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Tom Nash
Imagine being in your 50s and still throwing your toys out of your pram when things don't go exactly your way...
Grown men who throw tantrums and hang up on you are fun.
Getting my Blofeld on.
Imagine inspiring these emotions in anyone. He must have been an amazing man. Bloody hell, ALL the tears…
Retweeted by Tom Nash
BOOM- carbon monoxide reading of 2. Worries unfounded.
Could just hope the carbon monoxide reading isn't any higher...
Do I tell the stop smoking lady about all the bong licks?
This horrificness has just followed the work account. Eurgh.
Ivy and the world's most irritating dog pupdate
Next dude was bringing his dad. Now he's got a mechanic friend who can't make the times I've suggested. Wah.
Told him I'd even take a monkey. Hope he enjoys riding the bus.
Dude backed out of buying the missus' car as there are a couple of dents and scratches on the rear bumper. It's up for £600... Prick.
But he is Sol Campbell...
Bake and read time.
Selling cars is a pain in the arse.
Whoever wins, the star of this year's #Masterchef is Greg's coldsore.
Seven days tobacco-free.
Here's a new poem called "At the Intersection", which I have written in the form of a venn diagram.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Selling the missus's car. It has attracted many a time waster.
Who are Br*ghton playing this pre-season?…
Matte black cars. Don't get it. They look unfinished.
Angry Twitter today. Justifiably so but tiring reading. May go and hide on @tutandgroan.
Geezer I work with is so Croydon, this is how he spells 'easier'. Love it.
EBay works on mobile data but not wifi. This is a good con.
I painted my stairs
The brilliant @paizybones did a guest toon for us and it is awesome.… Thanks Pais!!
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Free bag of some fucker's shredding with the paint I bought on eBay. I am smashing this Saturday.
So tennis doesn't have to be sterile and boring. Who knew?
Hope nobody from Wimbledon is watching the #DavisCup coverage. Football chants, music, people ENJOYING themselves. Fucking outrageous...
Ian Beale's stye. Greg Wallace's cold sore. What a time to be alive.
No, seriously... fucking listen to this right now:
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Nice piece here at @HuffPostUK on Palace becoming the hipster's choice of the Premier League…? #cpfc
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Just witnessed my neighbour's hella intricate OCD-car-locking procedure. This day's leave was worth it for that alone.
Telling me about an awesome paint I should be using when I'm halfway through priming my staircase- fantastic but slightly annoying.
Knowing builders is great. Loads of useful tips and product knowledge.
First day on patches. Feeling twitchy already.
Using the word "scab" will be outlawed under the new Trade Union Bill. Just in case you were wondering how petty the bill actually is.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Because we all know that Jesus is a Palace fan.

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