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Tom Nash
Paranoid now. Hope I don't sound like that.
Eurgh. So, so Croydon. One of the reasons I headed West to find my match.
Matey boy won X Factor, now some other person I forgot about is on First Dates. Edenham High School reprazentin'.
We won't judge you if you don't know what petrichor is. Our predictive text didn't. It's the smell after it rains.
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Lady from Yahoo trying to sell me search result ads. Heh.
Don't doubt that Dishface can get fucked though.
Would like a source to that, mind you.
Irony is dead. MT @Busty1956: Someone needs to read David Cameron's own quote back to him:
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.@LaylaBennett Any other way is sociopathic!
When you read out your mobile number, do you break it into 5-3-3 digits brackets like a decent human or some other fucked up way?
I'm typing this using bloody wrist stumps having gnawed my fists completely off in sheer embarrassment.…
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These trampy fucks think it's ok to sit outside people's houses and gob everywhere, @yourcroydon. Pretty nasty.
If you're in the Croydon area and are having something fragile delivered by DHL, matey boy is flying over the speed humps. Expect breakages.
We're over 130 toons deep now. Lose yourself in terrible line drawings at
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"But I am Sol Campbell." Odd story about the former footballer in today's Observer...
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I've just renewed my season ticket for #cpfc. Do I *have to* tweet Steve Parish?
Listen to the faceless garage, people. They be preaching.
Our friends @tutandgroan draw funny comics & have over 130 on their site. If you need a smile they are worth a visit:
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The most valuable aspect was realising how glad I am that I don't run a business based off page views and ad impressions.
$50 (£36) free ads on Facebook got @tutandgroan 60 new likes and 200 website views from 10000ish impressions. Is that good? Fuck knows
I have real sympathy for the England team, playing with that racket in the background: my colleagues like Kisstory.
Is that shitty 'band' at the football? Glad I'm not watching.
Weirdest pronunciation of the word 'does' ever. #masterchef
If Scott Dann was playing for #ManUtd and Phil Jones for #cpfc who do you think would be playing for England tonight.
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People are weird.
"Good afternoon, company I work for." "Hello Croydon Guardian, I want to speak to a journalist." "We sell shutters and blinds." *hangs up*
Terrible grammar. Delete delete delete. Kind regards Tom Nash GCSE, NVQ, BA (Hons.), MA
Bet he wears sunglasses indoors.
This geezer has signed off an email with 'His Name BSc (Hons)'... Prick.
Regretting decision to try and fit in with the cool kids at work today. Feet. Are. Freezing.
Sitting in the T&G Super Secret Volcano Lair with fingers in ears, avoiding all the politics. We like to keep things light, you see.
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Just noticed the money Admiral Insurance stole off us has disappeared again, with the transaction credited to 'mydispute debit'. The fuck?
Last RT. Totally my fav lip balm at the moment. *Squee*
Much cringe. Channel change.
So this is pretty painful to watch.
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The cunt keeps saying things "We would LIKE to do blah... blah... blah..." Well fucking DO it then. Lying prick. #battlefornumber10
Retweeted by Tom Nash