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Tom Nash
Just found this at the folks' gaff. Best before date mid 2007. Kept next to the Roundup, of course.
Toughest kid at my school was this guy called Barbara.
Suge Knight has a history of violence. Suge Knight's real forename is Marion. I believe these things could be connected.
Cuntblocked them in case they think I want to continue the conversation...
Do corporate account workers get told to reply with smug, patronising, passive aggression? Yet to see one that doesn't...
.@ToyotaGB fuck off, faceless agency worker.
Eurgh, corporate accounts. Eurgh, searching for yourself.
@thewritetomnash Cheer up Tom. Ever considered the person that takes the money is different to the person that serves the food?
Retweeted by Tom Nash
How does that Toyota Aygo pay for the food from the drive thru? Bunch of arse.
Katie Piper and the Dingleberries on 4. Yaaaaaaaay!
Accidently wandered into a part of town where passersby say "good evening" rather than avoiding eye contact. Deeply unnerving.
Told my mum that 80 cartoons are up on @tutandgroan now. "Are they all about bees?" was the response. No, Mum. No.
Jerry Orbach and Admiral Akbar (the copper from Terminator that isn't Lance Henriksson) in Murder She Wrote. Awesome.
Builders next door did 15 minutes of work at 9am and have been in their van 'reading' The S*n ever since. Might ask them for a job...
(It's a lot. And gross)
Just realised I can quantify how much the dog loves me by counting the eye bogies he rubs on my trouser leg.
Shola Ameobi? No thank you.
Turns out there's a sign about it but some kind citizen has smashed off the important part. Helpful.
Chucking a ball about for the dog right in the middle of the airfield. Slowly dawns on me that *everyone else* is circling the edge. Fear.
#FoodUnwrapped should be 5 minutes long and just someone googling the answers to their stupid questions. It's a £100 fix for a £5 problem.
Who's the target audience for #FoodUnwrapped? Three year olds? Not sure I've heard a more patronising narration.
Pro #SnoopersCharter peer: "I don’t know what Whatsapp or Twitter are, but the terrorists do." So much wrong in one simple sentence.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
My jeans shrunk in the wash and are now a bit tight. I also now understand why many young men are so angry.
You'd think gate opening ability would be brought up early, like during application or interviewing or something...
Loosened the babygate so Ooof the fairy elephant @RoyalMail postman wouldn't break it again and the mouthbreathing supercock still managed.
Go Greece! Greece shows us there is another way. When the economy is broken, we don't have to blame its victims but those who broke it.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Elected government vows to represent its own people's interests rather than those of the bankers, multinationals & super rich: causes crisis
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Reminder: Never trust any story based on an MP's own survey. The questions tend to be a BIT loaded: (via @bristling)
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Aaaaaaaand done. Thanks for your patience.
In the process of overloading your timeline with cartoons (loosest meaning of the word) I did this week over at @tutandgroan.
Proper cartoonists what can draw are sharing and favouriting @tutandgroan toons. 👍
Debut album COLD WINTER by Sheisty Khrist x Lofidel NOW AVAILABLE. --->
Retweeted by Tom Nash