Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
michael scarn
comedy twitter 1,973 followers
The naked female body is treated so weirdly in society. It’s like people are constantly begging to see it, but once they do, someone’s a hoe
Retweeted by michael scarn
  5h
slut shaming is so boring you are so boring if u haven't understood that slut isn't an insult anymore
Retweeted by michael scarn
  5h
"I'm really hoping I don't get sorted into Slytherin" - Hogwarts
Retweeted by michael scarn
  6h
This little kid came up to me and said "you look like my uncle" lmao pic.twitter.com/Ha0VMy7F6G
Retweeted by michael scarn
  6h
I wish I was one of those pretty girls that always got invited places and was always hella busy 😕 I'm a dumb hoe
Retweeted by michael scarn
  6h
"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to think i have gold eyelids
Retweeted by michael scarn
  8h
its literally too hot to do anything today
God gave us two hands to hold two dicks
Retweeted by michael scarn
i really hope the "its cool to hate everyone & be bitter about everything" mindset in this generation goes away soon
let me just say that I am really happy I'm not in high school right now
Retweeted by michael scarn
"he's 936 months old" 78 Your grandpa is 78 years old
Retweeted by michael scarn
instead of turnin up every weeknd u should stay home & get on YouTube so u can learn how blend ur eyeshadow & get ur wing eyeliner right🐸☕️
Retweeted by michael scarn
when my friends ask me 2 go swimming pic.twitter.com/00qo5olFE9
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, AND IT IS SOMEWHAT INCONVENIENT BECAUSE I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR COMPANY AT THE MOMENT.
Retweeted by michael scarn
very in love w my life at the moment
my boyfriend & i are sitting on our laptops next 2 each other, i get up to get water & he says "why are you leaving?" it was v cute
ramen at 11 pm, the college life is real
I am so happy I'm not in high school anymore like this is the happiest I've been about it so far
Retweeted by michael scarn
when republicans talk about homosexuality pic.twitter.com/sNq5D9FH4i
"if you have the ability to love, love yourself first"
Will donate $0.25 to ALS research for every retweet until 9:23AM tomorrow
Retweeted by michael scarn
cant decide if its funny or obnoxious that when people get their first iphone they take a million selfies & put emojis after everything
if you make fun of kim kardashian for having a sex tape, youre dumb & this is why. im so happy someone said it pic.twitter.com/Rmzca5aFa3