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We found this dog in the side of the road. Texts I sent Victor while waiting for the owner to meet us.
Y'all. This picture of Ferris Mewler yelling at me for letting Dorothy Barker sit in his chair is giving me life.
The responses to this tweet:… I love you people so much.
At this rate Lil Schnitzel will never become immortal.
It's been 24 hours and the vampire lord has not replied to me yet. I can't get into my gmail and I'm a little concerned the vampire illuminati is now trying to destroy me.
Okay, 2017, I'm loading up on black-eyed peas and cabbage. I'm taking no chances this year.
Y'all? Your birthday wishes are made of magic. Thank you.
On following Carrie Fisher...both literally and figuratively:…
If you squint and drink and face them away from each other you can hardly tell they're broken.
@TheBloggess When you have to drop off your cat's stool sample at Christmas...
Retweeted by TheBloggess
You want to hang your stockings in my what?
Jesus, Siri. I wanted paella. Not a Pap smear.
@TheBloggess it's a real mouse house! Somehow I feel you need this.
Retweeted by TheBloggess
Wait. Hang on. I actually do have one Xmas decoration up.
Working on the last image for next year's calendar. Never work with dogs or roadkill raccoons.
Hello, Charleston. Ps. If you're a Charleston bookstore with my books tweet at me & I'll try to come sign them.
Deal of the Day: FURIOUSLY HAPPY by Jenny Lawson for $3.99:…
Retweeted by TheBloggess
Sorry. It just seems like I spend half my day on @snopes checking fake things people post in my timeline.
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