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TheBloggess
writingcomedy 395,744 followers
@TheBloggess Saw this, thought of you. It's a kids's toy: "Be care not to remove any organs." WTF? #NightmareMaterial pic.twitter.com/H85H7tEeSA
Retweeted by TheBloggess
Frankly, these 4th graders are better dancers than I am. And own an impressive amount of boots. pic.twitter.com/EohIOpnWif
Huh. We alway just called them "muscles". pic.twitter.com/Itk51wXWe4
"So some schools don't have Boot-Scootin' Day? Then what do they line-dance to?" - Hailey (6th generation Texan) pic.twitter.com/XsOUBPELVf
Against all odds, Atticus Fish is still alive & happy. Two weeks. This is a personal fish record for me. pic.twitter.com/I3ltLzZwZH
There's a man at the bar wearing only a cowboy hat & red long-johns with an old-fashioned butt-flap... pic.twitter.com/8rztFrzhDY
Taking the Hunter S. Thompson approach to editing. @Chookooloonks & I are planning a moose heist. Please send bail. pic.twitter.com/9t24mQVlbK
Haunted hotel hints: Stay out of the dark end of the pool. Also, why is there a dark end of the pool? pic.twitter.com/HNNnx30PjF
Have you ever gone somewhere & thought, "I might be underdressed"? Oh, Texas. You never change. pic.twitter.com/0p68QM6WRb
My hair is turning grey from the back, moving forward. Hailey wants me to dye it. Victor doesn't. Can't decide. pic.twitter.com/9s9D4jEMPd
Two kids made teddy bears. One made a Jedi Giraffe named "Phillip". Guess which one is mine. pic.twitter.com/wcF24Wu82y
Prisoner #7429, aka my birthday present from Hailey. He needs a name. And an aquarium, I think. pic.twitter.com/MzLPy0hXYb
In fact, I suspect Hunter s. Thomcat is in this bed more often than I am. pic.twitter.com/H2Zv2XImw5
I hid in the guest bedroom this morning to get a bit of solitude. It didn't work as planned... pic.twitter.com/3B6N2a3yPw
@TheBloggess Thinking of you RT @Kirsten_ish: All mice of good breeding travel by lobster on Christmas Eve, 1880. pic.twitter.com/HbuOVLHfat
Retweeted by TheBloggess
I told her she looked like a princess. She was slightly offended. "I'm a Xmas elf. Obviously." Obviously. pic.twitter.com/UqzlH6A0bt
You can't see it but Hailey's actually looking at a cat scaling the inside of the tree... pic.twitter.com/iwjTqAGg3x
I tried to take a pic of Hailey & the cat but Hunter S. Thomcat paw-blocked me like I was the paparazzi. pic.twitter.com/FUaYxi31h5