposed to relate to this video when this girl is only using mascara and a concealer brush
shoutout to everyone on langdon that has seen my face without makeup & not filed a police report
I'm bored so I started crying
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when my makeup is slaying & i walk past a big group of girls and i can visibly see them all give me the head-to-toe glare. u jealous or nah
i could live in this sweater
i could live in this sweater
walking out of an exam knowing you failed is the best feeling 🙃
I don't trust anyone that still thinks shit from mean girls is funny
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obsessed w high buns lately
if i could do it al again i would have rabbit ears and would do fish school instead of goin to collage
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my thumb is actually sore from texting so much. i am a sad human being
the thing about me is im perd hapley
every single day i walk past chocolate shoppe & every single day i am tempted to buy 5 pints of ice cream
why is everyone prettier than me ☚ī¸
Who is better for the American presidency?
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praying work is dead tonight because i have absolutely zero energy
you can definitely tell who was sheltered in high school by how crazy they act in college...
*good thing comes into my life* me: *ruins it*
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when ur @ the drive thru and order ice cream but they say they can't make it because they're cleaning the machine
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i just spend $20 i don't have on chinese food but its fine
the best insult ever is "who is this clown" because 1. you're calling them a clown 2. you're saying they're not even a well known clown
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having to study for an exam while you're sad is the worst feeling :(
*calls into work* sorry I am wrapped in a blanket cocoon I cannot come in tonight
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College is a vicious cycle b/c you drink coffee to fight off exhaustion & when you finally get the chance to sleep you can't b/c of caffeine
Retweeted by prison mike
shoutout to all of the people pulling out their heavy winter jackets when it's only 40 degrees...good luck in 2 months when it's -20

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