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TheBloggess
writingcomedy 386,692 followers
@TheBloggess holding new babies is the only tonic for grief other than time
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...Nights like these are the ones that get you through mornings like tomorrow.
...and who make you eat too much food, and make you laugh even when you're crying....
...and people are flying in and driving down and you find yourself in an unexpected room full of people who make you hold new babies...
That amazing moment when you think there will only be a few of you at the funeral and then suddenly it's the night before...
thebloggess.com/2014/09/your-e… "Come closer. Your soul smells DELICIOUS."
Related: I think I'm taking up embroidery.
Several ppl think it's a nod to "On Wednesdays We Mend". This is what I found when I was researching that one: pinterest.com/pin/2636717531…
I'm reading your brilliant guesses and giggling madly. I so needed that, you guys. Thank you, you magnificent freaks.
@TheBloggess It symbolizes the woman's shackled nature in the home to domestic work, in this case the needle and thread. Or acid.
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@TheBloggess If the W stands for "breaking wind" as I believe we can safely assume, then it's about the struggles of lassoing a fart.
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@TheBloggess reminds me of a needlepoint in a psychiatric museum. Schizophrenic lady used things in her head. Inc. phrase "hair on fire."
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Cleaning meemaw's apartment. Anyone who can decode the meaning of this dish towel wins 8,000 loose band aids. pic.twitter.com/P0X6vsUsHv
I'm really not prepared to be a responsible adult for this long. I should not be trusted to meet with funeral directors & make decisions.
thebloggess.com/2014/09/so-fra… She's gone and I don't have the words for this.
Today, for me, go tell someone how much they mean to you. Life is fragile and fleeting. Be brave with yours.
My friend @serial_writer is having a very hard struggle right now. If you can lend a kind word or help I would be grateful. #depressionlies
In case anyone is interested in a camel for the living room - he's on sale. @TheBloggess #livingroomcamel pic.twitter.com/dVuA7riSSp
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@AnneWheaton @JeriLRyan @SciencePorn Rule #1 Never read the comments. Rule #2 @TheBloggess is the exception that proves this rule.
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Probably only recognizable to the geekiest of you. It's like the hardest jigsaw puzzle ever. pic.twitter.com/q0U4CnV36T
@TheBloggess If pigeon hole tweets aren't tailored for you, who the hell are they tailored for?
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How can twitter tailor my notifications for me? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME. STOP PROTECTING ME FROM MYSELF, TWITTER.
Went to settings. The default was to not notify me of replies by everyone & only notify me of replies "as tailored for me". Um...what?
Why wouldn't "Notifications" notify me of my "Mentions"? At the very least it could have notified me of the need to click on "Mentions".
Was I supposed to do that this whole time? Was everyone else doing that? Does this explain the twine debacle? WHO HAVE I BEEN IGNORING?
Hang on. I always click "notifications" but apparently if I click "notifications" & then click "mentions" all the missing replies show up.
My tweets, replies, faves, etc. are still there. It's just that huge blocks of notifications that were there hours earlier suddenly vanish.
...Just because you want to block that conversation out doesn't mean you can just erase it from history. Except that you did. Apparently.
You can't rewrite history, twitter. @BadAstronomer & I discussed how when stuffing dead pigeons you have to go in through the hole...
It happens EVERY DAY. According to my twitter page no one responded to me when I was ranting about bad taxidermy. 6 hours of replies gone.
Am I the only one whose twitter replies constantly get eaten? I'll see them on my phone, but on my computer I'm missing 6 hours of replies.
Just noticed that when you click on the link I tweeted it suggests 5 taxidermy books, & MY MEMOIR. I've fallen into a very weird pigeonhole.
@TheBloggess Who among us hasn't done that? I mean. Er. Um . . . @CrapTaxidermy
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@TheBloggess I prefer to think that you're the world's most niche art thief and @CrapTaxidermy is your wish list.
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You should buy @CrapTaxidermy's book though. Even though they might be dangerous stalkers with telephoto lenses. amazon.com/gp/product/144…
They credited the taxidermist, and @CrapTaxidermy didn't know that I bought it. I'm not complaining. It was just surreal.
The weird thing is that it's in my unpublished collection, so I can only assume that @CrapTaxidermy has broken into my house w/ a camera.
That strange moment when you're loving @CrapTaxidermy's book & then see stuff from your personal collection in it. pic.twitter.com/rCVaxBwCD0
@TheBloggess Bury it in the garden so you may shout "YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH, DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"
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Victor thinks it's a bed post. I say it's an unlit torch/bludgeoner. We both agree that $3 is an excellent price. pic.twitter.com/X9h1KgwX7K
@TheBloggess a pirate dies and then he saves a princess. Well, he was mostly dead. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
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Teen boy starts to notice his body is changing but his dad assures him it's normal. Also, they're both werewolves. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
This kid's uncle kills his dad and leaves him in the desert to die. Oh yeah and they're all lions. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
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When Madonna's lady-stalker gets amnesia she's like "Who's that Girl? Me. I'M THAT GIRL." She's not though. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
The Governor of California is a violent German robot and he's like, "I'LL BE BACK." Spoiler: He does come back. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
A bunch of teenagers have breakfast together and they say "hey, this should totally be a club!" #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
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