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Tom Nash
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Tip for Black Friday sales vultures: if it has blood on it when you get to the cash register, you can get even more money off the list price
Twitter adding the option to send to DM or share a promoted tweet is charmingly optimistic, really. But no- dismiss, dismiss, DISMISS.
Sometimes young boys on Facebook send me rape threats, so I've started telling their mothers.
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Evidence right there as to why people fill me with hate.
United Kingdom you deserve every bit of shit they throw at you.
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#MentionPeopleYouAreThankfulFor John Logie Baird. The penicillin bloke. Tesla/Edison/whoever did electricity first. The inventor of bacon.
.@tutandgroan on course to views in 3 figures today. You can prevent it solely being greasy reddit users:
r/funny is a tough crowd. No use arguing that humour is subjective over there.
No new pieces today, so let's enjoy some 'classics', like Overdrawn.…
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@thewritetomnash that's like you calling yourself Tom Nash Human.
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These sites really need a 'fuck right off and stay there' button.
LinkedIn suggests I connect with someone who taken the time to add BA Hons to their name... Eurgh
If you haven't, BOOOOOOO. Don't worry though, you can make it up now...
My crappy cartoons have had their most popular day ever. Thanks if you've clicked a @tutandgroan link I have forced upon you. You're dreamy.
Someone replied to a tweet I posted 3 years ago... K.
Son: Why do giraffes have long necks? Me: I'll find out. *googles* Giraffes' necks allow them to reach... Son: [sadly] Cos their feet smell.
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Our busiest day for traffic ever. Thank you if you've clicked a link. What you waiting for if not???
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Darren Bent might want to look up the definition of hubris.
Wish I had Tivo. Tim Lovejoy just asked a guest if where they live gets lots of midges, the subtitles said "lots of mid-Jews."
Made a Reddit account. Shall be posting the toons on there whenever I feel brave. Cock Fight up first
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Twitter anger grows as angry people blast other people for not being angry enough.
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Ooh - "writer required". Oh, "waiter required".
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"You're making me look good. Thanks, Cortana." It *really* isn't, fuckchops.
Also added a contact form for suggestions, for those too shy to interact on here:
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Want to pick up middle aged women without trying? Get a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Graham's like catnip to them...
A lot can change in 23 years. Not in the US though, of course.
Dude who featured on today's edition favourited that. NOT SORRY.
Posted on Reddit. Nobody's been mean. Yay!
When literal titles become the norm, I vote Fake Britain should change to 'Fucking Idiots Get Duped'.
Fake Britain is possibly the funniest show the BBC has made for a looooong time.
Feeling masochistic- might post a link to @tutandgroan on Reddit.
What if- What if Yannick Bolasie *does* know what he's doing? Give him some fucking credit.
Joe Ledley's beard is amazing.
Liverpool were timewasting 10 minutes into the game today. They weren't with 10 minutes to go... *GRINS* #cpfc
Maybe read that without the question mark at the end. ?
Don't David Beckham's advert friends look like a bunch of wankers?
Steve Backshall is a dreamboat.
Not sure what species Barry Manilow looks like these days, but it ain't human, that's for sure.
No new cartoon today, so here's a reminder of yesterday's. Bee Direct.
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The focus will be on how poor #LFC were but #CPFC were a unit today, outplayed them (despite the ref's best efforts) and deserved the win.