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TedInJest
comedy 141,173 followers
Pete Townshend - Pinball Wizard (Live Secret Policeman's Ball 1979): youtu.be/hSNJVjpFZDs
Paul McCartney - Ram [Full Album, Digital Remastered]: youtu.be/x7SfpIlLYCI
Here's an unusual video I made: vimeo.com/46569776
Poor quality 'earbuds' should be called 'earfoes'!!! Am I right?
How the hell do any of you people even function on only 9 hours of sleep!?!?!
"HSUS Misleads Again." It's important to know where your money goes, and who the good guys aren't. tailsofjoy.net/hsus-misleads/
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Whenever I see French Toast, IHOP and Waffle House trending at the same time I can tell that mass has just let out.
You know those little oatmeal packets that come in many wonderful flavors? I never eat those.
Cliff Richard has sold 250 million records worldwide. While we're on the subject of bogus sales totals, I've sold over 50 million records.
Just switched over to invisible ink. Can anyone see this tweet?
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Watch enough of those free Disney Vacation Planning DVDs and you'll be bankrupt in no time!
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I tweeted about the X Files and got no response. Hmmmm...If I had my own episode of X Files, this would be in it. #creepy #xfiles
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Binge watching #XFiles on @netflix. How did I miss this when it was on TV?! #scifi is awesome!!!
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Panda Express is trending. Don't tell me there has been another Ron Artest name change.
NEW! My complete #Denver Main Titles #Music inspired by the DENVER Graphic Novel from @jpalmiotti @JVGray @PierBrito youtube.com/watch?v=HqHk3c…
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Please read my new post When the Laughter Dies on my website booksbypattidavis.com.
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This Improv meeting isn't going according to the script
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twitter is like being in a room with no windows or a clock..
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A man named Ronald Macdonald robbed a Wendy’s in 2005.
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OMG! Kansas City Royals are in first place. Gotta tweet it: youtu.be/nlcIKh6sBtc
This is one screwy golf course I'm playing at today. I asked my caddy for a sand wedge and he brought me pastrami on rye.
I rarely tweet colour pics, this time I can't resist! - pic.twitter.com/HOuUFXYuGW
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Barbie Sales Are Down For The Eighth Consecutive Quarter, Because Monsters buff.ly/1nS3yAP
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.@BradHines I blame it on the misguided launch of CNBC Barbie. No kid wants to play with forecast data.
He calls his van The Love Machine which I assumes means he delivers pizza?
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@MintMickey: @WendyLiebman Do u have a favorite flavor?” One of each.
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Richie Havens - "San Francisco Bay Blues": youtu.be/wGO6uxuq38o | RIP @robinwilliams
Eric Clapton - "I Get Lost": youtu.be/NcXnchu1xDU
What year did Boko Haram record "A Whiter Shade of Pale"?
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In a 24-hour CVS looking for a greeting card. They don't have any that say "Thank you for unfollowing me!"
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My copy of Lunatics, previously signed hy @rayadverb, has now been signed by the very funny @AlanZweibel.
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Autocorrect changed "pork barrel" to "Portobello"...and now it looks like I'm opposed to purchasing mushrooms.
"Washington Post reporter Wesley Lowery gives account of his arrest": washingtonpost.com/politics/in-fe… #mediablackout
I'm starting a website called FacePlant.... It's like FaceBook but for drunks.
Nostalgia -- it'll bite you in the ass everytime.
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For every action there is an equal and opposite wtf.
I'll admit it... I do not always understand some of the stuff that passes for entertainment.
My speech patterns in comedic performances are highly influenced by having watched Wendy Liebman's standup as a child. And here we are.
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Anyone else notice that Flores is like a less athletic Nick Evans? Guy can't play
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Bring a pet treat,toy,or food 2 my show @NewtonTheatre Newton, NJ 8/23 & get $5 off tix. thenewtontheatre.com #newtonnj #spartanj #nyc
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The Way Way Back gets way way better in the second half. #justsaying
I'm listening to @spoontheband's Kill the Moonlight. Now u know what I'm listening to.
He said, "I think these new curved TVs will be the Edsels of TVs." She said, "How the hell do you drive a curved TV!?!?"
Come sail away #juice (kale, cucumber, green apple, peaches,ginger,parsley). #juicing #foodart#healthyeating #rawfood pic.twitter.com/FQOgrULU1U
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#RobinWilliams & I lived together in LA in '77-78. All was possible, hopeful, happy, new, & he did get there. RIP. twitpic.com/e9yj82
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