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Tom Nash
Whoever wins, the star of this year's #Masterchef is Greg's coldsore.
Seven days tobacco-free.
Here's a new poem called "At the Intersection", which I have written in the form of a venn diagram.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Selling the missus's car. It has attracted many a time waster.
Who are Br*ghton playing this pre-season?…
Matte black cars. Don't get it. They look unfinished.
Angry Twitter today. Justifiably so but tiring reading. May go and hide on @tutandgroan.
Geezer I work with is so Croydon, this is how he spells 'easier'. Love it.
EBay works on mobile data but not wifi. This is a good con.
I painted my stairs
Free bag of some fucker's shredding with the paint I bought on eBay. I am smashing this Saturday.
So tennis doesn't have to be sterile and boring. Who knew?
Hope nobody from Wimbledon is watching the #DavisCup coverage. Football chants, music, people ENJOYING themselves. Fucking outrageous...
Ian Beale's stye. Greg Wallace's cold sore. What a time to be alive.
No, seriously... fucking listen to this right now:
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Nice piece here at @HuffPostUK on Palace becoming the hipster's choice of the Premier League…? #cpfc
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Just witnessed my neighbour's hella intricate OCD-car-locking procedure. This day's leave was worth it for that alone.
Telling me about an awesome paint I should be using when I'm halfway through priming my staircase- fantastic but slightly annoying.
Knowing builders is great. Loads of useful tips and product knowledge.
First day on patches. Feeling twitchy already.
Using the word "scab" will be outlawed under the new Trade Union Bill. Just in case you were wondering how petty the bill actually is.
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Because we all know that Jesus is a Palace fan.
Was WELL up for this until I saw the location...
Silent Pea (the first toon we thought up & the one that kicked off this whole malarkey)
Retweeted by Tom Nash
Do you have to be a throbbing bellend to live in Mitcham or is it just a happy coincidence?
There's nothing quite like cleaning dog vomit off your handbrake to start the week off on a high note.
Fucking mean cold sore on Greg Wallace.
I feel sorry for fans of other football clubs. It is an EXTREMELY FUCKING EXCITING time to follow #cpfc.
Like, terrifying 'you need to make some serious lifestyle changes' high. Glum.
Ya boy has crazy high carbon monoxide levels, yo.
Did ya see? We've got our first few items for sale on our brand spanking new Redbubble store…
Retweeted by Tom Nash

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