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writing comedy 381,568 followers
Current poll results: 1596 ppl agree with me 1600 ppl with Victor. 2,643 ppl just want donuts.…
I'm having a very important argument with Victor and I need your input:… #DoesThisTasteColdToYou?
@TheBloggess in the airport publicly crying while reading about a woman burying her dog by herself. The people around me pretend I'm fine.
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Several planes & one lost pilot (srsly) later & I'm back in Texas. Victor & Hailey stayed up to give me hugs. There's no place like home.
@TheBloggess When she becomes a genius scientists on the road to world domination remind her that I am on her side.
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I'm sad to miss the last day but I have a small munchkin who wants to show me the robot she programmed.
Did it. And people laughed. Or pretended to. And now I can breathe. #blogher14
About to go on stage. Thank you for last night. You really helped.
For real, is it too late to give away my @BlogHer ticket? Full conference pass! #BlogHer14 I can't use it. Cc: @TheBloggess
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@TheBloggess Taking to bed is never failure! If I could, I'd declare my bed a sovereign nation.
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@TheBloggess What a lot of people don't realize about Angela Lansbury is she's an excellent kisser.
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@TheBloggess In case it makes any difference, here a picture of my cat hiding in the fridge
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It's still light out and I'm in bed for the night. Sipping hot tea & doing breathing techniques. I am the Angela Lansbury of #BlogHer14
@TheBloggess I call it "insulation". It keeps out the drafts, and drafts are no good for body or soul.
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@TheBloggess Chalk it up to the whimsy of a blanket tent!
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I'll be fine tomorrow but tonight I'm chalking up hiding under the covers as "self care" rather than "broken failure."
It's not a cry for help. It's an acknowledgement that I can't push myself too far & I'm going to try to be proud of that instead of defeated
In all seriousness, I've been fighting off a panic attack all day. I've been trying but I can't leave my hotel room.
Just realized I never credited @TheBloggess with introducing me to my husband! The comment section of her blog is dangerous, my friends.
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For those of you who are new here, I'm actually dangerously sober, in bed, reading @TheGoodDeath's book about cremation. Better than drugs.
@TheBloggess Though you have to admit it would be funny to leave the that once empty fridge absolutely packed with pot when you check out.
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I can't take pot with all this opium.
And now I'm getting DM's offering to bring me pot. I forgot I was in California. But, no, sweet enablers. I'm just joking.
Because that was a joke. I wasn't really trying to buy pot in Colorado. I don't pay for drugs.