I would like to take this moment to announce that @chelseahandler
is my role model. That is all.
Speed limits. Do they really keep people safe?
Born into darkness
I only bleed poetry when they rattle my cage. Complacency is hardly conducive to the arts.
Fear is not a subtle captor. It grips you by the throat and breaks your bones. In a single moment the universe implodes.
It's deeply distressing that the government is putting oil industry profits ahead of Native Americans' rights, clea… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…
If you work 40 hours a week you should not live in poverty. The struggle continues. Raise the minimum wage to a living wage – $15 an hour.
Sleep deprivation makes my ears ring.
Stevie Nicks uses a flip phone & doesnt have her drivers license. I dont know how I feel about this
Sea creatures are terrifying
Stevie coined the phrase during a convo. Someone said "age of 17", misheard it as "edge of 17" and she said it sounded badass & used it. 😠
I think next week will be 4 days of #Idiotest
audience work. Because @bengleib
jokes are THAT good.
K Crims aka K$
Keep people in your life who truly love you, motivate you, and make you happy. If you know people who do none of these things, let them go.
When your second favorite poet ever, in the existence of poets, follows & comments on your instagram. 😱�po
Boyfriend. Im a lucky girl
So, editing is harder than I thought. First video in the morning. Here's the channel for now youtube.com/channel/UCcWMx…
New direction. New chapter. Feeling good about it.
When you lie awake at night, thinking about all his cute quirks and realize you're smiling like an idiot... 🤓🙊
Everyone's showing their true colors this week.✌
That amazing moment when your AGENT blocks you on Facebook because you have a boyfriend. Super professional.
According to @Will_Weiner
I don't look like a foot! Yesss.
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you
Ive been surviving exclusively off of Del Taco & Dominos. I need to rethink my approach to photoshoots.
Someone in nashville ordered me a pizza and i have a photoshoot with the dtla porsche dealership this sunday. Hmmmmm.
ObiWan Kenboni ready to hand out some candy! #halloween
Just got a call from a telemarketer, once he realized I was the same Ken Bone from the Internet he kinda forgot why he called.
Most commonly heard phrase today: "Who'd you vote for?" Followed closely by "You look like that one guy from the debate."
Yep, I sure do.
Still waiting for @SenSanders
to put on his superhero outfit & take Gotham back.
My aura is a lovely shade of anxiety
I look like Ozzy Osbourne.
A clump of christmas lights just fell from the ceiling and smacked me in the face. That would happen to me.
Things I did today: play flute, play harmonica, kill a mite infestation, drag a pumpkin down the hall in a trash bag, eat gummy bears.
Torn between trying to sleep and doing something productive. Ineedsleep. 🌀🚮
I mean, come onnn 👽👹vdW
Hook, line & sinker. 🙊w
There was a double-blind placebo controlled trial surrounding a man with beef induced epilepsy.
I just learned an important life lesson about apple cider vinegar the hard way.
I was terrorized by a spider
My hot new mixtape is coming out. It's titled, "Death & Dishes"
There's a feeling that walking through a graveyard gives you. It can't quite be replicated by much of anything else.
Try again. Fail again. Fail better. & if you're me: repeat indefinitely.