Trying to keep a blank mind is like hand feeding fish food to an alligator
Woke up after a drunk night out & received a confirmation email that my baby American alligator would arrive by UPS on Friday- Freedom HS
All I need is the gas and a lighter
You need to know that I'm a rider.. tonight we gonna set the streets on fire🔥🔥
Yes let's post our relationship problems on Facebook and then wonder why things aren't working out
If you don't like what I'm doing then get out of my life
What I mean when I say let's go hiking!!
Things happen for a reason, good people are coming into my life and the bad are leaving, I couldn't be happier.
I come up with the best ideas when I'm falling asleep
Don't think twice about it
I'm calm now but I'll still murder you
Throw a fit in my house and don't even apologize. Smfh
"what kind of relationship do you strive for?" 😍�3F
Hold my beer while I give this chimpanzee an AK47
Having a moment of clarity
Pulp fiction is the shit😂😂
Everytime my dad calls me, 30 seconds after he hangs up he butt dials me, EVERY TIME
Replace a bad habit with a worse
Faygo is for faggots and it'll stay that way
Yeah I'm gonna be wide awake for a while lol
" We steal the moon 🌚"x
The real MVP🙌🙌 this woman knows what's uptwitter.com/EmilyBarnett60…
Maybe this week will get better..😊
Can this week get shittier? Like is it a possibility? Is shittier a word?
Trying to get your crush's attention like vine.co/v/e3UEvmeeJar
A recent study confirms that Latinas can get pregnant just by being in the same room as a nigga.
Maybe I just haven't met you yet...
It's crazy how time changes people
I'd do anything for a loyal girl but I'm not an asshole soooo....
RULE #635: GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR THOSE WHO BRING VALUE
Get the fuck out of my house and throw a fit somewhere else
Weed has so much weight I be doin kush-ups
Why is it necessary to yack about bullshit in order to be comfortable??
"What are we drinking this weekend?" Me:
Watching pulp fiction, who wants to be my PIC?
I'm in such a good mood now lol what am I bipolar??????
Can problems swim? Cause I'm bout to drown them💦💦💦
Grannies got liquor!!!!🤑🤑
Summer motto: Get drunk and forget about it