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brock murley
My right arm doesn't look like it's connected to my torso correctly. #beard #weird
Selling my car. Please buy me. 1996 Daewoo Espero Sedan $1,000 o.n.o.,
⌚ (@ JB Hi-Fi in Camberwell, VIC)
In hindsight, wearing my 'Life. Be in it.' t-shirt to a funeral was a bad move. It wasn't black.
Anyone want to buy my car before I put it up on gumtree?
SOCIAL: Former soapie star launches porn website.
Retweeted by brock murley
At some point, you just have to give in and let the dingo eat your baby. #acceptance.
Retweeted by brock murley
Another ‘date’. Another ‘just friends’. I must be getting closer to ‘I want to fuck your brains out’.
I'm the 'surprise special guest' at all gigs between now and comedy festival. Sorry everyone.
Retweeted by brock murley
⌚ (@ Melbourne Central - @melbcentral in Melbourne, VIC)
How I did on Twitter this week: 1 Mentions, 818 Mention Reach, 14 Retweets. How'd your week go? via
Candy Crush Soda Saga gave me diabetes. :(
BREAKING: Rupert Murdoch to kill 12 of his staff members to improve struggling newspaper circulation.
Retweeted by brock murley
My morning ritual using starts in the afternoon.
You know what’s better than sex? Free sex, that’s what!
Tweet like no one is reading.
I need a tiger pic to really up my Tinder game.
BREAKING: Man in balaclava goes skiing.
Retweeted by brock murley
WORLD: Dad sends his son to daycare with drugs instead of lunch. Says he was just preparing him for HIGH school.
Retweeted by brock murley
Today was pretty good. Tomorrow will be even better. #positweet
Release the hounds! And by hounds I mean bowels.
⌚ (at @westfield Doncaster in Doncaster, VIC)
⌚ (@ Eureka Rebellion Trading in Collingwood, VIC)
⌚ (@ Impresso cafe in West Melbourne, Vic)
⌚ (at @westfield Doncaster in Doncaster, VIC)
Any photographers in Melbourne want to shoot me? I'd like to start a portfolio. Not sure how to go about it. Please RT.
My beard just saved some chocolate from falling to the floor. #winning
Heads up peeps, I'll be leaving the house tomorrow.
Does anyone know if Rob Zombie has showered yet?
My bed functions as a chair, computer desk, table and sometimes even a bed.
I'd just like to thank all camels for tomorrow.
I got 66 problems and being upside down is 1
Retweeted by brock murley
Aww shucks. RT @JoelMadden: If you were wondering, the answer is yes. i do love you.
Well today is a write off. Bring on Wednesday.
WORLD: Man caught smuggling 94 iphones strapped to his body into China. He received a bad reception when he landed.
Retweeted by brock murley
Motivation levels have flat lined.
FAMILY: 2 thirds of parents admit they can't help their children with homework because it's too difficult. The rest just don't give a shit.
Retweeted by brock murley
I had to because I wanted to wear shorts. RT @AmLizabeth: I regret cutting my long hair off.